Harmonic Convergence
by Nostalgicmiss
Summary: When Bella comes to stay with Charlie, his first inclination is to keep her away from the vampires and send her to school on the Reservation where she'll be protected. Her life changes forever when bad boy Paul comes out to play. A/U, BxP, Rated M
1. Chapter 1

**All recognizable names are the property of Stephenie Meyer. We just like playing dress up in her shoes.**

**This is another collab from Sabi'sSookie (who sill be writing Paul) and Nostalgicmiss (who will be writing Bella). We just couldn't stay away from working together! We have an addiction! It is rated M and not suitable for those under the age of 18, so if you are… don't tell us!**

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><p><strong>Chapter One<strong>

_Set me free, leave me be._  
><em>I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.<em>  
><em>Here I am and I stand so tall,<em>  
><em>Just the way I'm supposed to be.<em>  
><strong><em>Gravity by Sara Barelles<em>**

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><p><strong>Bella<strong>

It was raining, again. As it had from the moment my plane had touched down in the Pacific Northwest. First in Seattle, then in Port Angeles and then all the way on the drive to my new hometown, Forks. It was a far cry from the hot, dry desert of Phoenix Arizona, but it was where I would be living now. Charlie, my dad, was more than happy to welcome me into his home when I'd asked. It was a sacrifice I'd had to make for my mom's happiness and I wasn't upset about it. Maybe getting to know my dad was a good thing, though we'd barely said a word to one another last night when I arrived.

He and I were more alike than I'd cared to admit. Both of us were the strong, silent types, taking everything in our strides and showing as little emotion as possible about it. It was how we coped, our defense mechanisms.

It was only the morning after that he'd decided to tell me that I wouldn't be going to Forks High School. I'd assumed I would be going there as it was the school closest to Charlie's home, I'd even had my mom send my transcripts there; but instead, he'd insisted that I go to school on the reservation down in La Push.

This sucked for two reasons. One, I had to leave an extra fifteen minutes early, which meant I had to get up a half hour earlier and wake up enough to drive there and two, I wasn't a Native American. Not that I was prejudice, more that I was worried about sticking out like a sore thumb. I was more the blend in with the scenery type. I wanted to resemble those little flowers on the wall that nobody noticed.

Thankfully, I still had a full day before I was expected to wake up at the ass crack of dawn and ride to school, and Charlie was taking me down to the Reservation so I could meet some of my potential friends before I started. He'd also told me he'd bought me a refurbished truck from Billy, so I could get to school without having to depend on him for a ride. That in its self was a silver lining in this constant cloud cover. What kid wanted to show up for their first day of school in a cop car?

I wiped away the condensation on the mirror and stared at my pale reflection. My skin was so fair it was practically translucent, which just seemed to add to the theory of standing out. The limited memory that I had of my time down on the Reservation was more than clear about the beautiful russet skin most of them sported.

Wishing I hadn't cleared the mirror and set in on my self-depreciation I got down to my routine of teeth brushing and hair drying. Then I chanced a dash to my room in a towel. Only having one bathroom was certainly a change I wasn't excited about. I was sure if Charlie caught me toga togged he would turn crimson, which may even be followed by a puce color. I knew the details because I had the same affliction when I was embarrassed or frustrated.

Satisfied it was as good as it was gonna get, I threw on some clothes that would keep me warm and pulled my hair up into a ponytail to keep it out of my way. La Push was on the coast, which meant the wind would throw my hair around if I left it hanging freely. After all, practicality had been my middle name for years. I'd been looking after my mom for as long as I could remember, and even though this was my chance to be a teen, I couldn't help but feel that my opportunity had passed.

I had no idea what to expect since I hadn't been down to the Reservation since I was a kid, but from what Charlie had said over breakfast there were at least a couple people down there eager to meet me. Unfortunately, that wasn't exactly comforting when you considered my wallflower status.

"Bells, you ready?" Charlie called up from downstairs, his voice filled with excitement. I could hear him pulling on his shoes and coat as I opened the door. I hadn't realized I was running so late, being lost in my own head at least made the time pass.

"Coming," I replied, closing my bedroom door behind me as I pulled on the heavy winter jacket mom had bought for me as a parting gift. It was possibly one of my favorite things, how she'd found an old school, faux fur hood lined, olive green parka was beyond me. It was a definite throwback from the eighties and it almost had me wishing that I had the Sex Pistols or The Cure on my iPod. The dialup Internet my dad had was no conducive to speedy downloads.

The ride down to La Push was shrouded in our usual companionable silence, which was only broken up with the occasional noise-ladened update from the stations dispatcher. Charlie loved his job as chief of police, which meant even when off duty he had to be connected to the station in some form or fashion. There was always a radio in his pocket turned down low, even when sports center was on.

It wasn't until we broke through the lining of the trees and the coast opened up into a white capped roil of turmoil, that I started feeling better about having the chance to go to school there. Even angry and gray it was beautiful. The dark water seemed to bleed off to meet the dark sky on the edge of the horizon, and I knew I could stand there watching as nature made her presence known. I'd forgotten how beautiful it was here, or maybe I just hadn't appreciated it as a kid.

"It never looks the same way twice," Charlie said from beside me, as he slowed for a stop sign that led into a neighborhood full of worn down homes that sat a little off the ground. "Just wait until you see the beach."

I gave him a smile and turned my attention back to the natural scene ahead of me. It was strange but the houses seemed to fit, there were no elaborate mansions, or ugly architectural structures. The slightly weather worn houses lining the streets just seemed to fit. It was quaint and homely.

When we turned into a driveway that belonged to a red painted clapboard home, I couldn't help but smile. I actually found it endearing, it had an old world charm that just fit here in the forests of Washington State. I don't think it could have been more perfect if it was a log cabin. Even the small shack situated to the back, with it's small worn down porch and mismatched shutters, looked homey and welcoming.

Before Charlie could even turn off the cruiser, the front door of the home was thrown open and a good-looking kid with short dark hair and kind eyes, stepped out. He jumped the three steps that were sat next to a homemade wheelchair ramp and landed in the damp dirt at the bottom. His smile was infectious and made me feel more at ease than awkward as I had initially anticipated.

"That's Billy's boy, Jacob."

"I remember him, I think. Doesn't he have sisters?" I asked, unclasping the seatbelt Charlie had insisted I wear.

"Becca and Rachel, they've both moved on. Rachel headed onto college, and Becca's married and living in Hawaii."

"She didn't hang around."

"No," Charlie laughed, pushing open his door. "But Billy's stuck with his boys, they're not going anywhere."

"Boys?" I asked curiously. "As in plural? I thought . . ."

"He took a good kid, called Paul in, but you let them tell you about that. It's not our business to talk about."

"Yes, sir," I agreed, opening my own door and climbing out. It was one thing about Charlie I respected the most. He didn't pry, he respected people's privacy, and he never offered advice unless he found it completely necessary.

We'd parked behind an ancient red truck, and somewhere along the way Jacob had popped the tailgate and was perched on the edge of it, watching us with amusement.

"Hello, Bella," he smirked, exaggerating the O on the hello, which earned him an incredulous look from Charlie. "Good to see you again."

"You too?" I hadn't meant for it to come out as a question, but it had, and Jacob seemed to find it highly amusing. There went the aforementioned blush.

"So, Bells," Charlie finally said, running his hand along the paint chipped edge of the truck bed. "What do you think?"

Rather than answering I gave him a raised eyebrow in question. I'd only lived with him for twenty-four hours; it wasn't as though we had developed an understanding of the cryptic yet.

"Your new wheels," Jacob interceded, hopping off the tailgate and walking down the opposite side, motioning for me to follow.

"You mean . . ."

"I know it's not exactly cool . . ." Charlie started, but I cut him off, stumbling as I followed Jacob.

"Are you serious? I love it. It's got a sense of charm to it," I sang giving him the brightest smile since I'd arrived. Jacob popped open the hood and it creaked on rusty hinges.

"Paul and I have been working on this beast forever. We rebuilt the engine," he said leaning on over the cavernous space under the hood. I followed his example and hung over the edge. "It's got new belts and a new battery."

"If it runs, we're good," I grinned, leaning over the edge and noting the hardware that was shinier in comparison to it's counterparts. As involved as I was in this spectacular gift, I found myself pulled away from it as though something was calling my name.

Standing up, I looked behind me and met a set of brown eyes that I found I couldn't break the connection with. They belonged to a handsome guy that had to stand at least six foot five, his chest was bare even in the freezing cold weather and I found myself concerned that he'd end up catching a cold, which was ridiculous considering it was the first time I'd met him.

For a moment I had to check to make sure I hadn't tripped over something and smashed my head. This wasn't my usual MO, especially when it came to guys. In fact, I'd never so much as looked at a guy I liked without flaring scarlet and hightailing it. Surprisingly, even with that epiphany, I couldn't seem to drag my eyes away from his magnificence.

I was stood a little ways away from him, but it was hard not to notice the subtle scars that marred his chest. They were deep and violent and I couldn't help wondering what could have hurt him that badly.

Caught in my own mind watching him like a deer in the headlights, I found I hadn't been aware that he'd spoken. It wasn't until Jake reacted from right beside me that I realized something was wrong.

The guy ahead of me, who I could only assume was Paul, was shaking so hard he was practically vibrating. His face, was a flux of emotions as he glared at me, yet not once did I back down. I met his stare head on and watched with concern as the jerky movements continued.

"Dad!" Jake shouted from beside me, making me jump a little. "Call Sam! NOW!"

I had no idea what he was talking about; I just hoped that whoever Sam was would help Paul. I rocked on the balls of my feet, as my natural instinct seemed to push me to him.

"Bells, just stay where you are honey. Don't go any closer," Charlie called out, his voice filled with concern I couldn't understand.

I normally would have listened and lost interest in whatever it was that was going on, but I found myself ignoring his request. For the first time in my life, my need was pulling me in the direction of the handsome guy that was seemingly caught up in his own torment.

Unfathomably, it seemed like I had only blinked once before I found myself stood in front of him watching him with a curiosity I couldn't quite place, his body moved in a way I'd never seen before, as though it was warring with itself. I'd never seen anything like it in my life.

When I looked up at him again, his eyes were closed, shutting me off from the connection I'd had with him when I'd first turned around from the hood of the truck.

"Are you all right?" I asked taking him in now he was closer. I could feel the heat rolling off his body in waves, and I couldn't stop myself from reaching out to one of the more predominant scars on his chest.

It was deeper than most of the others, the scar puckered angrily as though it hadn't been fixed quickly enough.

"Paul, right?" I asked, almost sighing as my fingers brushed feather light across the op of the scar. I didn't get much further. Paul sucked the air through his teeth and his eyes flashed open in surprise.

"Shit, fuck, shit," he growled before taking off at a dead sprint and disappearing into the small shack that sat at the back of the Black's home, slamming the door closed behind him. It only took a second before sounds of destruction filled the air.

I watched as long as I could before the images in my mind caught up with the sounds ringing through the salty sea air. I wrapped my arms around myself like I normally felt self conscious, but this time I felt as though I'd misplaced something important.

"You okay?" Jacob asked, approaching slowly as I watched another tall guy enter the small shack cautiously. It was all so bizarre, Paul's reaction, Jacob's concern, none of it made sense. Stood in the cold breeze rolling off the pacific, I found that the comfortable feeling I'd had around Jacob was the only thing that seemed to settle the new ache that began to fill my body.

I hoped I wasn't getting sick. That was the last thing I needed.

"Bells honey, come inside," Charlie called from the door of Billy's house, his eyes filled with concern as they flickered to yet another crash from the small shack.

I nodded automatically, not really knowing what I was feeling or what exactly had transpired so quickly in the last ten minutes. Jacob was watching me just as expectantly as Charlie was, and when I forced a smile and started walking, he simply followed without comment.

So much for fitting in and making friends, I'd said less than two words to Paul and had already repulsed him enough to tear his house apart. This was going to be the worst school year ever.

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><p><strong>Paul<strong>

I looked down at my body, tracing the marred flesh that was riddled with scars. The girl who I had most recently kicked out of my little shack had called them sexy. Just like all the others, she never asked how I got them. Hell, most of the women I bedded had been repulsed by them all together. It just proved my theory that there was no such thing as love, and the love that did exist either made you a monster or turned you into a pussy-whipped fool. It was why I was relieved to hear that imprinting was rare. Sam was a fine Alpha, and his mate Emily was the best woman I had ever met, but in a battle, Sam's mind was always on Emily in one form or another. It made him weak. I would not… no, _could not_, be weak.

"Paul! Dinner!" Jake bellowed from his house next door. I slipped on a pair of shorts and headed to the Black's; the place I had called home for three years.

I walked in the front door and was greeted by Charlie Swan. It was no surprise that he was there. The man practically lived at the little red house, but that day he seemed off. He was actually smiling under that porn stache of his.

"What's up, old man?" I asked as I patted Charlie on the shoulder. He was one of the best men I had ever known. He was the one that found me that night, and took me from my bastard of a father. I think he would've kept me too, but Social Services deemed it a tribal matter.

"Bella's coming. Be here next week." Charlie's smile widened. He talked about the daughter he never saw constantly, and she never visited so I could imagine he was ecstatic.

"For a visit? That's great Chief," I said as I inhaled my dinner.

"Nah, she's coming to live here. Her mom remarried. Billy here fixed it up so she can go to school here on the Res. The Cullen's are nice people… er, vampires, but she's my daughter and there's no harm in being cautious."

I still remember the day that good ol' Charlie found out that all the scary stories were true. He and Billy had just come back from fishing and were three sheets to the wind. Jake and I were arguing over God knows what and right before Charlie's eyes Jake exploded into a giant wolf. Now, a normal reaction would have been to run screaming. Charlie's reaction…

"Huh. Billy, when did you get a dog?" And he just walked in the house. Billy, of course explained shit to him, but Charlie never treated us any different.

"I want you boys to watch out for her. Paul, I know you graduated, but… well… I know your… reputation with the girls. Just… I'm not tellin' ya' not to be friends with her, just keep it in your pants, okay?" We all burst into laughter at Charlie's request.

"What about Jake? He's the one that beats his meat to her Facebook page!" Charlie's face turned an unnatural shade of red at my words and Jake gulped loudly. Billy failed at his attempt at holding in a chuckle.

"Jacob! Are you… have you… You know what? I don't want to know. You keep it in your pants too!" At that even Charlie joined in laughing, but kept a wary eye on Jake.

The week passed quickly, and I forgot all about the arrival of one Miss Swan, so you could imagine what happened when I saw a tight little ass leaned over the old behemoth of a truck that Jake and I fixed up. Long, mahogany hair was pulled into a high ponytail, showing off a slim, pale neck. My heightened senses could see her pulse throbbing below the skin, and her scent made it's way into my nostrils causing a shiver to roll down my spine. She was a small thing, probably only came up to my chest, and I wanted her to turn around so I could see the face of my next conquest. But when she turned around, I was met with the color of melted chocolate. My whole body froze and I felt a pull deep in my soul to check her over, make sure she was safe, and hold her….

"Fuck!" I yelled, startling the brown-eyed beauty before me.

"Oh shit," Jake cursed under his breath, as he realized what had just happened.

My body shook as I fought to keep my distance. My wolf was fighting to get to the surface, determined to go to her if I would not.

"Dad!" Jake called "Call Sam! NOW!"

Then I heard Charlie's voice. "Bells, just stay where you are honey. Don't go any closer."

How had I not noticed that she had moved so that she was standing right in front of me? I inhaled deeply, taking in her scent. It was soft and clean. Like what I always imagined a real home would smell like, fresh laundry, cookies in the oven, and warmth. See? Already turning into a pussy. Dammit. And she was fucking innocent. Not a hint of a male scent on her anywhere.

"Are you all right?" Her voice was as small as her and my eyes popped back open to take her in. Her features fit perfectly on her heart-shaped face. All except for her lips. They were both full, but the bottom was slightly too big for the top. I wanted to take it in my mouth…

"Paul, right?" Her tiny hand reached up to touch one of the scars on my bare chest and I wanted to sob. She was reverent and loving, and…

"Shit, fuck, shit," I mumbled under my breath and pulled away from her before running as fast as my feet would carry me to me little shack. I fought to catch my breath as I was on the verge of hyperventilating. Imprinting wasn't instant love, but it was a bonding that was undeniable, and it always, ALWAYS _led _to love.

"NO!" I flipped my kitchen table over and began smashing it to bits. I knew that I had to fight. The wolf side of me was fighting so hard that I could see flashes of silver fur appear and disappear. He wanted out to go to _her_. She ruined me! All I could think was that I would fight it. I would run, as far and as fast as possible. Maybe go hunt down a leech or two. That would occupy the wolf until I could figure out what to do.

"Calm down, Paul." The Alpha command from Sam forced my body to be still, but the war continued to rage on inside.

"Command me to stay away from her! Please!" I begged and he looked at me with pity.

"Paul, brother, you know it would only hurt you both, She won't know what or why, but she will feel the pull to a certain extent. And you… I tried to fight it when I imprinted on Emily and look where it got us. Look at my Emily's face. The second I was anywhere near her the wolf fought too hard and she got in the way."

"You know me, Sam. I will ruin her! Charlie… he deserves better than me as a mate for his daughter, and that girl… I don't know her, but I'm sure she deserves better too! I could smell how pure she was, Sam! She is innocent and I am…" I trailed off. We both knew exactly what kind of monster I was. What kind of monster I would be if I allowed myself to get close to her.

"Do it, Sam. Order me!" His eyes searched mine and I saw the acceptance, then determination.

"A compromise. I order you to stay away from Bella Swan for a period of one week. Give yourself some time to calm down and see reason. If in that week you do not want to go to her as a human, you must at least be near her in wolf form. I can't have your wolf off his game and he will be if you keep him from her for too long. Now go."

I didn't like the compromise, but I would take it. At least I would have time to get myself together. I hoped.

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><p><strong>Sabi'sSookie: So, we're back! We just couldn't help ourselves! I am so happy to be doing a collab with my bestie, Nostalcigmiss again! And so happy to be getting some more Paul out there for you all! I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it!<strong>

**Nostalgicmiss: Now you went and said that Sabi I have AC\DC stuck in my head! lol Yet you're right, we couldn't help ourselves. Writing with Sabi is a dream, and writing with my bestie is phenomenal. She has a brilliant mind and has some of the best ideas ever! I have always loved Sabi's Paul's so I was so excited to do this! While we're here I just want to thank you for reading in advance, and we hope that you enjoy reading it, because I had a blast writing it too! **


	2. Chapter 2  Paul

**All recognizable names are the property of Stephenie Meyer. We just like playing dress up in her shoes.**

**This story is not suitable for those under the age of 18. It is rated M, so if you're not old enough to buy a pack of smokes… we don't wanna know!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3 <strong>

_I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing_  
><em> With a broken heart, that's still beating<em>  
><em> In the pain, there is healing<em>  
><strong><em> Broken by Lighthouse<em>**

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><p><strong>Paul<strong>

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><p>I had run as far and as fast as my feet would carry me. I wanted to be as far away from her as possible! But Sam was right, being away from her made the wolf unfocused and by the end of the week it had become a battle to stay away. If not for the alpha order I probably would have been outside her window every single night. My lack of focus almost cost me my life as I encountered a red-eyed leech on the outskirts of Vancouver. His arms had made their way around my chest and the resounding sound of my ribs breaking snapped some sense into me. Maybe I couldn't be near her as a human, but my wolf had to be pacified.<p>

After I killed the leech, I called Sam and he and Charlie came to pick me up.

"You all right, son?" Charlie shook his head as he looked at me in the rearview mirror of his squad car.

"Yeah, I'll be right as rain in a few days, Chief." I could tell that he wanted to say something and I assume that someone had filled him in on the fact that I imprinted on his daughter, but in true Charlie fashion he kept his mouth shut. He must have been as pleased with the idea as I was.

"We're gonna' talk about this later, kid, if you don't pull your head out of your ass," was all he said and I knew that he meant it. His kind smile, though, showed me that he was not angry.

"Your week's up, Paul," Sam stated and I nodded. I would be outside Bella's house as soon as I could.

Sure as shit, I phased and my wolf limped his injured ass to the Swan house as soon as the Chief dropped us off on the Res. Behind her house, I stayed in the tree-line and watched as she moved around inside the house. Charlie looked out the window, probably trying to spot me and suggested that maybe Bella go for a walk since she seemed a bit antsy.

When she stepped out of the house I had to fight not to run to her, and if I hadn't been so injured I probably would have. Somehow, though, my girl spotted me and a gasp escaped her perfect mouth. I slowly limped in her direction and she stood stock still as I made my way to her. I could smell her fear, but then she took in the way I was limping and I saw concern wash over her features.

"You poor thing." Her hand reached out like she wanted to touch me, but she jerked it back quickly. "You're _huge_! I bet you could kill me instantly couldn't you? Are you going to bite me?" She asked and I immediately shook my head no, forgetting that a real wolf wouldn't do that.

"Shit, that did not just happen," she squeaked and I snorted.

"Where are you hurt, big guy? You are a guy, right?" Another snort escaped me as she tilted her head to look underneath my body.

The smell hit me before the sound of him did and I immediately took my place in front of Bella, guarding her from view. His eyes were a bright golden color from his recent hunt, yet as soon as he took in my girl's scent they became pitch black. My ears flattened and a low, warning growl escaped my lips as they pulled back to reveal my giant canines. The leech glanced briefly at me but his eyes immediately went to Bella. I saw the hunger in his eyes, and I knew what that meant. Fear was rolling off Bella in waves. I wanted to reassure her that I wouldn't hurt her somehow but I couldn't take my eyes off the leech that was staring at her.

The bloodsucker wanted my mate. _MINE!_

His head cocked to the side as if he was trying to figure something out and a deep look of concentration came over his face. He had stopped breathing, but the low growl rolling in his chest told me that the threat had not passed. His posture was tense as if he was battling with himself.

_Treaty or no treaty I'll rip the fucker to shreds if he even thinks about taking another step in her direction_.

As if the bastard heard my thoughts he was off like a shot, leaving me alone with my girl. I knew I would have to keep a closer eye on Bella because from the look in his eye he would be back. He wanted what was mine and he would have to kill me to get her.

A little squeak from Bella caused me to turn and look at her. I tried to look less threatening and let my tongue loll out of the side of my mouth. She looked around me, probably trying to decide where the leech went, her doe eyes confused. So to distract her I licked the side of her face and wagged my tail. I felt like the world's biggest pussy, but the giggle that escaped her lips was worth it.

Ever so slowly her tiny hand reached out and touched my fur-covered cheek.

"Your eyes," she whispered, but I was too lost in the sensation of her touch to care. A low rumbling of pleasure erupted in my chest making her giggle again. But my body was exhausted and in pain so I laid down with an undignified huff.

She laid with me, letting her fingers run through my silver pelt. When the sun finally went down I heard Charlie call her name about the same time Jake popped into my head telling me we had a pack meeting to attend. As she shot me a final glance before running to her house I knew that I couldn't stay away. At least not in wolf form. I couldn't ruin her as the wolf, so it would help us both. And with the leech seemingly interested in her, I would never be far.

"_Have fun playing puppy for Bella?"_ Jake snorted.

"_Shut the fuck up, dipshit. And the ginger leech came a little too close to Bella today. I want to ask Sam to include her home in the treaty."_ Jake growled so I knew he understood. I could see in his thoughts that he cared about Bella. Perhaps a bit too much for my liking, but at least she had someone to watch her back and be her friend when I couldn't.

They had become friends at school while I was gone and she would occasionally come by the Black house. Jake showed me an image of her looking in the direction of my little shack and my heart thumped loudly in my chest. Had she been looking for me?

"_She asked about you a few times,_" Jake assured me and it caused that same contented rumbling in my chest.

The pack meeting was fairly uneventful. Basically it was Sam filling everyone in on my reasons for taking off and that for the next week or so they were going to take my shifts so that my wolf could settle down and I could heal. I told Sam about what happened in the woods and concern flickered over his face.

"But it's their territory. It has been for years. We can't tell them what to do on their own territory. I will speak with the head of the coven and tell him that Bella is your imprint and make her home neutral land, but I cannot order them to stay off their own land. I am sorry, Paul, but they are not human drinkers. We have to trust that they will not harm her."

"TRUST? Are you fucking kidding me?" I stood up and ignored the pain in my ribs as I stalked toward him. "What if it was Emily? Would you be so willing to let them near her then? No! Of course you fucking wouldn't!"

"Paul, calm down!" Sam ordered and my mind rebelled against my body's compliance to his command.

"I'm going with you to meet them. Make the call." My jaw clenched tight as I spoke through my teeth and as Sam made the call I paced. Fortunately Dr. Fang had time to meet us then. I don't think I could have handled waiting.

The doc showed up with the ginger leech and a blonde male covered in crescent shaped scars. I growled menacingly as Sam and I remained in human form while Jake stood as his russet colored wolf.

"Cullen," Sam spoke.

"Yes, Sam, what is this all about?" I glared at Ginger. He knew full well what it was all about. He had been too close to my mate. Once again he cocked his head at me in interest.

"Stay the fuck away from Bella Swan. She is mine." I warned.

"Sorry?" The doc looked back and forth between Ginger and me.

"Red knows exactly what the fuck I'm talking about. If I hadn't been there he would have drained her dry," I growled.

"We do not hunt humans, only animals. You know this." Doc stated as if that fixed everything.

"Bella's blood sings to me. It is true that I had a difficult time resisting, but I am past that now and will not harm a hair on her head." Ginger was trying my patience with his calm tone. I felt a calm threaten to pass through my body and I shook it off. I didn't want to be fucking calm.

"We are here," Sam interrupted our pissing contest, "to ask that the Swan house be neutral territory and you respect the fact that she is Paul's mate and leave her alone."

"That should not be a problem, should it, Edward?" The doc turned to Red who smiled a smug smile.

"I cannot help if we accidentally run into one another, but I will keep my distance from her home." I heard what he wasn't saying and growled loudly. I felt the calm threatening to wash over me again.

"Which one of you fuckers is fucking with my emotions?" Their faces were calm masks, but the scarred leech raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I know some of you fuckers have _talents_. So stop fucking with me!" I spat.

"Jasper," the doc ordered and he nodded in return. My emotions were my own again.

"Is that all you wished to discuss?" Doc asked and Sam nodded. They were gone as quickly as they had come. They had agreed but I was not satisfied with the terms. I wanted Bella protected at all times. With that thought I ran to my little shack and made it just in time to catch a glimpse of my girl waiting on the Black's porch. Jake, who was in human form by then, ran over to her, but her eyes did not leave me.

"Hi, Paul," she said as she bit her bottom lip.

I wanted to run to her, but instead gave her a controlled nod and made my way to my little shack and out of her sight.

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><p><strong>Sabi'sSookie: The response to the first chapter amazed me! You guys are so awesome! I loved every review and appreciate every add and favorite! You rock! And Nostalgicmiss is the best co-author and BFF a girl could ask for! She's the Laverne to my Shirley, the PB to my J, the… ah, you get the point! Weezy, girl, you are the best and as always I am having a blast writing with you! You make it easy, hunnie! <strong>**SMOOSHES*******

**Nostalgicmiss: **I just want to say thank you to all of you that have read, alerted and faved the story so far, I would also like to thank all of you that have reviewed, you're all amazing. I would also like to thank Sabi'sSookie for being an amazing friend and for inspiring me every day! Her Paul is definitely larger than life and I am honored to be writing with you honey! *Smooshes*


	3. Chapter 3 Bella

**All recognizable names are the property of Stephenie Meyer. We just like playing dress up in her shoes.**

**This story is not suitable for those under the age of 18. It is rated M, so if you're not old enough to buy a pack of smokes… we don't wanna know!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2 – Bella<strong>

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><p><em>Digging deeper in my mind, can't get you out of my head.<br>There's no way to describe, just how you make me feel.  
>I don't know is it love, I have lost control<br>Even when I'm gone, I can't get away.  
><strong>Focus by 10 Years<strong>_

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><p>Driving home from the Black's house in my newly acquired truck, I felt as though I'd forgotten something. It was like I'd put something down and hadn't picked it up on my way out; but everything I'd taken with me was on my person. It didn't make sense. It felt like I was leaving my mom all over again, but the emptiness was bigger somehow.<p>

Placing one arm on the small shelf where the window met the door, I gripped the root of my hairs and pulled. I couldn't place the feeling or the source of it and it was driving me crazy. In all honesty, apart from this disturbing emotional meltdown, all I could think about was Paul.

After spending barely five minutes enquiring whether he was all right I decided that it was insane to be thinking about him in any capacity other than a mystery; but I just kept coming back to him, those scars, that look in his eyes. There was so much torment in his eyes when he'd looked at me. Stranger than that, I felt like I knew him when I couldn't possibly.

Even Charlie was beginning to freak me out with the surreptitious glances from under his lashes while he watched me eat. I felt like the earth had slid from its axis and I was the only person who hadn't noticed.

It was only when the looks of complete rapturous fascination became too much to ignore, that I reminded Charlie I had school in the morning, and politely said my goodbyes. I'd told him to stay but he insisted on coming with me, his eyes bright and full of humor as he and Billy said goodbye with whispers like two old women gossiping. If I hadn't known better I would have been worried.

Jacob walked me to my truck and dangled the keys in front of me with a grin that showed a row of his perfectly white teeth, dinner had at least managed to give me one friend and I was glad of it. I was still none the wiser about what had entertained them all so much, but at least I wasn't terrified about starting school the next day. Jacob was a year younger than me but he'd promised to introduce me to Jared and his girlfriend Kim who were juniors too. There was hope that I wouldn't feel completely alienated. At least I hoped I wouldn't.

When my alarm went off the next morning I groaned into my pillow and rolled to my side, slapping at the small box with the inoffensive green numbers. It felt like I'd only just fallen asleep. I'd tossed and turned all night with that same haunting feeling of forgetfulness. When I finally did drift off, my dreams were filled black holes that led nowhere.

I was tormented even by my subconscious, and I couldn't put a why to the affliction.

Going through my morning routine, I headed down the stairs with a backpack filled with the books Charlie had bought in preparation for my arrival. I felt like a walking zombie, and it didn't go unnoticed by the only other occupant in the house. Charlie was sat at the table in his uniform, eating cereal as he flicked through the morning paper.

"What happened to you?" he asked with a bemused smile.

"Couldn't sleep," I grumbled, grabbing a bowl and filling it with the cereal from the first box my hand landed on. I fell into the seat opposite him and let my heavy head rest on the hand at the end of the arm resting on the table. I had a distinct feeling I wasn't going to be learning much in class today. I could barely think, so listening and absorbing would be a no go.

"First day nerves?"

"Something like that," I sighed, wondering why he was all of a sudden a chatty Cathy. I'd never heard him talk so much, not even with Billy around. Why he'd chosen that morning for a game of twenty questions was beyond me, but I would humor him, considering I was heading out in ten minutes.

"You okay to drive?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Just need coffee," I said nodding to the pot.

"Your mom let you drink coffee?"

I smiled a lazy smile and shook my head as I pushed up from my seat. Resting my hand on his shoulder as I wandered past I made my way to the coffee. He looked up at me with questioning eyes.

"You do remember who my mother is?" I asked, opening the cupboard above the coffeemaker. "And anyway she trusts me to make the right decisions for me. It's one cup a day."

Charlie took a mouthful of his cereal and got up, placing the bowl in the sink before turning to lean against it. He watched me as I hunted for the sugar. The look was the very same he was at the Black's house last night, and it unnerved me.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like you know something I don't," I said, padding back to my chair and sliding into it. "I don't see you often, but I know you, and that look is not in your inventory."

"Just proud of my little girl is all. You're growing up too quick."

"You make it sound like I'm getting married. It's just high school."

He gave me a nod and turned to grab his utility belt from the hook he'd kept it on since I was old enough to know what it was. The only difference now was he left the gun in it.

"You have my number if you need me?"

"Yes, sir. I also have Billy's number, the direct number to your desk at the station, dispatch, and Sue Clearwater's number. I think I'm covered. Now how about you go to work before you insist on driving me to school."

"You telling me you'd be embarrassed to show up in the back of a police cruiser?"

"The fact that you even said the back is exactly why the answer to that is yes."

He bellowed out a laugh before patting my shoulder and heading for the door, his perfectly polished shoes creaking as he moved. "Have a good day, kid."

"You too, old man."

He left, leaving his laugh hanging in the air as he closed the door behind him. It appeared that exhaustion made me snide, and amusing to my father. Not that I was complaining, having a semi decent conversation with a father you saw for three weeks a year wasn't a terrible start to the day.

Finishing off my breakfast, and coffee, I dumped my dishes in the sink and hurried out the door, making sure to lock it before climbing into the truck and cranking it up. Thankfully, it started first time. I'd had my doubts, looking at the rusted exterior you wouldn't know the manifold had been replaced. Whatever the hell a manifold was. Whether I understood the lingo or not was a moot point, the fact was I would have to remember to thank Jacob . . . and, well, Paul.

I tried to ignore the slight stirring in my stomach as I thought his name. It was ridiculous. I didn't know the guy and he very obviously didn't want to know me, so this crush I had going on was pointless and highly unreciprocated. I just needed to get over myself and get on with my life. Of course that didn't stop my mind from wandering to him on the drive down to the reservation. It was like he was a magnet and my crazy ass brain was the polar opposite, I couldn't even forcefully part them. Maybe finding out a little more information about him would stop this stupid schoolgirl obsession I seemed to have with him.

Jacob met me in the parking lot just as he'd promised, his smile lighting up the foggy gray morning that had done nothing to improve my mood or my fatigue. I was actually glad to see him and returned his smile.

"Morning," he sang pleasantly, offering me the crook of his arm and actually pushing a laugh out of me. "Welcome to the most exclusive school in Clallam County."

"I feel honored."

"And so you should, we don't let just any riff raff in here. Be thankful that the chief likes your dad."

"Oh I am," I teased. "Let's face it, I'm nothing without my influential father."

"You'd be surprised," Jacob laughed, and jumped as one of his friends slapped the back of his head. "Hey."

"And you wonder why we call you big mouth Black," the guy shook his head, and wrapped his arm around a pretty girl that was stood to his left. "You must be Bella, Jacob hasn't stopped talking about you. I'm Jared and this is Kim."

"Well I would be flattered, but with a nickname like big mouth Black, I'm not convinced it's the right emotion to have."

Kim laughed, it was a light sound, airy almost, and her raven black hair seemed to cascade down her back with her laughter, shining in the dull morning light.

"I like you, Bella," she grinned. "You and I are going to get along just fine. Come with me and I'll fill you in on some of the need to know stuff. The first rule in this place is never to trust our boys . . ."

"Kim!"

"Oh shut up, Jared. You're our boys whether you like it or not." She looked at him pointedly making him shrink back and shrug before falling into step with Jacob. "They're going to test you, but it's all harmless fun, you just have to know how to handle them."

"Okay, them? Are you talking about boys in general or Quileute's?"

"A bit of both," she laughed winking at me and looking over her shoulder at Jared.

Kim ended up being one of the best tour guides I could have asked for. The kids in our group truly seemed to have some sort of exclusivity, most of the other kids seemed to give them space, but it was out of respect rather than fear. It just seemed unusual to be accepted without a blink. Each of the guys was hilarious and actually made me forget just how tired I was.

For a little while I felt like a normal teenager and it was nicer than I ever could have put words too. It had always just been my books and me in Phoenix, but I'd never needed anyone else when I had my mom around. She gave me space when I asked for it and seemed to know when I needed even a hint of companionship.

After the last class, which was an hour earlier than most other schools, I ended up taking up the invite to the Black's house. Observing the boys together was like watching brothers interact. They had a close bond that I couldn't really place other than a sibling rivalry. They ate like animals and took up almost all of the space in the house, but it felt natural, and even Billy seemed to enjoy the company. I never thought he could have fit them all into his house, but he'd managed with ease.

When it was finally time to leave, Jacob caught my eyes moving to the small shack that was behind their house. I hadn't meant to let my eyes wander, but they gravitated toward it, it was like fighting the direction of rain.

"He went out of town for the week, some . . . mechanical conference."

"Who?" I asked, trying to act as indifferent as I could without much success.

"Nice try, Bells," Jacob chuckled, giving me a one armed hug before releasing me. "I'll see you tomorrow and you better bring your A game."

"My B game is better than you're A game, Black," I teased, as I got in my truck and waved goodbye and headed home. I was happy that I had at least one normal day in a new school.

The rest of the week passed much the same way, I had trouble sleeping, woke up and felt as though I had misplaced something, checked everything in my bag including my homework. Then headed to school and mingled with the people that truly seemed to accept me. They seemed to ease some of the void that lingered within me. It wasn't a complete fix, but they made me feel welcome and occupied me enough to stop the emptiness that always triumphed when I was alone.

When the weekend rolled around, I found myself alone for the first time all week, I spent Saturday cleaning the house and doing laundry to keep myself occupied while Charlie fished with Billy. Jacob and the others had something they had to do which only left Kim, who was visiting her older sister in a small town down the coast.

They were all apologetic, but I waved them off as though it was no big deal. It was strange needing people after being so content to be alone most of my life. I'd thought that Charlie would be home on Sunday, but something had come up and he left early leaving me alone yet again.

This time I had nothing to do and I ended up wandering around the house, fighting the feeling that continually kept me hollow. It would have been nice to have a reason behind it, but there was nothing but endless space haunting my dreams, even subconsciously I seemed to be looking for something that was missing. I just had no idea what it was.

Jacob, being the friend he was, called me that afternoon to check in on me, and I appreciated the gesture, but the only thing I could do was assure him that I was fine. Even though I doubted he believed me.

Charlie ended up getting home in the late afternoon, when he took me in he apologized for leaving me alone so much and promised to be better. I wasn't sure how to explain to him that even as much as I appreciated the gesture, it didn't fix anything. After an hour of my pacing he gave me a sad smile and looked out the window as though looking for escape.

"Why don't you go for a walk? Clear your head a bit."

Without even thinking about it I agreed. It was as though he'd read my mind, something inside of me seemed to pull and tug as though the thing I had been missing so long would be waiting for me in the pines and spruces that surrounded the house.

"Just do me a favor, and stay on the path."

"You doubt my mad skills as a human compass?" I asked lightheartedly, feeling more liberated than I had in a week.

"Absolutely, you may be my daughter, but you're also Renee's."

"Point taken," I laughed, pulling on the olive green parka my mom had bought for me. "If I'm not back by night fall, send a search party."

"Not funny."

I giggled regardless and headed toward the door, unable to ignore the pull any longer. I closed the door behind me and headed toward the path that led into the forest behind the house. It was well worn so I hoped to at least stick to it, otherwise my statement would become more prophetic than a lame joke.

Before I was even two steps into the forest I stopped; the natural instinct to follow took my eyes off the beaten path and into the dense underbrush of the forest wall. I don't know how I found him when he was so hidden in the shrubbery, but then again he was huge, his silver fur blowing proud in the slight breeze that rustled through the forest. The wolf had to have been as big as a horse, and I couldn't stop the gasp that escaped my lips.

The sound came from both shock and recognition, because whether I understood it or not, this wolf was bringing me the peace I had longed for all week. Gone was the hollowness, even the void seemed to close in on itself and leave me with a quiet kind of serenity. Even though I knew he could rip me apart with little effort, it afforded me a sense of calm.

With a huge sigh that made his ribs expand in his chest, he limped toward me slowly. I wasn't sure what to do, I knew it was a dangerous animal and I should run, but I couldn't fight the pull I had to it, and it kept me in place as he approached. He limped slowly, his face reflecting the pain he seemed to be in.

"You poor thing," I mumbled, inadvertently reaching out to touch him. I dropped my hand as my head overruled my heart and I eyed the great beast from under my eyelashes.

Close up he was beautiful, the fur that was shorter around his muzzle looked like a soft suede, it gave way to silky looking silver fur that ran over his cheek and down his neck, running all the way across his body and down his muscular flanks. He was magnificent.

"You're _huge_! I bet you could kill me instantly couldn't you? Are you going to bite me?" I asked, almost laughing at myself for having a conversation with a wolf. Then he shook his head.

My whole body froze, and I had to fight the urge to feel my forehead, I didn't feel like I had a fever. Before my mouth could check with my brain I squeaked out exactly what I was thinking.

"Shit, that did not just happen."

He tipped his head to the side and the air came out of his nose. It perfectly resembled a snort, which only seemed to confuse me further. Then again, he had been limping; maybe he was hurt worse than I'd originally thought.

"Where are you hurt big guy?" I asked, leaning to the side to see his underbelly. "You are a guy, right?"

As he snorted above me I caught a glance of his anatomy and it was pretty obvious that he was, indeed, a male. I stood up and blushed, but he wasn't looking at me anymore, his head was turned toward the forest. I caught a brief glimpse at the guy that was stood just up the hill from where we were, but before I could check him out any further the wolf placed himself between us, his ears lying flat against his head as a deep guttural growl emitted from him, making his whole body vibrate.

From my position I could see his huge canines bared at the figure that was out of view. Saliva seemed to make the teeth glisten with threat and I couldn't help but take a deep breath. I found that for the first time since the wolf had revealed himself that I was scared. He was so big, that if he decided to turn on me I wouldn't have a chance in hell at surviving the attack. Another wave of growls came out of his mouth garbled and aggressive and I couldn't help the squeak of fear that escaped me.

As soon as I'd emitted the noise, his shoulders relaxed and he turned his head to me once again. His tongue lolled from his huge mouth as though he were trying to help me relax around him. He was the most curious creature. I leaned to the side and looked up the hill to where the guy had been stood before he'd taken off. I couldn't blame him. Had that aggression been aimed at me I would have made a run for it too.

I just couldn't understand how he'd escaped so quickly, I would have seen him running in any direction he would have taken, but there was nothing, not even a shaking leaf to signify his exit. Being so caught up in my own head I'd missed the movement of the wolf until it was too late and I was being bathed by his huge rough tongue. Without understanding how, I knew that he was yet again trying to calm me in his presence. The feel of his tongue against me made me giggle, and I couldn't stop myself from reaching out to him.

I moved cautiously, stretching my hand out surprise by the steadiness of it as I finally let my fingers tangle into the fur of his cheek. It was just as soft as it looked and I could feel the thick undercoat beneath the softy downy fur. He truly was an amazing creature, and being stood as close as I was now, I noticed his eyes for the first time. They were so familiar, yet I couldn't place them. They eased me and held me captive as though they could see into my very soul.

"Your eyes," I whispered, but I was silenced by another rumble of his chest that resembled more of a purr than a growl. It was yet another thing that eased me with him. He made me feel safe, and I couldn't explain why. By all accounts I should be terrified and running in the opposite direction, but instead I was stood next to him, fighting the urge to bury my face into the fur that was attached to those huge canines.

With a great huff he lowered himself to the ground and I found myself following him, my side aligning with the bracken on the floor of the forest as I continued my gentle scratch into the depths of his silver coat. My eyes on his as he watched me with fascination. It was so easy and right being with him in nature like this. I doubted anyone would ever believe me, and I wasn't going to risk him being hunted so I knew I had to keep this to myself.

As the sun cast a deep red behind the gray of the constant cloud cover, I knew my time was limited. I wanted to lie against him and bury my face in his warm fur and inhale the natural musk of him. It was such a magical moment that may never be repeated so I wanted to enjoy as much of it as I could.

"Bella, I ordered pizza, Kid. You got five minutes."

Sadness seemed to fill me when I though of leaving him. Especially when he was as hurt as he was. I climbed to my knees and stood up, watching him for as long as I could before I absolutely had to leave. With one last glance, I turned and ran back to the house and my normal world, which would never compare to the time I had spend in silence beside that wolf.

I ate dinner, but I couldn't stand staying in the house for another minute. I picked up my keys and told Charlie I was going to see Jacob. I knew I couldn't tell him about the amazing experience I'd had, but I knew he could distract me. He was quickly becoming one of my best friends, and if I'd ever needed that, it was now.

He wasn't there when I got to the house, but Billy assured me he wouldn't be long. I didn't want to impose on Billy who was sat in his wheelchair watching the weeks sporting highlights so I stepped out onto the small porch and breathed in the ocean air.

When I opened my eyes all I could see was Paul. I could hear Jacob calling my name and I was aware of him running toward me but I couldn't drag my eyes from the man walking past me.

"Hi, Paul," I offered, worrying my bottom lip as I steeled myself for his rejection.

As I'd assumed he didn't say a word and get walking until he punched the door of his shack out of his way and threw it back into place.

"Don't take it personally, he's just weird around new people."

I nodded and looked at Jacob, finally feeling a faint bite of the loneliness that had consumed me all week.

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><p><strong>Nostalgicmiss: <strong>Poor Bella has no clue what's going on, and no one seems to want to clue her in! Thank all of you guys for reading, favorite-ing and alerting, it means so much to the two of us. I would also like to thank you for the wonderful reviews we get from you guys. Every one of you is amazing and your support is very much appreciated. Last, but certainly not least, thank you to the most amazing BFF a girl could ask for! It's an honor writing with you, and I am even more honored to call you my BFF! *Smooshes*

**Sabi'sSookie: Oh, how I love your Bella, bestie! And writing with you is always amazing! Then again you are amazing and you are the best friend a girl could have! *Tackle Smoosh* Isn't she awesome guys! And so is her Bella! Poor thing… she has no clue! And I want to second Nostalgicmiss on her thanks to all of you! You are all amazing, and RL is busy so if I didn't get to respond to your review know that I read and loved every one! Half naked Paul's for everyone!**


	4. Chapter 4 Paul

**All recognizable names are the property of Stephenie Meyer. We just like playing dress up in her shoes.**

**This story is not suitable for those under the age of 18. It is rated M, so if you're not old enough to buy a pack of smokes… we don't wanna know!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3 - Paul<br>**

_Everyone's looking at me  
>I'm running around in circles, baby<br>A quiet desperation's building higher  
>I've got to remember this is just a game<em>  
><strong>A Beautiful Lie by 30 Seconds to Mars<strong>

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><p>Seeing her was almost too much to handle, especially after coming off the meeting with the bloodsucker that wanted my girl. And the way she looked at me… Like she was looking right through me. Like she saw everything I fought so hard to keep hidden. The longing was plainly written on her beautiful face and it caused me physical pain not to go to her. Did she feel the pull? Did she think about me? My question was answered when there was a quiet knock on the door of my little shack.<p>

"Yeah!" I yelled, but no one entered. I wasn't in the mood for company, and the lack of answer only served to annoy me further.

"Come in!" I tried again and her scent rolled into the room, hitting me like a tidal wave and making me sit ramrod straight, my ribs protesting the movement.

"Billy said you didn't have dinner." Her voice was soft and timid; her eyes were trained on the ground before her. Her nervousness made her scent change, almost made it sweeter, like an over-ripened peach.

_Look at me!_ I mentally shouted and as if she heard my mental plea her head snapped up and her eyes met mine.

_Beautiful_.

I have no idea how long we just stood and stared at one another. My fingers twitched with the desire to touch her and if the look in her eyes was any indication, she was feeling the same way. I longed for her touch as much as I longed for her to keep her distance. My self-preservation skills were warring with my need for her and the pull of the imprint. Giving yourself over to someone, mind, body, and soul, never did anyone any good, and I wouldn't force either of us to suffer that fate.

Bella's breathing picked up under my critical stare. Her chest heaved as she searched my face for the reason for what she was feeling. I could see the conflict and wonder in her large doe eyes. They asked the question only I had the answer to. In that moment I knew she felt it. She felt it all.

"Paul," she whispered, my name more of a question.

"You should go." The words tasted like battery acid on my tongue. The wolf clawed and fought to get out, but I had to keep my distance. She deserved better than me, and I would not ruin her life by forcing her to be tied to me. There had to be a way around it, for her sake. For Charlie's sake as well. He knows about the darkness that lurks just below the surface of my scarred skin. The demons that keep me awake at night. The reason I'll never let myself love. That I'll never let anyone love me.

Once again, my girl surprised me out of my self-loathing. Her frail fingers gently traced the numerous criss-crossing scars on my chest and I sucked in a deep breath. Her touch was feather-light and ever so gentle, as if she thought I would break. Gentle touches weren't something I was accustomed to and I closed my eyes, giving myself a moment of pleasure.

"Who did this to you?" When I didn't answer she kept reverently touching me until I thought I would explode with the pure need that she was causing in me. I took her hands in my calloused ones and pulled them away from me.

"Paul, what is this?" She asked, her eyes swirling with questions that I would not answer. She wanted to know why she felt the undeniable pull to such a monster of a man. A scarred freak.

"You have to go." She didn't budge. "NOW!" I yelled, ignoring the pain it caused in my chest, and turned my back to her. I couldn't see the look of hurt that would undoubtedly be on her porcelain face. It would cripple me, but hurting her now to save her was better than the hurt I would cause if she were to get closer. If I were to love her.

I heard a small whimper and then the soft clicking sound of the door closing behind her. When I was certain that she was gone I immediately ran out the door and shifted to the wolf. He had been writhing and clawing to get out and letting him free was like lifting a weight off my shoulders. From the edge of the woods I followed her as she drove home. And as soon as she got out of her truck she ran directly into the house. I could hear her heavy breathing and Charlie's questions about what was wrong. I tried to tune out her tear filled answers. I had hurt her feelings and it almost killed me. The low whine that escaped my chest threatened to turn into a full howl, but I somehow kept myself in check.

"You're a real Casanova, aren't ya?" The scarred leech drawled out his question, but there was no trace of teasing on his face, only pity. I let out a growl and bared my teeth, warning him away, but he stayed where he was, casually leaned against a tree.

"You know, mating is much the same for vampires. If you try to ignore it you're going to continue to hurt both of ya'. You wanna' know what she's feelin'?" I shook my head no, because I didn't need him to tell me. I knew what I had done to her. What I would continue to do to her until she was free of this curse.

"You can't outrun this. It won't go away." My lips pulled back from my teeth in warning. I knew that for me the curse was permanent, I didn't need a reminder from him. But I could spare her, and that's what I would do.

"Now, I know you don't like my kind; to tell the truth, I don't blame you. We are monsters, but the Cullens… they try. If you don't want her, why don't you just let her go?" My growling increased and he smirked, knowing damn good and well I would never allow that. His leech coven could have her over my dead body.

"Can't do that can ya'? You'll never be able to let her go." He removed his shirt showing me the scars that riddled his entire body. One on top of the other. Bite marks from his own kind. I had no idea what the fuck he expected to accomplish by undressing and took a step back. I wasn't in the mood for any funny business.

"When I met my Alice," he began, "she was just this tiny force of nature; still is. I had lived an existence of war and blood and I in no way deserved her. She was pure and full of light and I was," he indicated to his scars, "_this_."

"But she didn't give up on me and I just couldn't tell her no. To anythin'. Over the years I've done everythin' possible to deserve her, and the truth is that I never will. She's light where I'm dark. She's good where I'm evil. But I won't ever stop 'cause my little angel deserves exactly what she wants and for some reason, she wants me."

His words hit home, and I had absolutely no idea why on earth he would try to help me. Didn't his ginger coven-member want her for himself? We were mortal enemies, yet I saw a kindred soul of sorts. We were both scarred, inside and out by our pasts.

"I'm tellin' ya' all this because I see so much of myself in you. Those scars you wear ain't just on the outside son, and that girl in there can heal the ones ya' can't see with your eyes. The scars on the outside will always be a reminder of what ya' were. You'll never forget, but ya' can move on."

I snorted, and hated the fact that his words made me dare to hope. I knew better. I had seen first hand what love could do to a man. How it turned him into a monster. I was already a monster so I couldn't imagine what it would do to me, and in turn to the people I cared about.

"Now, I'm gonna' get my ass beat by ma' wife. See, she has visions and she seems to believe that you're girl in there is meant for her brother, Edward." I growled loudly and he chuckled, not showing the slightest bit of fear. "But if this imprintin' thing is anythin' like matin' for us, then there ain't no way she's for Edward. But it don't mean he ain't gonna' try. Just a piece of advice from one underservin' monster to another." He winked and in a flash he was gone.

Hope bloomed in my chest and as much as his scent brought on the desire to rip him apart, he could relate to me. For the first time as long as I could remember it seemed that there was someone who understood me and all my fucked up issues. His scars were like a road map of his life that led him to his mate who saved him. Could Bella save me? Could I really let her obligate herself to do it? If nothing else, he had given me someone to relate to, although his scars made mine look like a paper cut. If a demon like him could change and have a better life did that mean there was hope for me?

Possibly, but that didn't mean I wanted to drag my imprint down the long and dark road it would take to get me there. She was so hopelessly pure and I had no doubt that she would accept me just as her father had, but it wasn't right to put her in that position. There was nothing in me good enough to deserve someone like her. Someone who was so innocent to all the terrible things in the world. Sure, she had heard, but never had she been forced to face the demons that existed. Demons like me.

The sound of footsteps alerted me to her approach and I huffed, not ready to deal with her. Although I knew she would touch me in this form and I could allow it because she had no idea it was me. Still, her presence caused contradicting feelings in me. I had come to realize that was the norm for being around her. The wolf was the one to make up my mind for me, planting my feet firmly in place.

"Hey," her tear-stained face was almost too much to bear and I let out a long whine and licked her salty cheeks.

"You know, how sad is it that my first kiss is a lick from a wolf?" She giggled and sniffled at the same time.

She had never been kissed? Shit, she was more innocent than I had previously thought. Damn, I would ruin her. Any thought I had of giving in to the imprint flew out the window. I wouldn't even know what to do with someone with that little experience. If you looked up the definition of manwhore in the dictionary there would be a picture of me. I couldn't infect her with my poison. She deserved someone more like Jake. I shuddered at the mere thought of her with anyone else, but he wasn't much more experienced than she was. He had kissed a girl or two, but hadn't done much more. And he was a good kid. Always had a damn smile on his face no matter what life threw at him. When he turned into a wolf he treated it like a game, not the curse that it was. I imprinted on the girl he had a crush on forever? He shrugs and asks what he can do about it. Nothing got to him, and he could make her happy, as well as protecting her.

I laid on the ground with an exaggerated huff and Bella laid down with me. Her sniffling picked up a little and I whined to ask her what was wrong even though I knew exactly what had happened to upset her.

She sighed heavily and started talking.

"There's this guy. And something about him just makes me… I just want to be near him. And he looks so beat down. I want to hold him, but he hates me." A sob broke free from her chest and my heart broke. She thought that I hated her. I was a monster. But how could I show her that I didn't hate her without actually letting her get close? I didn't know, so my brilliant mind decided the solution would be to continue avoiding her.

"I can't believe I'm talking to a wolf who probably doesn't even understand me. Pathetic, Bella."

"_Paul, stop this. You're just hurting the both of you."_ Once again Jake was in my fucking head.

"_Jake, I'm doing this _for_ her! I think she needs someone, though. I can't be there, but you could. Just be there for her, please."_

Jake didn't say anymore, and I really couldn't take her being that close to me in that moment. I nudged her and she sat up. I took the advantage and stood before giving her a final lick and running away.

Jake must have gotten Sam because he appeared in my head and tried again to reason with me, but I just couldn't listen anymore. I ran the rest of the way to my destination as a human. I had to go to my fuck buddy. The one person that hated the idea of love just as much as me. Leah.

She was waiting on the front porch of my shack. Someone must have filled her in because the second I reached her she dragged me inside and removed her clothes. The wolf rebelled but I fought him down. I needed her touch to remind me just who and what I was. She smelled all wrong and her touch didn't bring me the pleasure it did before. I had seen through her thoughts that she pictured me as Sam, so I decided to do the same. In my mind I she shrank about six inches and her short hair was transformed from black to brown and flowed to the middle of her back. The tan skin beneath me turned to a pale porcelain and when she sank down on me it was Bella's warmth wrapped around my throbbing dick.

Neither of us talked or made a sound, not wanting to ruin the pretend world we were living in. If we couldn't be with the ones we loved, this pretending was the best we could do.

I imagined smaller breasts as I palmed Leah's generous ones. And heard soft breathy moans that I imagined Bella would make.

"Fuck me," Leah whispered as quietly as possible, making her voice indistinguishable.

Immediately I flipped us over and put her on her knees before me. I pushed my way inside her with a grunt and ran my hands over the swell of her ass and the sound of the slap I placed rang through the room. I was punishing her for not being Bella and I felt my erection begin to deflate. I immediately pictured Bella's ass, pink from the imprint of my hand. My dick was rock-hard again and I thrust in and out of her at an almost painfully hard pace.

Leah looked over her shoulder at me and I pictured Bella's plump lips parted in pleasure. My stomach coiled tightly as I pumped into her impossibly harder. Her walls clamped around me as she came with a muffled cry.

"Shit, fuuuuuuck!" I came hard and bit my tongue to stop from crying out Bella's name. We had learned long ago that Leah could not conceive due to her phasing and it felt good to fuck with no barriers, so she and I had decided fucking was a great solution to our anger and pain. Up until the imprint it had worked for me, but instead I was left feeling sick to my stomach. I had to fight the urge to tell Leah to get the fuck out of my house, but I reminded myself that it wasn't her fault.

"You thought of her, didn't you?" She asked, no anger or hurt evident in her voice. It wasn't about feelings with us, it was about release.

"Yeah. You think about him?"

"Yep," she answered, popping the p sarcastically.

"Imprinting fucking sucks," she spat and I nodded my agreement, only it didn't suck for me. It sucked for the girl who would be stuck with me if I didn't do something to stop it.

"Is it hard?" She asked, her voice much smaller. I looked at her in question.

"Fighting the imprint," She elaborated.

"He fought it, Lee. He tried so hard, but the imprint… it's too strong."

"Well, you just fucked me. You're not running to Bella Swan, you ran to me." Her voice took on the hard tone that everyone had become so accustomed to.

"Lee, you don't care about me, so don't act like this is about a choice between her and you." I kept my tone soft because I knew she was just hurting about Sam and Bella represented Sam choosing Emily over her because of the imprint.

"I just want to be chosen first. I don't really care by who." And there was the truth of the matter.

"Lee Lee, it will happen one day. There will be a guy that looks at you and sees you. He won't want anyone else because he will be made just for you. And unlike me, you deserve that, so don't hold back when it happens."

"Who are you and what have you done with Paul?" We both chuckled. "I think this Bella Swan chick may be good for you, but until you come to your senses we can fuck like rabbits, right?"

"Sure Lee, why the fuck not?" She laughed and straddled my lap.

"So this is what you're doing with your time while my daughter is suffering?" The voice startled us both and Leah worked at top speed to cover herself.

"Fuck," I breathed out as I took in a rather pissed off Charlie Swan.

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><p><strong>Sabi'sSookie: First of all I want to thank you guys that reviewed, alerted, favorite, or just read. It seems like we are all on the same wavelength with kicking Paul's ass and loving Bella! But Nostalgicmiss makes Bella hard not to love, right? She is amazing to work with and the best BFF a girl could ask for! I heart you loads, hunnie!<strong>

**Nostalgicmiss:** I love Paul! I really do, and I can't help feeling like there's a need for dramabutton(dot)com with Charlie just showing up. ;) Thank all of you for your wonderful responses to the story so far. All of you are amazing and we love you guys for all your support. I just want to say that writing with Sabi is always such a pleasure. She's not just an awesome co-writer, but an amazing BFF as well! Love you chick! **  
><strong>


	5. Chapter 5 Bella

**All recognizable names are the property of Stephenie Meyer. We just like playing dress up in her shoes.**

**This story is not suitable for those under the age of 18. It is rated M, so if you're not old enough to buy a pack of smokes… we don't wanna know!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3 - Bella<strong>

_I waited for You today  
>But You didn't show<br>No no no  
>I needed You today<br>So where did You go?  
><strong>Never Alone by BarlowGirl<strong>_

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><p>I was sat in the Black's kitchen, almost motionless, as the world seemed to go on around me. Jacob tried to cheer me up, but Paul's rejection had stung more than I'd thought was possible. I didn't know him, yet him ignoring me only seemed to push me deeper into the funk that had been plaguing me all week.<p>

I hated that I felt this way about someone who seemed to loathe the fact that I existed. For a brief moment I wondered why it couldn't have been Jacob I had connected with like this. He was happy, he made me smile and he genuinely seemed to like me.

In a brief moment of weakness, I wondered whether I had an attraction to Paul because he was unattainable. Could I honestly say that if Jacob hadn't been interested that I would feel the same way? It was doubtful, I was so set on being alone that I had developed a crush on someone who seemed to think I was invisible.

I was aware that the conversation had turned and that both Jacob and Billy seemed to be waiting for a response from me. I'd probably long passed the point of being slow and was sliding into the falling on deaf ears category, but it hadn't been intentional.

"What was the question?" I asked with a sigh.

Jacob chuckled in his normal good-natured way, his hand reaching out and rubbing the top of my hair making it all static and stand on end. I slapped away his arm and forced a grin as I rolled my eyes.

"Sorry, I'm miles away."

Both of them looked at me with understanding smiles. They seemed to be clued into why I was so distant even if I didn't have a clue. I was starting to think it was just the way they operated.

"I was saying that Jacob has to leave and I know that Paul hasn't eaten all day." Billy chuckled." I was wondering whether you minded taking his plate over to him, the terrains rough on the old wheels and I'd end up spilling it."

"Oh," I said, my heart galloping gently in my chest at the thought of seeing _him_ again. Even if he answered the door, took the plate and slammed it in my face again. My pathetic brain seemed more than happy with it. "Sure, Billy. I have to head out anyway, I'll drop it over there before I leave."

"You're a good girl, Bella," he said, smiling conspiratorially at Jacob. Jacob responded with a roll of his eyes and a shrug that said he wasn't sure what was going on. I looked between them both, and wondered if this was a plan to force Paul to have some form of interaction with me. If they were taking pity on me, I would take it. It was a sad testament to the slightly odd need I had to be close to Paul, but at this point I wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"Let me get it for you," Billy said, pushing his wheelchair back from the table. I reached out and grabbed the arm stopping him. I knew he liked to do things on his own to prove he was still able to do it, but it was pointless considering I had to get up anyway.

"I'll get it. Point me in the right direction."

"In the oven, take one of the dish towels from under the sink, the plate will be hot. I don't want the chief after me for scarring his daughter."

"Come on, Billy," I laughed getting up. "You should know that he's well aware of my propensity to create accidents all on my own."

I reached out to ruffle Jacob's hair as I passed him on my way to the oven. He ducked out of my reach and swatted at me as he got up from the chair he'd been occupying.

"I have to go or I'll be late. I'll see you tomorrow, Bella."

"Sure thing, Jake."

The slap of the screen door signified he'd left before I could say another word. By the time I'd straightened up with the plate in my hand, Billy had moved to the living room with remote in hand.

"Enjoy sports center, Billy. I'll see you tomorrow after school."

"Thanks again, Bella," he said with a wave over his shoulder.

With a sense of being dismissed, I backed into the screen and out into the cool evening air. I headed toward the lights of the shack that I could probably draw from memory, I was proud of myself for stumbling only once on my way over there, and but the time I was at the front door my heart was in my throat, beating wildly out of control.

It was ridiculous that I was so excited to see a relative stranger, but there I was stood outside the door trying to calm down the racing of my pulse so I wouldn't look like a complete idiot.

Raising my hand, I knocked on the door, cringing as some of the peeling paint fell loose with the action. It would be just like me to break the door and make an ass out of myself.

"Yeah." Came the reply. It was the first time I'd heard his voice without an expletive mixed in.

I stood nervously and waited for him to open the door. I felt like an idiot for not saying anything, but what was I supposed to do? Shout meals on wheels? Knock and run?

"Come in!" he shouted again. Steeling myself for a hostile reception, I reached for the door and pushed it open, careful not to look up at him. As small as it was I couldn't imagine he'd be in another room.

"Billy said you didn't have dinner," I said, shuffling the plate from one hand to another and back again when I realized how hot the plate was. My natural instinct was to look at him, and I fought it as much as I could, but it was impossible, and I found myself raising my eyes to meet his.

I shamelessly drowned in the pools of his eyes, falling deeper and deeper with a resounding sense of comfort as I did. I felt grounded for the first time in days and didn't dare move in fear I would break this connection between us. Even at this distance I could see the deep brown of his eyes, and the way they flecked to a hazel green just around the iris, they were full of pain and unspoken words that I longed for him to utter, but instinctively knew he never would.

I couldn't control my breaths as his eyes let off a sense of longing that I myself seemed to feel. My chest rose and fell with the motion until the noise seemed to be the only thing filling the room.

"Paul," I whispered, taking a chance that he would be at least a little more receptive, but as soon as the words left my lips, he broke the connection and his eyes became distant and disconnected.

"You should go," he said, turning his head and breaking my connection with me completely. I shamelessly stared at his chest as a gentle tremor ran through his body.

Before I'd even realized I'd moved, I had the plate discarded on the rickety table by the couch, and was stood in front of him, my hand outstretched, and tracing the scars that lay across his chest. I hated how I lost control of my body around him, yet I couldn't deny the peace that filled me because of our connection through flesh.

As I traced the scars it was almost as though I could feel his pain from each of the healed incisions. I hated that someone had done this to him, that he'd been a victim of so much hate. I had an overwhelming need to make it all better, but I wasn't sure how to do that without knowing the why of it.

"Who did this to you?" I asked quietly, my fingers moving over the raised skin as I fought the need to close my eyes and memorize the hatch like lines marring his soft skin. I tried to be gentle in my movements, hoping not to break this moment between us.

Paul moved quickly, the rough skin of his fingers tickling my own as he removed them from his chest. Yet he didn't drop them, he just kept a hold of them, watching me with an expression that I could only place as pain. It broke my heart to see so much conflict behind such young eyes, and I wanted nothing more than to help. Whatever this was that brewed between us like a tempest, had to have a name, and if I couldn't place it, I at least hoped he could.

"Paul, what is this?" I asked, not missing the slight pleading that laced my tone. I watched his eyes looking for an answer, but one never came. Instead all I received was another request, much the same as his first.

"You have to go," he said dropping my hand and taking two steps back. His eyes hardened and I knew I'd lost him. So I wasn't surprised when his command came out in a growl. "NOW!"

He turned away from me and I was left with the view of his ribs pressing against the skin of his back. I swallowed the sob, enough to mask it, and fled from the small shack. Not stopping as I slid to the damp ground outside the house, or as the wheels spun in the dirt as I gunned my truck. When I finally hit the highway the tears I had been holding in were released and slid down my face leaving warm tracks on my cold cheeks. I slammed the steering wheel with an open palm as I drove. I wished I'd never moved here, that I'd never met Paul and most of all that I never felt this way.

I didn't want to feel this way about him because it was pointless. He hated me; he couldn't even stand being in the same room as me. I was nothing but a nuisance to him, I was his kid brother's annoying friend that he seemed to find offensive.

I didn't think I'd done anything to warrant him shouting at me. Okay, so maybe I had been a little reluctant to leave, but it wasn't a difficult question to answer. He could have said there's nothing going on and I would have nodded and left, happy at least knowing it was all one sided.

Yet it didn't feel that way. There was pull there and I could feel it, and the way he looked at me when I caught him off guard, I knew he felt it too. I could see it in his eyes like an echo of how I felt, the need, the ache, and the belief that it was right, pure. When he let his guard down I could feel that peace of finally being whole again. When I finally got home, I slammed the truck door and the front door without really meaning to, and all it did was alert Charlie to the fact there was something wrong.

"Easy there, kiddo, I don't want to spend my day off replacing hinges and door frames. You wanna talk about it?"

I wanted to say no and disappear into my room and shut out the world, but his concern brought on another round of tears that only served to make him shift uncomfortably in his recliner. He sat up and the mechanics of the chair snapped into place.

"I know I'm not as good as your mom, sweetheart, but you can talk to me."

"I hate this feeling. I'm so hollow and empty," I cried through the tears. "Nothing makes it go away. I just want to feel normal again. I miss being whole."

Charlie watched me as though completely perplexed by my words. Yet there was an understanding lingering behind his eyes that told me he knew what I was talking about.

"Paul?" he asked, stepping toward me and awkwardly patting me on the shoulder.

"How?"

"Billy," he said, simply. "The guy doesn't miss a trick. He has an uncanny knack of seeing things you'd rather no one else know."

I should have known. Billy truly did see things most people missed, and it explained the reason he'd asked me to take the plate to Paul.

"It doesn't matter, dad. You've got nothing to worry about, he's made it perfectly clear he's not interested."

"Bella, I . . ." he stopped as though unclear on how to continue.

"It's okay, I'm just gonna go for a walk, clear my head."

"It's dark out there, kid. You sure it's the best idea?"

"I won't go far, I promise. I just . . . I need to clear my head. I feel so trapped in my own skin right now and I don't know how to fix it."

Charlie nodded and sighed. His eyes said one thing and his body language another. He really did seem to understand. Maybe this was what he'd gone through with mom.

I moved to the front door and knew exactly where I was headed. I knew it was a long shot but I had to see if my wolf had come back again. Other than Paul he was the only thing that seemed to bring peace to me.

I wandered along the dark tree line and slid into the path, only taking two steps before I felt the pull. I let it lead me a little deeper into the trees and I almost cried when I saw the wolf stood just inside the safety of the tree line.

"Hey," I offered, stepping closer and welcoming the friendly lick that seemed to serve as his greeting. He swiped the stain of the tears on my cheeks as though attempting to erase my sadness, and I welcomed that calm that settled in me.

"You know, how sad is it that my first kiss is a lick from a wolf?" I half laughed and half cried, feeling ridiculous about being stood out here and talking to this beautiful animal. It wasn't as though he could answer back, but I had a sense that he was far more intelligent than I gave him credit for.

With a huff, he lowered himself to the ground and arranged himself so I could lean against him. His fur cradling me and easing me of some of the pain and sense of loss I couldn't seem to control.

He whined gently, the noise causing a gentle vibration that worked through me and calmed down the hammering in my heart. He may not be able to answer, but he at least seemed willing to listen.

"There's this guy," I started, letting my fingers curl into his coat, they pushed past the thick undercoat to his warm skin and I scratched gently. "And something about him makes me . . . I just want to be near him. And he looks so beat down. I want to hold him, but he hates me."

I started sobbing again, my chest rising and falling with the ache that was caused by dragging in the painful breaths. The wolf huffed a breath that made me rise and fall against him and it helped curb the need to cry. As I sniffed and regained composure, I rolled my eyes at myself.

"I can't believe I'm talking to a wolf who probably doesn't even understand me. Pathetic, Bella."

The wolf lay in relative silence, his ears pricked as though he were listening to something that was beyond my ability to hear. He nudged me gently and I sat forward, immediately missing his heat as he stood up.

He gave me one lick before gracefully loping into the forest and disappearing into the thicket of the trees. I shivered and pulled my arms around myself feeling lonelier than I had ever felt. I'd even scared the wolf away with my pathetic blubbering. I'd never been this emotional in my life.

Giving up, I pushed to my feet and stumbled through the dark to the house that was the only beacon of light. Pushing open the door, I almost walked into Charlie who seemed to be impatiently waiting for my return.

"Bells," he said softly, but I wasn't in the mood to chase him away with my uncharacteristic bawling jags.

"I'm going to bed."

"Okay, I have to run down to the station for a bit, but I'll lock you in. Try and get some sleep."

I nodded and pulled off my jacket, slinging it on the hook as I dragged my exhausted self to the stair and climbed them on my numb legs. I was so tired of feeling like this. I really needed to grow a backbone and move on with my life. I wasn't the stalking type, and it would do no good to keep following Paul around as though he were the answer to this ridiculous question.

I brushed my teeth and climbed into bed, tossing and turning through my fatigue. I'd been hoping that the mental exhaustion would send me into a peaceful repose, but it I was out of what little luck I had.

I lay in bed and watched the shadows move with the gentle whistle of the wind that managed to sneak through the small cracks into the window. I decided I would do better in the morning, I wasn't going to mull around any more. I was going to live, and I was going to have fun. I'd lasted this long on my own; I could keep doing what I'd been doing and succeed.

As I drifted off into a deep sleep, there was no sign of the endless circle and wandering that I had been suffering all week. Instead, the nothing became a someone, Paul to be exact.

As I'd said to the wolf, I'd never been kissed before, so I hadn't exactly expected much from my imagination. Yet, that didn't seem to matter. As I reached out and traced the scar that still lingered in my mind, Paul tipped his head to the side, his eyelashes dusting his cheek as he emitted a hum of pleasure. He whispered my name before his lips brushed against mine.

It was soft and brief, but it felt right. My body exploded into a thousand points of light as my arms circled his neck and fingered the hair on the nape of his neck. Becoming greedy I used it as leverage to pull him closer, and deeper until by body rubbed against his.

I moaned gently, but when I pulled back to look at him, his eyes were cold and vacant. I stroked his cheek, but only received a growl in response. The reaction made me shiver, but I continued trying to bring him around.

"Leave," he begged, shivering against me. You have to leave."

"No. I can't."

"Leave, NOW!" As soon at the words left his mouth the wolf replaced him in front of me, but it wasn't the beautiful animal from the woods, instead its ears were flat on it's head and it's fangs bared, saliva dripping from the points.

I woke up screaming, my body damp with sweat as my breath came in pants. Before I could lean to click on my lamp, the hall light came on and Charlie burst through the door holding a shotgun cocked in the junction where arm meets shoulder.

"Bella?"

"Nightmare," I panted, curling up by the headboard, terrified by the fierceness on my fathers face. "Just a nightmare."

Charlie dropped the gun to his side and uncocked it. I wasn't sure how I knew, but it was as though he expected something to be in my room, and I wasn't sure if I should be scared or not. What did he expect to find in my room? And why would it warrant a shotgun?

"You scared me."

"I scared you?" I said, eyeing the gun again.

"Oh right, well we live on the edge of the forest, for all I knew it could have been a bear."

"In my _room_?"

Charlie shrugged his shoulders and checked all the windows before he bid me goodnight and backed out of the room and closing the door behind him. Well, when my mom finally decided to call, at least I could say there was never a dull moment.

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><p><strong>Nostalgicmiss: <strong>Poor Bella. She's so confused by the mixed signals and it's really messing her up. The poor thing wants her life back but this draw to Paul is all consuming. I would just like to thank all of you for reading and for letting us know what you think. I would also like to thank Sabi for being an amazing best friend, and for letting me write with her. I love you BFF!

**Sabi'sSookie: Bella is definitely confused and I know you guys are all still wanting to kick Paul in the balls! He totally deserves it, but I apologize… you must wait until Tuesday to find out his fate! *****evil smirk* I second my BFFs sentiments to you all! You are awesome! We love this story, so we appreciate everything you guys have to say! Shirtless Paul's and Jasper's for you all! Don't I wish! And I have to thank my BFF, my partner in crime, and genius, Nostalgicmiss! Without you, hunnie, I would have given up long ago on this whole writing thing! Big smooshes to you! And lots of love!**


	6. Chapter 6 Paul

**All recognizable names are the property of Stephenie Meyer. We just like playing dress up in her shoes.**

**This story is not suitable for those under the age of 18. It is rated M, so if you're not old enough to buy a pack of smokes… we don't wanna know!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4 - Paul<br>**

_Caught up, in life  
>Losing all my friends<br>Family has tried, to heal all my addictions  
>Tragic it seems, to be alone again<br>I'm giving in to you_  
><strong>Giving In by Adema<strong>

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><p>"Charlie," I started and he threw a pear of sweat pants at me before I could continue.<p>

"How 'bout you put your used up dick in your pants before you talk to me, huh?" I cringed at his words. Charlie had never been angry with me. He had always just talked to me about my bad behavior. I guess that changed when he saw me as belonging to his daughter.

I knew that Billy would tell him about the imprint and I expected this visit, but I didn't expect to have just been balls deep in another chick when he showed up. I quickly put the pants on about the time Leah reminded us that she was there.

"And you… Leah, I know that Sam hurt you, but really? Do you replay your time with Paul over and over in your head just to hurt Sam, because I'm sure it does. Imprinting didn't make him stop loving you, it just made him love her more. Now go on home before I tell your mother about this insane behavior." She left the house so fast her feet didn't make a sound as she ran away.

Charlie was a man of very few words, so when he spoke you listened. That was evident in the way Leah just left me there to fend for myself. That bitch wasn't afraid of anything and she was quick to tell someone where to shove it if they called her out on her shit, but Charlie was just one of those men you didn't talk back to. I really worried for the fate of my dick in that moment. Charlie stood in silence as he stared me down, his mustache occasionally twitching in anger. I was a dead man, and even if he kicked my ass, I would never fight back. Not to Charlie. Plus, I deserved whatever he had to throw at me.

"You think you're the only one affected by this imprinting shit? My poor daughter doesn't know which way is up she's so confused, and who does she have to talk to about it? Her mother is so busy with her new life that she hasn't even bothered to call her, and she would rather die than have the boy talk with me. At least you have a pack that knows what's going on. And apparently a girl to fall back on when you're feeling _lonely_." He spat the last word, making me flinch.

Shame washed over me. I was letting down one of the two men who had ever meant anything to me. And I was hurting a girl who had no idea what she was feeling or why. I knew she felt the pull; it was evident in the way she looked at me. But at least I had a whole pack that understood what the fuck imprinting was. I could bitch and complain and they would listen. Who the fuck did my angel have? She had Charlie, but he was right, I barely knew her and I knew that she would never talk to him about shit like that.

"Don't you see?" I screamed as I stood up to pace. "I don't deserve someone like her! Look at me! I am a mangled version of a man! I have a horrible temper, and I will screw anything with a pussy! I will ruin everything that is good about her! And you know it, Charlie!"

I could see the anger fade from his face. I knew it was far from over, and he would have plenty to say about what he had seen with me and Leah, but in that moment he was just Charlie, the man who had been there for me, who had done his best to save me.

"Sit down, son." Charlie patted my shoulder and led me to the couch. "I know more about you and your past than anyone, and I'm not blind enough not to see what you've done to yourself because of it. But you're not a bad person and there wasn't a damn thing you could have done to stop what was happening to you. You were a fucking kid! But it's time to let that shit go, son. What my daughter deserves is a man who can take care of her. That man is you, whether you like it or not. No normal guy can protect her form the dangers that we both know exist in this world."

"Yeah, well, who's gonna' protect her from me?" I raised an eyebrow, believing my point to be made.

"Look, I don't know anything about this imprinting shit other than what I've heard from Billy, but I do know that you wouldn't have imprinted on her if you couldn't protect her. Even from yourself." For the first time since I was a small boy I wanted to cry. Charlie's words hit me like a wrecking ball. He trusted me with his daughter, his only child, knowing what he knew about me.

"Hey, I'm sort of out of my element here too. I've never really gotten the chance to be a dad so who the hell knows if I'm doing it right." He shrugged and looked at his feet, looking so much like his daughter in that moment.

What I wanted to say is that he had always been a dad to me. The only real dad I had ever known. Sure, Billy took me in when the council decided I had to remain on the Res, but Charlie was the one who spent time with me. He taught me to fish, and how to shoot a gun. He taught me that real men didn't use their fists to make a point, especially on women or kids. He taught me that there was more to life than the hand that had been dealt to me. What I said instead paled in comparison to what I really felt for the man before me.

"Charlie, you'll do fine." Yeah, he also taught me how NOT to express myself. Charlie wasn't so good with feelings. He looked at me and his stache twitched as he smiled. I hoped he knew what I was saying without me actually having to say it. By the grin he was sporting and the rough pat on the back, I assumed he did.

"You're a good kid, Paul. I'd be proud to call you my son." He cleared his throat and actually fucking blushed but I pretended not to notice. I smiled, thinking I had gotten off easy.

"Now, having said that, what I really want to do right now is kick your ass for making my little girl cry, then using another to get your jollies. All these other girls you've fucked with have known up front what you wanted from them. I didn't like it, but there wasn't shit I could do. Leah? She's been put through the ringer and using you to escape her issues ain't helping her… or you. Leah was a spoiled child, and I know better than anyone what a broken heart can do to you, but at some point she has to just let that shit go and move on. And you! You've got my little girl twisted up in knots with your damn attitude and all your avoiding. I come here to have a heart to heart and find you… well, like you were. How is that supposed to look to me, knowing what I know about you being her soul mate and shit?" I nodded my head feeling like a chastised child.

"You gonna' say somethin', or are you just gonna' sit there and stare at me?"

"Charlie, I just… shit, I don't know how to explain it. I thought if I could fuck someone else… I could just get the imprint out of my system, for her and for me. You know what a selfish fucker I am! What good could I do for her?" I started getting riled up again and my body began to shake.

"Cool your jets, kid. Look, I'm not saying you gotta' marry her or anything, but this shit ain't just hurtin' you. Just spend time with her… without making her cry. Be her friend and get to know her. You don't have to start out as a couple, but there's no reason for you to be making the both of ya' miserable by staying away from her." I rolled my eyes and he chuckled. "Just sayin'." He held his hand up in surrender

"You're getting pushy in your old age," I said and gave him a smirk.

Charlie lightly punched my shoulder and stood to leave.

"Oh, and Paul? You ever make my baby girl cry again and you'll find yourself running non-stop patrols until you die. Me and Sam are like this." He crossed his fingers and walked out the door.

I sat in stunned silence trying to process what had just happened before bursting into laughter. Never did I think I would be having that sort of talk with Charlie Swan. It was bizarre and incredibly embarrassing, for both of us, especially considering the state he had found me in.

Eventually I fell asleep only to be awoken by a terrible feeling of panic and despair. Bella. I knew it was Bella. In a state of absolute panic I phased and ran straight to her house. I could hear her heartbeat as well as Charlie's. She was okay. Then I smelled him. The ginger-haired leech nodded in my direction from his place at the base of the tree outside her window. I growled, long and low, my ears flattened against my head. He held up his hands in surrender and with a smirk he was gone.

Who did he think he was coming around _my mate_? Maybe Charlie was right. Maybe I could be her friend and keep her safe. It would give us both the connection we needed without subjecting her to what would be a horrible attempt at romance on my part. I could push her in the right direction and keep her away from the Cullen freak. I just needed an opening. The newfound revelation led me to the best sleep I had in ages.

The next morning I woke up with a renewed spring in my step as I would get to talk to my Bella. I could let myself have that, if nothing else. I went to work at the mechanic shop that Sam and I had opened to help with money for the pack. Sam kept throwing cautious glances at me as I whistled throughout the day. But he didn't dare say a word, probably afraid of ruining my rare good mood. As soon as I knew school was out I headed straight to the Black's, not caring that I was covered in grease and probably smelled like a monkey's ass. Her behemoth of a truck was sitting in the drive and I felt my whole body relax.

"Jake, I swear, if you don't get out of the kitchen you're not getting a single one!" Her sweet voice carried throughout the house and I heard the sound of a smack. I peeked around the corner of the kitchen to see her slapping Jake on the hands as he tried to dip his finger in the batter.

I didn't make a sound but somehow she knew I was there. First, her body tensed then her shoulders relaxed and she turned to look at me. My coveralls were hanging on my hips and my white wife beater was covered in spots of dirt and grime, but she looked at me like I was something. Like I mattered.

"Hello, Bella." Her breath hitched and she squeaked out something that was probably meant to be hi.

"Whatcha' makin'?" I asked as I made my way into the tiny kitchen. Jake searched my face, trying to figure out what I was doing and eventually gave me a nod and left the room.

"Cookies," she whispered, her eyes never leaving mine.

"Mhmm," I kept walking until I was standing close enough that I could feel her breath on my body.

"What kind?"

"Chocolate chip?" It came out more like a question and I chuckled.

Thankful that I had remembered to wash my hands before I left the shop I dipped a finger in the batter and tasted it. It was good. My girl could bake. We simply stared at one another for a while and as much as I longed to touch her, I told myself that the interaction was enough.

"Bella, I know I've been… well, an ass for the lack of a better word, but I would like to apologize. And maybe we could get to know each other. You know, be friends." I wanted to suck the word friend back inside my mouth, but I knew that it was better than the alternative of nothing at all.

"Okay. Friends. Friends is good." She didn't look any happier at the word than I did, but eventually she gave me a small smile and I grinned so hard that my cheeks hurt.

"So," she cleared her throat and blushed, "Charlie's coming here for dinner and to watch something or other on TV. I'm obviously cooking. Do you… do you want to stay for dinner?"

Could she possibly have gotten any more beautiful? I knew that she was cooking for everyone, but all I could think of was that she was cooking for me. She was taking care of me.

"Sure, angel, I'll be here. But first I need to go home and take a shower. I probably smell like shit."

"I think you smell good," she blurted out and slapped her hand over her mouth.

I laughed harder than I ever had in my life. Her already large doe eyes had gotten even bigger and her face was a shade of red I never thought could be humanly possible.

"Why thank you, angel. You smell pretty damn good yourself." I winked at her and pulled her hands away from her cheeks. "But even though you think I smell good I'm gonna' run home and get a quick shower. I'll be back before those cookies are done baking."

And I meant that shit. I took the fastest shower known to man… mainly so I could have some extra time to _relieve the tension_ that being in her presence caused. I walked back into the Black's house to find Charlie smiling at me under his mustache and Bella humming in the kitchen. Jake was sitting on top of the counter talking about God only knows what and Bella seemed to be in her own little world. She had started dinner and it smelled fucking delicious.

"So, whaddya think Bells? You want to?" Bella seemed to snap out of whatever daze she was in and looked at him.

"Sorry, Jake. What did you say?" She still hadn't noticed me yet.

"I asked if you wanted to go out with me on Friday." I fought back the growl that threatened to come out. Then I remembered that I wanted her to have someone like Jake. I wanted her to be happy.

"Uh, Jake, I … um, well, see… I sort of like someone else." Hope bloomed in my chest with the thought that she was talking about me, but I squashed that shit quick. I had to make sure she would have a good, normal life. Well, as normal as life can be when you are bound to a pack of shapeshifters.

"Sounds like a great idea," I suggested, wanting to vomit. "You two would make an adorable couple." My jaw was clenched tight and I tried to smile but I was sure it came out as more of a grimace.

"Oh," Bella looked down at her hands, "okay, Jake."

She went back to cooking and the humming stopped. Jake must have been dying to get my foot up his ass because he bent down to give her a peck on the cheek. It took every bit of my willpower to stop from dragging him away from her and kissing her all over her face before settling on her lips. She looked as repulsed as I felt by his kiss, but I knew that I had to get used to seeing him touch her. She would get used to it and would eventually like it.

_Oh, God, what if she likes it?_

"What are you three up to?" Charlie shot me a questioning glance as he took in the closeness of Jake and Bella.

"Bella here just agreed to go on a date with me!" Jake stated proudly.

Charlie looked shocked, but then his eyes seemed to twinkle with mischief. _ What are you up to, old man?_

"Well, that's just great! Always thought you two would end up together." I growled at Charlie who just shrugged his shoulders and smirked.

He thought he would get me to change my mind. The thought of Jake as his son, or anything of the sort, boiled my blood. Not nearly as bad as the thought of Jake and Bella together, and making fucking puppies, but it was pretty bad. Jake had a fucking father that loved him. Charlie was all I had ever had even resembling a dad. Billy had always tried, but it was always Charlie's approval that I sought. Not Billy's. Why did that little shit get to have it all? _Over my dead fucking body_.

I walked out of the house, slamming the door behind me. I heard my angel ask where I was going, and I knew from the pull I felt that she wanted to come after me, but Charlie asked that she let him go first.

"Well, kid, did ya' get a good look of what the future might look like if you don't get over this bullshit?" I glared at him, but it didn't faze him in the slightest.

"Look, Jake's a good kid, but he's just that. A kid. I love him, but Bella has always been much older than her years. She needs a man, son. You're that man. So it's time to put on your big boy britches, face your past and all the shit that was done to you… as well as the shit you've done. Then you need to take care of my little girl."

I nodded but didn't say a word.

"I, uh, well, you know Ms. Call's a therapist, and with her son bein' a wolf and all she knows about all this shit. So, uh, I was thinkin' that you could start seeing her. Get some help so you can be the man I know you want to be." Charlie didn't seem like the type of man that believed in therapy, but the blush on his face told me there was more to it than that. Faith, Embry's mom had raised him alone when her bastard baby daddy went back to his family. No one knew who he was, but since he's a wolf, it could only been one of two men and no one wanted to think about the implications. She never said a word, but we all knew it was a married man.

Charlie's cheeks were tinged with pink and I couldn't help but call him out on it.

"You been seein' Faith, old man?" His cheeks puffed out and his mustache twitched.

"It's cool if ya' are. She's hot." He glared at me and I laughed.

"Shut the fuck up, kid. You got your own relationship shit to work on. So, you gonna' talk to her?" He changed the subject back to the idea of therapy.

"You think it would help? Really?" I asked, skeptical.

"Well, it can't hurt, son. And wouldn't you be willing to do it if it helped you enough that you felt you could be with Bella?" He was right. I would do anything if it meant I could possibly be worthy of her.

"Yeah, sure. Tell you're girlfriend I'll come by and see her." His cheeks reddened again but he nodded. I couldn't help but laugh at seeing Charlie all flustered about the mere mention of the woman.

"Well, I know Bella's itchin' to talk to ya'. You wanna come in or would you rather me send her out?" We both looked back to see Bella peeking out of the kitchen window. When she saw that we noticed her, the curtain immediately fell back into place causing us to chuckle.

"Ah, hell, pops, send her out, I guess." He patted my knee and walked back into the house. I took a deep breath as I listened to him tell her the coast was clear. I winced as the door opened. I just knew she had questions, and while I couldn't answer them all yet, I had to give a little.

"Hey, Paul," she whispered as she sat next to me on the tailgate of her truck.

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><p><strong>Sabi'sSookie: Okay, before you guys shoot me for Charlie not kicking Paul's ass, you have to remember that Charlie knows everything there is to know about Paul, which will be revealed to you in time. Was he pissed? Hell yes! Does he get it? Yes to that too. Plus, no one can put Paul down better than Paul himself. I want to thank each and every one of you who has read, favorite, alerted, and reviewed! You guys rock, and your thoughts on Paul always crack me up! Most of you want to kick his ass, and I am with you there! He's being a big old dumbass! LOL! Now on to my BFF, Nostalcicmiss… Weezy, you are freaking fantastic and I love you to bits! You are most definitely my sister from another mister and I wouldn't even trade you for Robert Pattinson! But can you buy me one? LOL! *<strong>**SMOOSHES*******

**Nostalgicmiss:** I think Paul deserved to have his ass kicked by Charlie, but as Sabi said, Charlie knows everything there is to know Paul and no one can tear him down as well as he can himself. His self-loathing seems to know no bounds, and well he did just agree to get some help so that counts for something! Right? Thank you for all the love! For the reading, alerting, favoriting and reviewing. Every week you guys blow us away. We've had so much fun writing this, and it means a lot to us knowing that you're enjoying it too. To my sister from another mister and BFF, I love you chick! You're amazing and so giving, you have no idea how much you help with the whole inspiration thing! You read everything I write and you're always willing to give me a kick up the ass when I need one ;) I wouldn't trade you for the world :P And if I can find one I will definitely buy you one lol! *TACKLE SMOOSHES***  
><strong>


	7. Chapter 7 Bella

**All recognizable names are the property of Stephenie Meyer. We just like playing dress up in her shoes.**

**This story is not suitable for those under the age of 18. It is rated M, so if you're not old enough to buy a pack of smokes… we don't wanna know!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4: Bella<strong>

_Butterflies, gravity, pulls me into  
>Anticipate offers, touch sweet and so new<br>Let's figure out how to make this forever  
>Oh, this is making me crazy<br>**No One Else by Natalie Walker**_

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><p>School seemed to pass more slowly than I could ever have imagined. The nightmare from the night before seemed to haunt me every time I had a second to myself. The vision of the animal and Paul together had been created by the peace both seemed to bring to me. But there was still that sinister edge, and I could only hazard a guess that it had been because the wolf was a wild animal and I subconsciously knew I was taking a risk.<p>

There was no way I could focus on class with it on repeat over and over again. Even though I'd discovered how much nicer it was being in a school where the number of students didn't overwhelm the teachers.

Kim had tried asking me what was bothering me, but I shrugged it off as being the change in climate. I could see just how bad of a liar I was in the incredulous look she gave me, but I couldn't tell anyone what I was feeling. I was already confused enough without another conflicting opinion and truth be told, I certainly wasn't going to tell anyone about the wolf and risk his life.

I was in this alone, and I could feel it with every beat of my heart, right down the edges of my soul. This revelation should have comforted me, I had always dealt with things alone, but this was different. I actually felt like I was missing a part of myself, and I knew people would look at me as though I'd lost my mind if I ever dared explain that an overlarge wolf and Paul were the only thing that had eased that thus far.

Sat at lunch, I pushed the food around my plate, while my other elbow perched on the table and held up my heavy head. I could feel a headache building around the edges of my mind. I was so tired and so distracted I didn't even notice the constant banter going on around me.

"What is up with you?" Embry asked, stealing the tray from in front of me and inhaling the food with a grin. I dropped my fork onto the table and brought the hand to meet my other so both hands cradled my chin.

_I'm losing my mind. _"I'm just tired."

"That's not news," Quil laughed from beside me, snorting out a laugh as Embry slapped his hand from the remainder of the food on the tray. "But why you're so tired is the real mystery."

"I think it's the rain," I lied with a sigh. "I'm not used to all that noise at night."

"I find it calming," Kim said dreamily, leaning into Jared, who seemed more than happy to cradle her head on his shoulder. "But I still think you're a rotten liar."

Jake chuckled from beside me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I shouldn't have felt as though he was invading my space, especially when his lazy smile and friendly nature eased me. He was trying to offer me comfort, but I couldn't describe how wrong it felt to have him this close. I did appreciate the gesture though.

"Well how about we distract you?" Jake asked, moving his arm to the back of the chair casually, making the gesture more friendly than intimate. "You said you liked to cook right? Maybe you could come over and hook us up with good grub. There's a game tonight so your dad will probably end up at the house."

"You just want more cookies," I teased.

"And I'm not ashamed to admit it." He looked to his two friends and they nodded in agreement. I'd made a batch last week that they'd devoured in record time.

"Oh, rookie mistake," Kim laughed, elbowing Jared in the ribs as he nodded with just as much fervor. "Once you start cooking for this lot, you can't stop! And you always have to make enough for a small army."

"Oh to be metabolically blessed," I mumbled, thinking about my mom's favorite saying when I made cookies. A minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips, I'd never really watched what I ate but it still seemed to run through my mind when I wanted an extra cookie. There were a lot of momisms that made me think before doing anything. I knew she hadn't meant it to be that way, but hindsight truly was twenty-twenty.

Kim nodded emphatically and wrinkled her nose as Embry belched quietly from beside her. She slapped him and he had the good sense to look apologetic.

"So? What do you say?" Jake asked, almost bouncing in his seat. I couldn't help but laugh; his excitement seemed to pull me out of the funk I'd been in since I'd woken up that morning.

"Well it depends." I grinned turning in my seat and attempting to give him a stern look.

"On what?"

"What do you want me to make?" I asked, it really didn't make a difference what he said; I just like giving him a hard time.

"You're from Arizona, they have to have good Chili recipes there, right?"

I heard Embry cough and shot him a brief look before I looked back to Jacob. I wasn't sure what it was all about but I prompted him to go on.

"You want me to make chili?"

In my peripheral I noticed the others shook their heads, but Jacob nodded emphatically, his white teeth all on show with his wide grin.

"Hot or mild?"

"Hot," the others answered in unison for him, and he grinned, inclining his head in agreement.

"Hot chili it is," I said getting up from the table. I'll meet you after school by the truck, and if you want cookies you have to buy the ingredients, and enough to bring to school tomorrow."

"Awe come on, Bells," Jake whined offering me his puppy dog eyes.

"You heard the woman, Jake," Embry laughed, following my lead and getting up from his seat. "You want cookies you gotta share, big man."

He took both the trays and turned to walk away, effectively ending our small group lunch as the others followed suit. Kim grinned and linked her arm through mine as she dragged me toward our next class.

I was thankful for the distraction remembering the five-alarm chili recipe afforded me. It meant I didn't have time to dwell on the nightmare or my predicament with Paul. It didn't get rid of it completely, but it at least toned it down to a dull roar in the back of my mind, which was something I could deal with.

The rest of the day consisted of me flicking between classes and jotting down the ingredients for the chili I'd learned to make. It was enough to keep me sane, and that was the best I could hope for these days.

Jacob grumbled all the way to the store, but he didn't back out of the deal, which meant he really must have wanted some cookies. I actually felt a little flattered, and I really didn't mind baking mass amounts, because I'd never really had the opportunity to do that before.

Whether I would admit it out loud or not, I knew Charlie had been right about sending me to the Res school. I felt like I belonged here, and the Black's, along with all of Jacob's friends had become like family to me.

When I was a kid I'd wanted a big family but had been resigned to the fact that mom was happy with just me. It had never occurred to me that I could get the same feeling from a group of loud-mouthed Quileute's last on occasion had the ability to drive me insane.

"Hey dad," Jacob called out, slapping the door out of his way with his back as he carried all the bags inside. "Bella's making dinner–and cookies."

I could hear Billy's chuckle from the couch and turned to give him a smile of appreciation. I was certain he'd realized I'd been coerced. He was looking over the back of the couch; his smile the same as Jacob's but nestled in the faint lines of age.

"Five-alarm chili, Jacob's choice."

"That's not surprising," Billy laughed. "You may just want to avoid him for a couple of days after though, the boy is dangerous."

"That explains the collective groan at school," I snorted, heading back into the kitchen, where Jacob was lining all the things we'd bought out on the counter.

"Don't let them fool you Bella. It was once . . . YEARS AGO!" he yelled in Billy's direction. I could see the flush in his cheeks as he grinned at me.

It was times like this when I felt at home here. It was so easy to slide into their lives that I felt like I'd always belonged here. Considering I'd only been here two or three times growing up, it was an impressive feat.

I started mixing the batter for the cookies so I could get them going to get rid of Jacob with a batch so he was out from under my feet before I started dinner. It was going to have to simmer a while so I could get back to making more batches of cookies before he came looking for seconds.

Not that I was surprised, but I could see where his priorities were.

Unfortunately, it was easier said than done. Every time I turned my back, Jacob had his paw like hands in the mixing bowl scooping out the cookie dough in huge lumps. It happened a couple times before I finally got frustrated.

"Jake, I swear if you don't get out of the kitchen you're not getting a single one!" I finally shouted. He'd actually been successful to hide it from me, but he hadn't counted on there being a small smudge of batter on the corner of his mouth.

He put his hands up in surrender and backed away a few steps, before his hand darted out to the bowl again. This time I slapped his hand hard enough for it to ring out through the small kitchen and couldn't believe the sting that ran through my fingers and palm. I would have given him the stare down but I was all too aware of the pull that seemed to come from the door of the kitchen.

I swallowed before I looked up, my heart was in my throat and my body seemed to know without a doubt who was there. I wasn't sure how much of his stare downs I could take before I cracked; I just knew that I had as much right to be there as he did.

When I looked up, Paul was stood there looking magnificent in his oil smeared wife beater that clung to the muscles in his chest. My eyes continued their path to his stained blue coveralls that hung from his hips looking precariously balanced as though one tug and they would give up the fight they had with gravity.

For the first time in my life, I wished I were more forthcoming.

As the thought rang through my mind, he opened up his mouth to speak, drawing my eyes from his hips to the dark brown of his own eyes. He had every ounce of my attention.

"Hello, Bella."

I wasn't sure of the words that came out of my mouth as I tried to process the greeting that should have been so simple. If I was honest, it really didn't make much sense to me either. I knew what I had been aiming for, but the words were garbled and confused. The fact that he'd said something to me other than "Fuck," or "Leave," left me feeling a little overwhelmed.

"Whatcha' makin'?" he asked, his eyes filled with actual interest, which only made my heart stammer in my chest all the harder. The closer he stepped toward me, the more I felt normal. I took a breath feeling like I had finally been able to fill my lungs for the first time in weeks.

"Cookies," I whispered, afraid that if I spoke any louder I would spook him and make him take off again. I was clinging to this feeling with both hands. It's what I'd been looking for; longing for, since I'd seen him for the first time over a week ago.

"Mhmm," he replied, taking cautious steps forward until the natural musk of his sweat and oil scent filled my nose, making my body physically reach out for him. It was a fight to keep my eyes open as it assaulted my senses and settled there. "What kind?"

"Chocolate chip?" I asked, hoping it was the right answer.

He chuckled in response and held my eyes with his, the brown looked even more amazing this close, and the gentle hazel green strands close to his pupil seemed to spark some feeling of recognition inside of me, but I was too enveloped in him to notice.

He dipped his finger into the batter and put it into his mouth, humming his approval as my eyes took in the action. It was almost erotic for me. The way his full lips parted and formed around the digit made my body react in ways I hadn't even been aware it could. I was terrified that this feeling was rolling off me in waves, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. Even with Jacob stood only feet away from me.

"Bella," Paul said, my name rolling off his tongue and making the hair stand up on the back of my neck. "I know I've been . . . Well, an ass for the lack of a better word, but I would like to apologize. And maybe we could get to know each other. You know, be friends."

I almost choked at the words he'd given me. I'd never really understood the complexities of why people found it so offensive . . . Until now. It was like standing in a field with the sun washing over you and hugging the complex lines of your body making you feel alive, then having a bucket of ice cold water thrown over you. It was blunt and immediately made me sober from the spell he seemed to have me under.

At least I still had that feeling of being whole, and wasn't that just weak and pathetic. Sadly I was aware that if there hadn't been there was a chance I would have gone back on my promise and ended up falling apart again.

Paul stared at me as though waiting for an answer and I realized I'd been quiet for too long.

"Okay. Friends. Friends is good," I lied, feeling like I should wash my mouth out for using such a disdainful word. It was like acid burning my throat and I loathed it. "So, Charlie's coming here for dinner and to watch something or other on TV. I'm making dinner. Do you . . . Do you want to stay for dinner?"

They way I had asked made me sound like I was asking him to reverse nature and have my children. It was ridiculous. I was making a pot of chili, not gold-flaked chicken breasts. The word breast, even in my own head, made me blush in his presence.

"Sure, angel, I'll be here," he said with a look that made my heart swell in my chest. Why cooking for him was such a big deal was beyond me, but at least he'd accepted. And he'd called me angel, which had that optimistic side sticking its tongue out at my more pessimistic nature. "But first, I need to go home and take a shower. I probably smell like shit."

"I think you smell good." I slapped my hands over my face. _Way to have your brain communicate with your mouth, Bella_. I thought to myself wanting the ground to open up and swallow me whole, even though it would mean I couldn't be close to him. I could feel my blush come on with a vengeance as he laughed. I don't think I could have been more embarrassed if I'd actually, physically tried.

"Why thank you angel. You smell pretty damn good yourself," he laughed, the rough skin of his fingers gently pulling my hands from my face. He was so close, and even the smile in his eyes seemed to hold my place on earth, anchoring me close to him.

His skin was so warm against mine it was almost hot, but I had noticed the same thing with the others when I got too close. Even with that comparison, I knew this was different, this wasn't just warmth from the skin, it flooded into me this was attraction and I couldn't reign it in.

"But even though you think I smell good I'm gonna run home and get a quick shower. I'll be back before those cookies are done baking."

I bit my tongue to keep my mouth shut as he took a step back and smiled at me as he turned and jogged out of the door without so much as a backward glance. I stood shell shocked in his absence, my body almost jerking me in a step to follow him as he left. The need to be close with him had only become stronger since he'd actually had a descent conversation with me.

I'd never felt so pathetic in my life, but even with that being said I couldn't help basking in the glow of my inner schoolgirl.

"Bella, cookies," Jake said from somewhere in the room, but I couldn't connect what he was saying to the relevance of it. "Are they supposed to smell like that?"

"Oh shit," I hissed, turning and dropping to open the oven door where a small cloud of smoke greeted me. "I'm sorry, Jake, let me see if they're salvageable."

Thankfully, Jacob's nose had caught the cookies just in time. They weren't black, just a deep golden broken which he seemed to appreciate, telling me they added to the flavor. I promised him the next batch would be better, but he simply laughed at me and sat on the counter and watched me start the chili.

We talked quietly amongst ourselves and I couldn't deny I felt better than I had in days. Jacob wolfed down the cookies without so much as offering one to Billy. I teased him about his appetite as he complimented me on the smell of the chili. It was amazing to me how much food these guys could put away.

Charlie stuck his head in the kitchen when he arrived and grinned giving me two thumbs up. "Chili smells great, Bells."

"Thanks, Dad. Take a seat it needs to simmer a while, but you may want to help yourself to a cookie before Jacob eats them all."

Charlie could only laugh as Jacob pulled the plate protectively to his chest and turned his body away from the door.

"Or not."

Charlie shook his head and disappeared back into the room where I could already hear the chilling of what I could only guess was Monday Night Football.

Jacob stayed in the kitchen, and sat talking to me as I worked. I knew it was unfair, but I the more time that passed I barely heard a word he said as I floated around the kitchen on cloud nine. I was so involved in my own thoughts that I barely heard a word he said. All I could think about was Paul, the look in his eyes as he assessed at me, that need to be close to him and the pull I had, even now when he was less than forty feet away in his little shack.

Friends may not be so bad if I got to spend time with him. I was so happy about having the chance to spend any time with him at all that I'd lost that sinking feeling the word had brought me previously.

"So, whaddya think Bells?" Jacob asked from his perch on the counter as I arranged another batch of cookies on the cooling rack and put another tray in.

"Sorry, Jake. What did you say?" I asked catching the snicker from him when he realized I'd yet again been caught miles away, lost in my own head and the thoughts of Paul.

"I asked if you wanted to go out with me on Friday."

As the words sunk in I realized the one thing I'd wished for in desperation was coming about. It wasn't that I wanted to date Jacob, but I had wished I had liked him instead, and now he was asking me out; even though everything in me was still gravitated toward Paul, who I could tell was close.

I wanted to turn Jacob down before he showed up, so with my kindest expression and my usual awkward stutter at having to do something difficult, I declined. I knew he would understand, Jacob was a sweet guy and I think he'd assumed my head was somewhere else, with someone else.

Unfortunately, I hadn't counted on Paul arriving and telling me that I should go for it, and in the process crushing any and all hopes that had sprung into me with our agreement at being friends.

I uttered a response to Jake hesitantly before turning around and busying myself with things that didn't need to be done. I really didn't want to go and I knew I was letting myself be dictated to by a guy I hardly knew, but there was a small part of me that hoped it would make him jealous.

I was in a haze of self-pity and even when Jake kissed me on the cheek at the confirmation I could only offer him a half smile before hanging my head and working on the white rice I'd been making to go with the chili.

My whole world felt as though it were crashing down on me, and I knew I would have to talk to Jake and tell him I'd changed my mind before Friday, as much as I loved him as a friend I didn't want to blur the lines between us and make things complicated.

When Charlie wandered into the kitchen and Jacob told him about the date I knew I was screwed. He'd want to know why I eventually turned Jacob down. He was his best friends son, it was inevitable he would ask.

The longer the conversation went on the more trapped I felt. It was actually a relief when Paul stepped outside, even when he slammed the door in his wake. The urge to follow him was so strong that I almost pushed past Charlie as he gave Jacob a dark look and held his hands up to stop me.

"Why did Paul leave?"

"Not a clue," Dad lied forgetting he was the reason I sucked so hard at bending the truth. "Let me go."

I eyed him suspiciously and nodded, just glad that Paul had someone to talk to. Whatever was bothering him had caused him to slam the door behind him. So it wasn't – nothing. If the only thing he would allow me was friendship I would do it to the best of my ability.

"You don't really want to go out on Friday do you?" Jacob asked, his smile broad as though he were part of a joke I hadn't been included in.

"Jake, listen . . ."

He held up his hands to stop me, and pulled me closer to him, his hand on my shoulder, his brown eyes earnest.

"Don't. It's fine. We're probably better off as friends anyway. Why ruin a good thing, huh?"

I gave him a weak smile and leaned into his hug, feeling better about everything else. I didn't like hurting him, he was a good friend, but that's all he would be. I wasn't sure how I knew that, but it was as real to me as the heat emitting from his chest.

"Thanks, Jacob."

"For what? Being seventeen shades of awesome, and adding yet another awesome thing to me being me?"

"You're not bashful are you?"

"Did I ever give the impression I was?" he laughed.

"Good point."

"Bells," Charlie said, sticking his head into the kitchen with another of his knowing smiles. "Coast is clear."

I nodded and gave Jacob some directions for the food and headed out the front door, where Paul was perched on my tailgate looking defeated.

"Hey, Paul," I said quietly, slipping up next to him and relaxing into the opportunity of being this close to him, and stealing a few minutes of sanity while I did.

"Sorry, angel, I just needed some air."

I nodded and swung my legs back and forth as my fingers gripped the metal edge of the truck. I wasn't the most articulate person in the world to begin with, but in front of him I was even more useless. As much as I wanted to be around him, I was terrified that one word would send him walking away from me as I had every time so far.

"You okay?" I finally mustered the courage to ask. My fingers picking at a stray hem on my jeans, as I chanced at look at him. He was staring at me with so much intensity I couldn't help the blush that rose to my cheeks.

"I'm not good at this," he said, his legs matching the swing of mine, his baby finger brushing accidentally against the skin of my hands as he matched my position.

"Talking?" I asked, tipping my head to the side with a small grin.

"No," he snorted, tilting his head so he was looking up at me. "At being a friend. I've had some pretty sucky experiences and I'm not the nicest guy in the world."

"I don't believe that," I said gently, treading carefully. He seemed to think low of himself and I wasn't certain of how he would accept compliments.

"I know you don't." He smiled and looked down at the dirt again and I did the same. "I'm going to try to be your friend but I can't promise anything."

I nodded again, and sighed happy that he seemed to at least be willing to make the effort. I guessed it was my turn to be honest about something.

"I canceled with Jacob. I don't want to date him, he's my friend but that's it."

Paul turned his head away from me and nodded. For a fleeting second, I actually believed that he was smiling.

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><p><strong>Nostalgicmiss: <strong>Poor Bella, she's still in the dark, but at least Paul seems to be making some progress at least. I think Bella's still a little overwhelmed by all of this, so she's treading carefully. Thanks again to all of you that read, alert, favorite and review. You guys are so amazing and I know Sabi agrees with me ;) Sabi honey! You know I love you sister from another mister, you're my BFF and it's always such an honor to write with you! I wish I could wrap up the Major in a bow and gift him to you! **SMOOSHES**

**Sabi'sSookie: You guys are amazing! You blew me away with your response to Paul's last chapter! I really can't tell you enough how much we love an appreciate every single one of our readers! And Bella… poor girl. But we're making some progress, right? LOL! And I want to go ahead and tell you guys that I am going on vacation for two weeks. I will still be updating, but I may not get to reply to reviews. I just wanted to tell you all ahead of time. I'm not ignoring you, I'll just be theme park hopping in Florida! Weezy, you are the best! At everything! But especially at being a BFF! I love writing with you and can't wait until we're holed up in the Sanctuary, sitting on the porch with our laptops… and hot shirtless men… can't forget that! LOVE YOOOOOOU! And I wouldn't turn the Major away ;)**


	8. Chapter 8 Paul

**All recognizable names are the property of Stephenie Meyer. We just like playing dress up in her shoes.**

**This story is not suitable for those under the age of 18. It is rated M, so if you're not old enough to buy a pack of smokes… we don't wanna know!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 5 Paul<br>**

_Don't lose your faith in me  
>And I will try not to lose faith in you<br>Don't put your trust in walls  
>'Cause walls will only crush you when they fall<em>  
><strong>Be Here Now by Ray LaMontagne<strong>

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><p>She turned down Jake… and then told me… reassured me that they were just friends. She wanted me, I could see it in her eyes. And her smell. The scent of her arousal was enough to make me insane with lust.<p>

_I could take her right her, right now, and she would let me._

Subconsciously, I licked my lips. I mean, who could possibly help themselves around her. I didn't blame Jake, or any other man for wanting her. She was impossibly beautiful in an understated way. My keen eyes detected no hint of makeup and her clothing was more on the plain side. No, my angel wasn't flashy, but she sure as hell stood out! Cream skin the color of pale porcelain contrasted with her dark hair and eyes. And her lips… I could write fucking sonnets about the girl's lips.

_Friends, dipshit, until you figure yourself out_.

I decided to tune out the sane voice inside my head, because she was biting that damn bottom lip again and I wanted to do that. I wasn't even considering the consequences when I used my thumb to pull it from between her teeth. My rough thumb was the exact opposite of her lips. They felt like the finest satin.

Bella's eyes were locked on mine, they never faltered. Hell, I don't think she even fucking blinked.

"I'm so bad for you, angel. So bad." I whispered, my lips practically touching hers.

"Don't care." She swallowed heavily and I couldn't take it anymore.

Ever so gently I pressed my lips to hers. While I would usually avoid kissing all together, I savored every second with her. My tongue crept out and traced her lips. There was no hesitation when they parted for me and a slow, sensual dance began between us. She whimpered a little into my mouth and brazenly moved herself so that she was straddling me. I moaned loudly as her body came in contact with my dick. Nothing, and I mean nothing, had ever felt as good as she did. Just kissing her was more… just more than I had ever experienced.

Thankfully there was the loud clearing of a throat to distract me. I reluctantly pulled away from Bella and looked over my shoulder to see Charlie trying to fight a smirk. Cheeky bastard. Bella's face was flushed and her lips were swollen in a way that made me want to ravage her. Then my sanity kicked in.

"Shit," I whispered as I moved her off of my lap.

"Do you regret that?" My angel asked in a small voice.

"No! But, you should know… Bella, I'm not good. At all. I have fucked too many girls to count, and the scars? They're just one thing on a long ass list that makes me fucked up. You have no idea… I would ruin you, Bella."

"Paul," My eyes remained focused on my hands in my lap, but she wouldn't have that. She hopped off the truck and bent down to put herself in my line of sight.

"I know you think that those things mean something to me. And maybe they should, but I don't see any of that. I'm confused as hell, and way out of my element. That… that was my first kiss. Well, my first real one anyway," she mumbled the last part under her breath and I fought the urge to smirk.

"I don't know what this is, but the only time I feel like me is when I'm with you, Paul." Her words made my heart pump furiously. She was so fucking good. A real live angel taking pity on the devil himself.

"I can't Bella. I told you I will be your friend, but I can't even promise to be good at that. I need… I need to work on me before I can be any good for you, or anyone else for that matter." She had that look in her eye. You know the one where someone has just been let down easy. After they've received the "it's not you, it's me" speech. Fuck. She thought I didn't want her. Would it be better to leave it that way?

_No, dumbshit! Just tell her maybe after you've seen a shrink or some shit! Don't fuck this up_!

The inner voice was starting to piss me off.

"Bella, I don't want to make any promises. I will probably always be a fuck-up, and will never EVER be good enough for you, but I am going to try, okay? That's all I can say for now. But until then… friends?" I held out my hand for her to shake but instead she stood up on her tiptoes and kissed my cheek before walking back to the house.

"You coming in to eat, or what?" She threw over her shoulder as she walked in the door.

_Damn… I say again. Damn. _

I knew I would do whatever I could to be even moderately good enough for her. I just hoped that Faith was good at the whole therapy thing 'cause a girl like her wouldn't stay single for long. It's not like I asked her to wait for me. Shit.

That was the only thought that went through my head as we all ate dinner in silence. Everyone was looking between Bella and me. Charlie looked confused as shit after what he had witnessed outside. Hell, I was confused myself. How in the hell could I have kissed her when I knew I wasn't going to be with her? At least not right away. When Bella left she gave me a shy wave, but nothing else and I sulked all the way home. No one dared to bother me, not even Leah. Everyone knew to give me a wide berth when I was in one of my bouts of self-hate.

Faith Call couldn't see me for two days and they seemed to drag. I don't know if I thought that I'd see her once and be cured or what, but needless to say I didn't expect what happened.

"Hello, Paul. Come on in." Faith opened the door wide enough to let me past. Her black eyes scrutinized me as I made my way over to the living room. My options were a sofa and a recliner.

_I am not laying on a fucking sofa._

"Just sit in the fucking recliner, Paul. I'm going to do my shrink thing either way." Holy hell, who'da thought Faith had a foul mouth. Definitely not what I expected from a shrink, but then again she was the mother of Embry and that boy had a seriously foul mouth.

I sat down and we just stared at one another for a good fifteen minutes.

"Look, if you're here to waste my time, then you can get the fuck out. You wanna be better for Bella?" My eyes widened and I knew fucking Charlie had told her about the imprint. Fuck. I nodded anyway.

"Well, then open your damn mouth and start talking. I know about the shit that happened to you as a kid, but in order to get past it, you have to talk about it."

"Fuck, isn't there just some sort of shrink voodoo shit you can do to just fix me?" I asked as I picked at one of my dirty fingernails.

"Doesn't work that way, Paul. Sorry. It's a process, and not a particularly short or easy one. How about we start easy. Tell me about the first time you remember your father beating you." Her face remained a blank mask, showing no emotion.

"That's what you call fucking easy?" I scoffed.

"If you ever want Bella you're going to have to do this. So, let's do this. The first time he beat you…"

"I was six. I remember because it was my birthday. Mom was dead and he dove head first into a bottle of Jack. All my other friends had birthday parties and gifts and I didn't understand why I couldn't. But I stayed quiet. Always fucking quiet. Sam's mom stopped by and brought me a cupcake with a candle on it. I was so happy that someone remembered me that I hugged her. She left and he pounced on me. Said that I didn't care about mom, that I wanted to replace her. I had no fucking clue what he was talking about. I was fucking SIX!" I held up my right arm and took in my slightly crooked wrist. "It never healed right since he wouldn't take me to the doctor."

"How about the day Charlie found you?" She asked and I shook my head. I wasn't ready for that shit yet.

"Okay, well then tell me about Bella. Why not just be with her? The imprint demands that you be whatever she needs. You won't hurt her, Paul." Her voice had taken on a kinder tone.

"Yeah, because I'm really what she needs," I spat sarcastically. "I want to be good enough for her! Have you met her?" I asked and she shook her head no.

"Well, if you had you would see. She is the kindest, most beautiful person… there aren't words to describe how perfect she is. And I am just this enormous fuck up! If it weren't for the imprint she wouldn't look twice at someone like me. She's too good. A lot like Charlie." I noticed a faint blush come over her russet skin at the mention of him.

"Charlie thinks you're good enough. He loves you like a son, Paul. Always has. Did you know that he tried to fight the council for the rights to adopt you back then?" My eyes widened and I stared at her, looking for some sign that she was lying.

"He begged that Billy be the one to take you in if he couldn't. The only time I've ever seen Charlie Swan cry was the night he found you broken and bleeding. Did you know that his dad used to beat him and his mom?"

"What?" I asked and began to shake.

"Yep, but when he was old enough he left. He tried to take his mom with him, but she wouldn't leave. She killed herself the day he married Bella's mom, once she knew he was safe and happy. He's lived with that for years. He feels responsible for his mother's death."

I couldn't believe it. Charlie knew what it was like to be me, but instead of turning into what I had, he became a good man. A good father.

"It's all about choices, Paul. For too long you've let your past choose for you. Now it's time to simply learn from your past, but not let it control you."

The little boy in me wanted to find Charlie and hug him. Surely I had brought back painful memories for him, but he pushed them aside and made sure that I always knew he was there.

"So, what are you going to do, Paul?"

"The night Charlie found me…"

I left Faith's house feeling lighter than I had in years. Lighter but emotionally exhausted. When I reached my little shack, Bella was sitting on the porch. I hadn't even realized that she would be out of school yet.

"Charlie said you might need a friend." She shrugged and stood, answering my unasked question of why she was there.

When I reached her I took her hand and pulled her into the house. Bella sat on my dingy couch looking so out of place and smiled gently at me.

"Come here," she whispered and I sat next to her. Her tiny fingers traced my forearm and the feeling seemed to calm me. Some deep, unnamed emotion ran through me, making me feel warm.

"You wanna' talk about it?" She asked and I shook my head.

"I think I'm about talked out. You wanna' watch a movie or something instead." She bit her lip and gave me a small "okay".

We sat in silence as we watched… well, I couldn't tell you what we watched because all I could concentrate on was how she intertwined her dainty fingers with mine. Light against dark, her skin against mine. It represented us completely. Maybe she was meant to be the light to my dark. Maybe that's why she was mine, but why was I hers? What could I hope to offer her?

"You're thinking too much. Stop it," Bella said through a yawn as she laid her head on my shoulder. We must have dozed off because we were both startled by a knock at my door. Charlie didn't wait for me to answer before walking in.

"Hey kids." He smiled as he took in the sight of us holding hands. "It's dinner time kids, and I'm treating, so let's get a move on."

"Okay, Dad. I'm just going to use the bathroom real quick." I pointed her in the direction of my small bathroom and turned to face Charlie.

"How'd it go today, son?" His brown eyes, so much like Bella's were filled with concern.

"Okay, I guess. I got a lot of shit off my chest, so that felt good. She, us, she told me about your… you know."

"Yeah, I thought she might. It's all right, though. I would've told you myself, but you know me and talking." We both smirked because I did know how much he just _loved _to chitchat.

"Oh, I know, old man. Now, what's for dinner?" I rubbed my stomach and he walked over to pat me on the back. Neither of us were very comfortable with talking about emotional shit, so I knew what that pat on the back meant. It was his version of a man-hug.

The rest of the week was spent much the same way. After work, or patrolling, I would find Bella waiting for me. I told her to let herself in and most days I would come in to find her doing her homework. Sometimes Jake would be with her, which made my blood boil, but I was okay with it. It was difficult to see her go, and every time I saw her it got increasingly worse. On nights that I wasn't patrolling I slept, in wolf form, outside her house. The sound of her heartbeat kept away my nightmares and calmed me in ways I couldn't begin to describe.

I wanted to be touching her always, but kept it light. Although, any time we watched a movie, she ended up in my arms or holding my hand. It was the greatest thing I had ever felt. When she would leave, her eyes would linger on mine and the urge to kiss her again only got stronger.

"So," Sam started one night after she had gone home, "how's staying away from her working out for ya'?"

I flipped him the bird and rolled my eyes.

"We're trying to be friends while I get my shit sorted out."

"Seems like Faith has been helping you work through some things. Even your wolf is calmer. Then again, that's usually the effect of an imprint, not a shrink." I growled at him making him lift his hands in surrender and smirk.

"Now, I'm not saying the shrink thing won't help, 'cause Lord knows you need to work through that shit but the only thing that will truly heal you is being with Bella the way you are meant to." I knew Sam was right, but I just couldn't. Not until I was sure that I wouldn't hurt her. The imprint may heal you, but there were some things that I simply had to do on my own.

"You in love with her yet?" Sam asked and I spit out the soda I had just started drinking. Sam guffawed loudly, slapping his knee for effect.

Love? Was that what it was? No. It wasn't possible. I mean, I cared about her more than anything in the world, but love? I shook my head rapidly, only serving to make Sam laugh even harder.

"It comes on quick, Paul. But it's not just the imprint. All the imprint does is point you in the direction of your mate. Of course, seeing as how they are made for us and us for them it's sort of hard not to fall in love."

"No… I can't… I mean, I've never really loved anyone before…. I don't think I'm capable." My head was spinning and I felt like I would vomit.

_Too much to soon._

"Calm down, Paul. It'll come to you, but don't stress. Just relax and it will all work out. I mean look at Emily and me. I never would have imagined she could love me after all the hell I put her through. Her own parents don't even speak to her because she chose me. Leah hates her, and… well, you only have to look at her to see the rest. We're never good enough, Paul, but we can spend the rest of our lives trying to be."

His words stuck with me, and I did try. So fucking hard. The thing was, it didn't feel like I was doing anything. I was just me and she always looked at me like I was everything. Never had anyone looked at me like that and it made me feel like my heart would explode. I tried not to linger too long when I hugged her goodnight. I didn't want to scare her away, but damn if I didn't want to keep her in my arms. I thought that week with her had been the best of my life.

That Saturday she was going to Port Angeles for some new books or some shit while Kim and some other chick I didn't know shopped for dresses for some dumbass dance that my girl refused to go to.

_Thank God!_

She texted me to let me know and I couldn't help the smile that overtook my face. I felt like a fucking little kid at Christmas; or what I imagined that felt like. She wanted to let me know where she would be. It was such a coupley thing to do and for some reason it made my dick hard. She wasn't asking my approval, just giving me a heads up, but damn if it didn't feel good that she wanted to include me in everything.

_Now if I can get over the fact that she's going to be that far away, I'll feel even better._

Something told me to go with her. Something deep in my gut, but Sam had me patrolling. Why, I don't know, there had never been a leech other than the Cullens for years, but it came with the territory. When my shift was over I went to Charlie's to watch the game with Charlie and to wait on Bella.

"Knock, knock, old man!" I called out as I walked through Charlie's front door. Bella's scent lingered everywhere and I inhaled deeply. Charlie noticed, but other than a smirk, didn't really acknowledge it.

"My baby sure has been happy lately, son." The fucking mustache twitched like it did every time he smiled.

"I hope so. Sometimes I want to just tell her everything, you know? But she never pushes. I think she gets that from her pops." I winked at him and he chuckled.

We sat in silence, minus the occasional shout at the television, but I was always on alert, waiting to hear the sound of an engine, signaling that my angel was home. When I finally did I had to fight to stay in my seat. I ignored Charlie's chuckles and sat stock still. My happiness, however, faded when I got a whiff of the scent that rolled off of her when she walked through the door made me see red.

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><p><strong>Sabi'sSookie: I am on vacation and have been so busy I almost forgot today was Tuesday! You guys can think Nostalgicmiss for reminding me! LOL! So, what do you think is up with Bella's scent? I'm sure some of you guys will guess ;) I want to apologize about the lack of replies to reviews, but I want you guys to know that I have read and appreciate every one! You guys are the best readers! Thanks for all the love by way of reviews, alerts, favorites, or just reading! You all make me smile! Weezy, girl, I love you like a fat kid loves cake! You are the best friend a gal could ask for! And I am so honored to get to write with you! Thank you so much for being my friend and for keeping me going! Love you to bits, girlie!<strong>

Nostalgicmiss:

I miss my bestie! But I am glad she's having fun! It is Tuesday lol! I almost forgot too, but thankfully, I got a review, which reminded me! I love how Paul's managed to make her happy. She was going through so much trying to understand her feelings and her need to be with him, but now he's in her life, she's able to even out a little. It seems Faith has been good for him, so fingers crossed he keeps that up! Thank you to all of you who read, favorite and alert, and of course all of you who review. You're all awesome and I love you for letting us know what you think. B, you're an amazing bestie and I love you loads. I am always so thankful to have you in my life, and as always writing with you is not only a pleasure but a breeze. Have fun on vacation! I miss you loads and loads! Thanks for always being there!


	9. Chapter 9 Bella

**All recognizable names are the property of Stephenie Meyer. We just like playing dress up in her shoes.**

**This story is not suitable for those under the age of 18. It is rated M, so if you're not old enough to buy a pack of smokes… we don't wanna know!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 5 Bella<strong>

_I let it fall, my heart,  
>And as it fell, you rose to claim it<br>It was dark and I was over  
>Until you kissed my lips and you saved me<br>**Set Fire to the Rain by Adele**_

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><p>He kissed me!<p>

That's the only thing I could think as I drove home after dinner that night. After I had told him about canceling with Jacob, our natural gravitational pull had seemed to bring us closer and closer until he closed the gap and pressed his full, warm lips to mine.

My body had exploded with emotion; the feel of him against me, and in me as he explored my mouth with his warm, sensual tongue had made me feel as though I were on fire without being burned. I was barely aware that I had moved into his lap, until Charlie intervened.

The noises he made, the gentle reverent touches he gave me, the feel of his hot body pressed against mine as I let myself fall into him, were the only things I could think about. The fact that my father had been stood right there and cleared his throat didn't diminish those thoughts in the slightest.

We'd talked a little more, but all I could think was he kissed me, he'd given me my first kiss and my body felt like everything had aligned to make me feel whole, as though my life had a purpose and he was it.

He was still throwing around the friend word, but with passion like that, there was no way he could maintain that was all we could have for too long. He said he'd wanted to be better for me, that he wasn't good enough, but all I could think was how perfect he really was for me, how he fit my life and made me feel complete.

For maybe the first time in my life, I felt like I had a purpose and I knew he had something to do with that.

I could see Charlie's smile as I waved goodnight to him when I got home. I'd imagined he would have chewed me a new one for catching me in such a compromising position with a man that was two years my senior, but he never said a word.

I went through my daily routine feeling brighter than I had since I'd arrived in Forks. I hadn't seen my wolf as much since I'd become friends with Paul. It became even worse when Charlie had suggested that Paul would need a friend.

I wasn't sure why he needed someone to talk to and I wasn't going to risk pushing him for answers and have him turn me away, so when he asked to just watch movies I nodded and simply sat with him and watched TV as I held his hand. That first night we sat close together on his couch, his heat making me feel lethargic as I watched the pictures without any concept of what was going on. His home was tiny, but sitting here on his couch with him, the place could have been a Palace and I wouldn't have noticed.

All I knew was that Paul was there and whether conscious, or subconsciously I was always aware of him being there. Of course when I happened a look up at him he appeared to be concentrating entire too hard on the movie.

That wasn't the only night we did that, after the first night of just being with him I returned each night and did homework while I waited for him to get home. I enjoyed his company and I bathed in the joy of feeling whole and having a purpose. Being able to do something, anything, for him made these exchanges more equitable. He gave me so much by letting me be there, and this was all I had to offer him in return.

As time went on, the awkwardness I normally felt around him was still there, but it grew less with every chance I had to see him. He'd said he was horrible at the friend thing, but the truth was he was fun to be around. I even cherished the times when we sat in silence because it was so much better than not being near him.

I was almost disappointed when the weekend rolled around. He had a second job that he didn't talk about much but the way they talked about patrolling when they thought I wasn't around, I figured he either worked for the reservation police or he moonlighted as a security guard. Either way, I knew he would tell me in his own time. One thing I had learned about Paul was that pushing him for answers only made him more stubborn.

"I won't take no for an answer," Kim said insistently pulling me out of my rumination. "Paul's been greedy with you, and I know he's busy tonight."

"Who's going?"

"Melissa and me, that's it, nothing complicated."

Melissa had been Kim's best friend for as long as she could remember, but she didn't get to spend as much time with her as she would have wanted because Kim spent so much time with Jared.

"And why are we going?"

"Did you listen to anything I said?" Kim teased, shuffling the phone on her shoulder, making a rustling sound down the line. "The school dance you're refusing to go to requires a certain dress code. I know you don't want to go but it'll be good for you to get out of town."

"What time?"

"We'll leave around two, Melissa doesn't get off work until one thirty."

I knew Paul was working until at least seven that night which really shouldn't have influenced my answer, but it did in so many ways. It seemed where Paul was concerned I wasn't willing to waste a second of time with him.

"That sounds good. I wanted to run into the bookstore there anyway. This saves me a trip."

"You're such a nerd."

"If you say so," I laughed, perching the phone on my shoulder so I could throw something at Charlie as he headed out the door. He turned to look at me and I held up one finger.

"Okay we'll swing by and pick you up, be ready woman."

"I will. Talk to you then." I hung up the phone and almost fell over when I tried to walk away. Somehow I'd managed to tangle myself in the phone cord.

Charlie chuckled and watched as I spun out of the wire and turned to face him with a grin. The prospect of keeping myself busy had cheered me up considerably.

"I'm going to Port Angeles with Kim and Melissa. I just wanted to let you know."

"You need some money?"

"No, sir, I still have some money left over from birthday and Christmas. Mom doesn't believe in suffocating someone's personal taste by making decisions for them."

"Of course she doesn't," Charlie said shaking his head with a knowing smile. "Just be careful and take your phone with you."

"Will do," I said looking at the clock. I still had a couple of hours to kill before they would be here to pick me up. "I'm leaving at two, but I shouldn't be too late."

"Just keep me posted. See you later, kid."

I gave him a nod and looked down at my phone again. Wondering whether a text telling Paul where I would be was overkill.

"He'll appreciate you letting him know," Charlie said as he disappeared out of the room. I listened as the door opened and closed before deciding he was right.

_Hey you. Just wanted to let you know I'm going to Port Angeles with Kim and Mel. Be back later. You still on for dinner tonight?_

I put my cell in my back pocket and went about my usual Saturday tidying the house and getting a head start on laundry. Charlie still tried to dissuade me from housework, but it was useless, I was a creature of habit and this was just one of those things that I needed to do to keep me occupied.

It didn't take long for Paul to respond, and even I was surprised by my goofy smile at seeing his name on my phone.

_Yes to dinner. Be careful in Port Angeles and stay close to Kim. Call me if you need me._

_Yes dad._ I typed back. _Will put oven on timer so dinner will be ready when you get here. Have a good day._

I wanted to end it with I miss you, but I was trying to be casual and not force him into something he wasn't ready for. It was the truth, but that didn't mean it was the right thing to say.

He sent a reply saying nothing but _smart-ass!_ So I left it at that so I wouldn't look needy. Even though I was more comfortable around him, it didn't mean that I wasn't constantly holding myself back so I wouldn't smother him.

When Kim finally showed up, I was outside waiting for her, I'd already finished everything I needed to do and I'd been pacing for the last thirty minutes waiting for her.

The ride to Port Angeles was filled with idle chatter from the two girls in the front. Melissa had been giving me a rundown of all the dances the res school had ever held and why it was so necessary to go to them. She didn't stop talking the entire drive to Port Angeles and halfway into running through the racks at the only department store in town.

She seemed nice enough, but her voice was grating on my nerves, and even Kim seemed to be exhausted.

"Guys, I'm going to head to the bookstore. Call me when you're ready to meet up."

Kim gave me an understanding nod and moved further away from Melissa and her idle chatter, while I headed for the door that were offering me liberation from the chatty Cathy that was raising her voice to reach Kim who was at least four racks away from her.

I'd almost made it to the doors when I saw it. I don't know why it made me think of Paul, but the sudden need to buy it for him overwhelmed me. It seemed to stem from the urge to please him, more than that I knew it would suit him.

The leather cuff was stressed to look vintage, attached to it was a beautiful watch face that seemed to have every dial anyone would ever need on a watch. I debated on whether to buy it for him, running my finger along the glass case and sighing.

When a sales person approached me, I found myself pointing it out and handing over the cash before really thinking about it. I'd never seen him wearing a watch so I knew I was taking a chance. I knew there was a possibility he could see it as something more than it was and not accept it, but oddly, it was a risk I was willing to take. I wanted him to do something nice for him.

I folded up the small bag and pushed it into one of the pockets as I approached the doors, the heavens had opened and unleashed some of the heaviest rain I'd seen yet. It may have rained constantly, but it was normally that hazy mist of water that seemed to work its way into every nook and cranny. This was different; these were thick, fat drops than came in a constant stream.

Before I was three steps out of the store, a huge black umbrella covered me, and a guy I semi recognized stood holding the handle above me. His crooked smile seemed to light up his face, but his eyes were cautious, and guarded. His messed red brown hair looked like he'd been playing with electricity.

"I know you."

He laughed rather than answering and seemed perfectly happy to be moving at the snails pace I was operating at. I wasn't exactly well balanced at the best of times, but in the rain it was like Bambi on ice.

"Common courtesy normally implies you state where I know you from," I said with a tinge of sarcasm.

"It'll come to you."

"You sure about that?" I asked, looking up at him. "For all you know I could be suffering from amnesia, in a case like that you could be waiting for a while."

"Are you always this sarcastic?"

"Only with strangers," I responded with a smirk of my own.

"Lets just say your puppy could have killed me had you not been there."

"My pup . . . You were in the forest."

He laughed and turned down the street I needed long before I'd even looked up to see whether I was going the right way.

"See, I told you it would come to you. You're the chief's daughter, right"

"You live in Forks?"

"Just outside. My dad's a doctor at the hospital," he said brushing his hair from his forehead and bringing my attention to his odd colored eyes. They were amber, almost gold, but the black of the pupil seemed to be bleeding into the color. It was the strangest looking thing I'd ever seen.

"Love your contacts. I would totally change my eye color if I needed glasses. Brown is very plain." _Except with the possibility of Paul's_. I thought to myself.

"I like your eyes," he said gently, his voice like liquid satin. He was a good-looking guy if I actually paid enough attention to really analyze him. His subtle muscles seemed to stand out against his sweater, and his square jaw was sharp and angular emphasizing his handsome features. His eyes seemed to carry more years than his physical age and I wondered, briefly, about his story.

"Thanks," I laughed, feeling a small blush rise in my cheeks. "So you go to Forks High?"

"Is it that obvious?" he chortled, fidgeting uncomfortably as he stepped closer to me. "How come I haven't seen you around?"

"I go to the school down on the reservation. My dad's best friend pulled some strings."

"That's unusual."

"Not really," I laughed, stopping outside the bookstore. "Especially when said best friend is pretty much the tribal chief."

He gave off another laugh and pushed open the door to the bookstore for me. I stepped in and was surprised when he closed the umbrella and stepped in behind me.

"I'm Edward," he said quietly as he walked past me. He'd leaned in so his smell enveloped me. It was intoxicating, and luring, but held nothing to what I felt when I was around Paul. Feeling a little uncomfortable at his closeness I backed away and wandered between some stacks, my fingers running along the spines of some literary classics.

When I pulled a book from the shelf, he leaned against the stacks next to the space the book had left behind. The copy I was holding was a complete works of William Shakespeare that was leather bound and the parchment was so thin it resembled wax paper. It was the very reason I had chosen this bookstore. They were all antiques and the smell was enough to set the hairs on the back of my neck tingling.

"See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand! O that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!" Edward quoted, his voice licking the articulation of old English as though he felt the words. "So, what's your name? I gave you mine."

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." I quoted back with a smirk. "You walked into that one, Edward."

He laughed a genuine laugh and tipped his head to the side, looking up at me from under his lashes. He was prompting me for an answer and I felt inclined to give it to him.

"My name is Bella."

He turned and playfully banged his head against the stacks, his hand gripping one of the shelves lightly, which only seemed to make me laugh. I wasn't sure why he was doing it but I was trying to hold out on asking, especially considering he was fishing for it.

"You know there's a comeback there, right?" he asked tipping his head to the side.

"Is this you fighting the urge?"

"You're so cold," he whined.

I laughed and wandered further down the isle, keeping hold of the Shakespeare book, which was definitely going to cost me, but I was going to get anyway.

"So, seeing as I don't have the pleasure of your company at school, would you be willing to accompany to a movie one night?"

I stopped. I'd never really had anyone flirt with me before and this slight battle of wits hadn't really struck me as a prelude to a date. I turned around slowly and let my eyes meet the amber of his. I had never intended for this to happen, it had just been nice to have a decent conversation.

"I'm sorry, Edward, I'm kind of seeing someone at the moment, but I appreciate the offer," I said honestly, shifting the book to my other arm as the weight began to create an ache.

"Kind of seeing someone?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "That's like saying almost blue."

"It's complicated, but it doesn't mean I want to see anyone else. I appreciate the gesture though."

"Will you at least take my number in case you change your mind?"

"You don't give up easily do you?" I teased, starting to walk again.

"What would be the fun in that?"

My phone chirped from my pocket and I fished it out, reading the text from Kim. They were checking out and asked me to meet them outside the store so I could go with them to the shoe store. Apparently Kim needed saving from the never-ending chatter of Melissa.

"I'm sorry. I have to go," I said, typing out a quick reply and stowing my phone in my pocket. I checked out and left the store, running as carefully as I could down the sidewalk toward the department store.

I crossed a small back street and tripped over the corresponding curb. I threw my arms out to catch myself, but I never hit the ground. Instead, two strong arms caught me around the waist and pulled me against a brick wall of a chest, cool breath washed over my shoulder with the sound of his laughter.

"Thank you," I squeaked, wriggling out of his arms and pulling down my jacket.

"No problem, it's probably a good thing I came after you."

"That's the worst excuse for stalking I ever heard," I said turning to face him.

"No," he chortled, holding out my phone. "This fell out of your pocket."

"Man I'm such a klutz. Thanks, Edward, it really was good to meet you."

"As it was you," he smiled, backing away from me. "I hope to see you again soon, Bella."

Then he was gone, jogging steadily through the rain in the opposite direction from me. His head down and his collar up as he headed into the driving rain that was coming down harder than it had all day.

Taking a breath I continued on my way to the department store.

Darkness was a veil on an already dark horizon as we headed back to Forks. The sheets of rain made it almost impossible to see out of the windows so we drove slowly, taking corners with caution. Kim was nervous about the lack of vision, but Jared's concerned calls seemed to keep her focused on the road ahead of her.

Melissa wasn't as talkative on the way back. Thankfully, she seemed to be more interested in the game she was playing on her phone. Neither Kim nor I complained.

When I got home, I knew Paul was there long before I was able to seem him, in my farewell to Kim and Melissa I could feel that familiar pull toward the house and I was eager to get inside and talk to him. It felt much longer than twenty-four hours since I'd last seen him.

Unfortunately, when I got inside it wasn't exactly the reception I had imagined.

The moment I walked in I knew something was wrong, Paul's body tensed, his shoulders rolling forward in a predatory manner as he shook. His eyes, normally so filled with gentleness when he looked at me, were filled with thunder.

"What?" I asked, concerned. Even Charlie was watching him with trepidation, his eyes flicking toward the two of us.

"Who?" Paul growled, pushing up from his seat and prowling toward me. "Who have you been with?"

"Kim and Melissa," I said, raising my eyebrows in question.

"No, Bella," he hissed, his trembling growing with every passing second. "Who else?"

"Easy, Paul," Charlie warned, pushing out of his chair. I looked between the two of them and stepped back from Paul's advance.

"Some guy stopped me from face-planting into the sidewalk. I met him in the bookstore earlier."

"Son of a bitch," Paul spat, brushing past me, sending small tingles up my spine.

"What? Where are you going?" I called as he threw the door open and took off into the rain. "Paul, wait!"

By the time I rounded the door-frame he was stood in the rain, his shoulders hunched as he shook. I dropped the bag with the book by the front door and leaped off the porch, landing with a stumble that could have been much worse if he hadn't been there to catch me.

His arms closed around me and pulled me into his hard chest. One hand moved to my neck as his forehead rested against mine.

"His scent is all over you, I can't stand it."

"What are you talking about?" I asked gently, my free hand running down his cheek. "Tell me what you mean."

"I have to go," he whispered, his shaking becoming worse.

"Talk to me, Paul."

"I can't, not about this."

"Why?" I whispered, letting my thumb brush under his eyes as the air between us crackled. There were so many emotions exploding around my body that I couldn't settle on just one. Something about that moment made me feel like I had to fight to keep the man I loved close. He was slipping away and I wasn't sure why or what had spooked him.

"Why you?" he said so quiet I wasn't sure I was meant to hear it. "You're so perfect."

Taking a risk, I pushed up onto my toes and pressed my lips against his, he moved to pull away, but before he could he fell into the moment, sweeping me up into his arms so we were the same height. I initiated everything in this kiss. My teeth pulled his bottom lip into my mouth making him gasp and giving me the opportunity to deepen the moment between us.

He moaned into my mouth, his hands squeezing my waist and thighs as cradled me to his chest. I could feel myself trembling against him, but it was nothing to do with the cold rain that filtered from the sky and washed over us. This was all emotion, this was everything I felt manifested into a physical, palpable being. It was then I knew I could never let him go, he was everything to me, he was my reason for being, my reason for breathing. I knew he didn't feel the same way, not yet anyway but i would wait for an eternity for him to realize it.

He broke from the kiss with a panting breath, his eyes darkened, but not with anger. He dropped me to my feet and stepped back, his hands holding mine as he created more space between us.

"Paul."

"I have to go," he said, his emotions causing a cyclone over his forehead. "I will be back."

I nodded and felt the void as he disappeared from his place in front of me. I wasn't sure exactly what had happened, but something in me had shifted. Whether I liked it or not I had finally admitted how I felt about him. Whether it was to the whole town or just myself, it didn't matter. The truth had set me free and gave me wings.

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><p><strong>Nostalgicmiss:<strong> Paul definitely isn't happy! Wonder where he's headed? Edward was definitely sneaky in his approach, but Bella's still clueless, poor thing. I'm guessing Paul's not going to take that well. Thank you to all of you for reading, alerting favoriting and of course reviewing. Your responses always blow us away and we appreciate everything you guys have to say. B, you are the best friend a girl could ask for. You're supportive and encouraging and I have no words to express how much I am thankful for you! I love you sister from another mister! Writing with you is, as always, a pleasure.

**Sabi'sSookie:** Paul is pissed for sure! And I know you guys are all dying to know what he's gonna' do about it… because you can bet he won't take this lying down! For all you lovers of jealous, possessive, angry, hot Paul… Yeah, he might just get a little… Shit, I always almost spill the beans! LOL! I want to thank every single one of you for all the love! I am so sorry I have been MIA, but know that I have read and loved every review! Some of you crack me up with your comments! And your passion for these characters just astounds me! I love you all! Shirtless Paul's for everyone! Weezy, you are most definitely my sister, and I love you to bits! I have been missing our chats like crazy, but I promise I'm having loads of fun, at least. Still wishing you were here with us, being all crazy! You are the most amazing human being on the planet! Much love, hunnie! ***MWAH***


	10. Chapter 10 Paul

**All recognizable names are the property of Stephenie Meyer. We just like playing dress up in her shoes.**

**This story is not suitable for those under the age of 18. It is rated M, so if you're not old enough to buy a pack of smokes… we don't wanna know!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 6 - Paul<br>**

_Yes it's true – Loneliness took me for a ride  
>Without your love – I'm nothing but a beggar<br>Without your love – A dog without a bone_  
><em><strong>Angel by Aerosmith<strong>_

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><p>My body tensed before my shoulders rolled and shook as my body fought to shift. This human form felt too confining, like I was trying to squeeze into a form far too small. The wolf snapped and snarled in the recesses of my mind as he struggled to get out. The smell of leech on my mate was almost too much for him to take.<p>

"What?" Her eyes darted between Charlie and me. Her brow was furrowed in fear and concern for me.

"Who?" I stood from my place on the couch and took measured steps toward her. My words came out through tightly clenched teeth. "Who have you been with?"

"Kim and Melissa." She raised her eyebrows in a silent question; probably wondering what the fuck was wrong with me.

"No, Bella," I wet my lips with my tongue hoping to regain the moisture they had lost when _his_ scent hit my nose. "Who else?"

"Easy, Paul," Charlie stood from his recliner, warning me to calm myself. But the anger I felt would not be denied. For his scent to linger that strongly on her he had to have touched her. And Bella… she was keeping it from me. She lied to me. She was with him. As if she could feel the anger pouring from my body she took a step back on shaky legs.

"Some guy stopped me from face-planting into the sidewalk. I met him in the bookstore earlier." That was what she was going with? She had seen him in the fucking woods! The wolf had growled at him... But I remembered that she had no idea that the wolf was anything other than some giant, mutant animal. My mind raced so fast that I wasn't even sure my thoughts were making sense.

"Son of a bitch," I growled. Proof that he fucking touched her. It was no fucking coincidence. There were no fucking coincidences when it came to fucking leeches.

All I could think was that I wanted to get to him and rip off his arms for even daring to touch her. She was _mine_! My Bella! My mate! And he dared to put his filthy hands on her!

"What? Where are you going? Paul, wait!" I could hear Bella calling me, and as much as I wanted to run as fast as possible to the fucker's house, she came first. Always.

I stopped dead in my tracks and heard the thump of her bag hitting the floor; the rain beating down on my back barely even registered. Her little feet moved faster than the rest of her body was prepared for and she stumbled. The anger faded slightly as I caught her small frame in my arms. Despite our difference in size, she seemed to fit perfectly in my arms and I took the time to let my forehead rest against hers. I fought hard to ignore the stench of leech that rolled off her body. It overpowered her fresh clean scent and I blew out a harsh breath through my nostrils.

"His scent is all over you, I can't stand it." I held back the tremors that ran through my body.

"What are you talking about?" Her sweet voice broke through my turmoil and she ever so gently stroked my cheek. "Tell me what you mean."

But every time I took another breath I could smell him and it caused my wolf to become increasingly more violent, fighting even harder than before to get out. If I didn't get away from Bella she would end up scarred like Emily, or worse.

"I have to go," I ground out as I was at war with my body.

"Talk to me, Paul." My angel's voice was full of worry for me, but I couldn't tell her. She would run, and I couldn't lose her.

"I can't, not about this." I shook my head rapidly.

"Why?" The tone in her voice made me look into her eyes and what I found there almost made me drop to my knees. There were so many emotions swirling in those eyes and the weight of them almost made me drop to my knees. She was perfect. Too perfect for me. Why did it have to be her that was stuck with me?

"Why you?" I whispered before I could stop myself. "You're so perfect."

Before I could do anything else, her soft lips were pressed against mine and I was in heaven. I fought back the sob that threatened to leave me at the emotion I felt pouring out of her in that kiss. Her arms shook as she struggled to hold herself to my height. Instinctively I wrapped my arms around her and lifted her into my arms. I poured every emotion I had for her into that one kiss. Our tongues tangled together in an almost desperate way. I felt the way she gently caressed me with her mouth and her hands, making me feel like something other than the monster that I was.

As loving as the moment was, I couldn't control the urges that she brought out in me. My dick strained against the khaki material of my shorts and I moaned loudly in her mouth. She was making the sexiest little sounds making it even more difficult to do what I knew I needed to, which was to pull away and handle the leech so I could get back to her.

As her body trembled against me I tasted the salt of a tear that she didn't even realize she shed. And in that very moment I knew that I couldn't fight what I felt for her. Sam used the word love, but there was no way that word encompassed what I felt for the beautiful creature that I held in my arms. I would give anything… be anything for her. Without her my life meant nothing and I was done wasting time. I would handle the leech and she would be right back in my arms. I allowed myself a few more seconds tasting her before I knew it was time to go.

When I pulled away I was panting with desire as well as the restraint it took to tear myself away from her.

"Paul." There was nothing more beautiful than her voice saying my name.

"I have to go," I told her, though everything in me rebelled against the very idea of being away from her.

"I will be back." I wanted her to know that I wasn't going anywhere. I wanted to convey to her exactly what I meant, but me and vocally expressing emotions didn't really go together. I would just have to show her when I was done dealing with the fucker who thought it was okay to put his hands on her.

With that determination in mind I gave her one last look and took off in the direction of the Cullen's home. I didn't even bother with the pretense of taking my bike because as soon as I hit the woods I stripped and shifted and was on my way. He must have been hunting because I ran into him about a mile from his house as he was burying the carcass of a deer.

"Edward!" A tinny voice screeched through the dark and a pixie-like leech appeared at his side, followed by the scarred bloodsucker. I didn't care about Ginger, but I respected the fuck out of the warrior that calmly walked to his side.

"You respect him?" Ginger barked out a laugh and looked between us as if he was trying to solve a riddle.

"We understand one another," Scarface answered him with a nod in my direction, causing his petite mate to glare up at him with her hands on her hips.

Then I realized that I was in wolf form and there was no way I could have spoken out loud.

"I read minds, mutt, and yours is an especially foul place to be." I smirked internally and replayed my most recent moments with Bella in my head for him to see. Fucker wanted to read my mind? I'd give him something to look at.

Apparently it worked because he lowered himself into a crouch and bared his teeth in a feral growl.

"Edward," Scarface warned.

"His name is Jasper, not Scarface," Ginger said before growling again.

"Scarface, huh? Good one!" _Jasper_ teased as if his coven member wasn't in attack mode. His mate, however was not nearly as amused and appeared right in front of me. I snorted to get her scent out of my nose and showered her with the cold spray.

She wiped it a way with a flourish and I inwardly chuckled at the look on her face.

"Now you listen here, mutt, my husband is Major Jasper Whitlock, and you don't deserve to lick the soles of his boots, but he seems to like you for some ungodly reason. But if you ever call him that again I will shock your balls with a cattle prod! You got me?" To be a dick, and at my own expense, I licked her on the cheek causing her mate to laugh loudly and myself to vomit.

"Ew! These are Monolo's! Jas, he got dog barf on my Monolo's!" Her little feet stomped and her mate laughed even harder.

Ginger decided he had enough of being ignored and warned the little pixie to move.

" _You wanna' do this, Ginger? Let's do it_," I growled in my mind.

"Make the first move, pup." Ah, so he wanted me to be the one to break the treaty. Fucker.

"_Look, if it weren't for the fucking treaty you would be nothing more that ash right now, but I am warning you. If you ever lay a finger on my mate again I will fucking rip you apart. Damn the fucking treaty._"

"What's wrong? Worried that she might prefer someone with some morals? Don't like the competition?" His smirk was almost enough to push me over the edge, and I probably would have attacked had Sam not phased and seen what was happening, giving me an order to leave the leech alone.

I tried to rebel. I wanted to taste his granite flesh between my teeth as I ripped off the arms that had been around my angel.

"_Touch her again and not even an alpha order will stop me_!" Sam again ordered me to get off the leech land and I turned and ran in the direction of my angel.

The adrenaline was still pumping through my body and I almost forgot to put the clothes back on that I had left near her house. Luckily I remembered because had I gone to her naked I probably couldn't have controlled myself.

As I dressed I thought about all the things I wanted to say to Bella. Of course, I knew I wouldn't be able to actually say them, but I wanted to let her know that I wanted to try with her. I wanted to let her know that I was hers and that I would do whatever I could to make her happy.

As if she could sense my presence she bolted out the front door and into my arms. Her fresh clothes were getting wet so I lifted her into my arms and carried her to the porch where I wrapped her legs around my waist and pressed my lips against hers and immediately she opened her mouth for me. I took full advantage and thrust my tongue into her mouth. My kiss was desperate and rough making my teeth clank with hers, but she showed no signs of minding it.

Bella's thighs clenched tightly around my waist and in the process brushed against the head of my dick.

"Fuck," I cursed into her mouth and I could feel the corners of her lips turn up as she made the same movement only more exaggerated.

"You're playing with fucking fire, angel," I growled at her making her giggle.

"But seriously, I want to talk to you about something." She noticed the change in my demeanor and indicated that we go into the house.

Before we could do any talking she insisted that I change into something dry of Charlie's. He laughed when he saw me in a pair of his sweats so tight on me that you could see _every "_muscle" in my body if you know what I mean. He was still chuckling as he threw a pillow at my lap and announced that he was going to bed. Although I didn't miss the loaded look that he shot me telling me it was time to tell her about why I was… well, the way that I was.

When Bella came back into the living room I was leaned forward with my elbows on my knees and my face in my hands.

"What's going on, Paul?" Her hands traced the scars on my back reverently.

"I want to be with you, Bella." Her sharp intake of breath and the pause in the movement of her hands told me I had her full attention.

"But?" She asked cautiously.

"But before that can happen I need you to know why you shouldn't be with me. I need to tell you about," I indicated to my scarred body.

Bella swallowed thickly and nodded for me to go ahead.

"The bastard beat me for years. It was always worse on the anniversary of my mother's death, but the night _this_ happened…"

_I was ten and had been taking his abuse for four years. One beating was the same as the other, and I learned to make myself numb. I would go to a place deep in my mind where my mom was still alive and my father wasn't an abusive asshole._

_He loved my mother more than anything and her death killed everything about him that was human. When she died, so did his love for me. He always said I looked just like her and he hated me for it. People had always told me what a great man my dad had been before my mother died. He was kind and generous and they said he was amazing with me. I don't remember that, all I remember is the way he would come home drunk with some random woman and after he fucked her he beat me. It was like he blamed me._

_So, it was the sixth anniversary of my mom's accident and he came home more plastered than usual._

"_Come here you stupid little fucker!" His voice slurred and he stumbled, falling over the back of the couch. I was a kid, so of course it was funny. I tried to hide the giggle but he heard me._

"_Think that's funny you little shit?" I shook my head but the back of his hand meeting my cheek showed me that nothing I said would matter. He usually stayed away from my face, but something about that night was different. His eyes were wild as he pounded on my frail body._

_I tried to retreat into my mind, but the pain was too bad. He threw me around like a ragdoll. He had broken my wrist the year before from shoving me of the front porch. Lucky for him it was during the summer and there was no one to see me and report him. This time, however, I couldn't hold in my screams. Not when he broke out his old whip. My mother had gotten it for him when they went on vacation to some cheesy dude ranch. I tried to make myself as small as possible, but the whip seemed to reach places I thought were hidden. When my back was split open in several places, I tried to run. He snatched me back and went to work on my chest._

"Your dad responded to the call from the neighbors and when he got there I was unconscious and the fucker was still beating me with that fucking whip. Your dad kicked his drunk ass after he made his deputy load him up in the car he rode with me in the ambulance to the hospital."

I didn't dare look at Bella's face for fear of what I might see. I couldn't keep going if I looked into those eyes.

"I remember waking up a few times a few days after and Charlie was always there. He used to tell me about you, you know." I wanted her to know that she was always on his mind, even when he was caring for me.

I paused and picked at the dirt under my fingernails then got the courage to look her in the eye.

"Bella, I have grown up to believe that falling in love made you a monster and I swore that I would never let anyone into my heart because of it. I've used girls for sex and thrown them away without a second thought. You have no idea of the repulsive things I've said and done… but I've been going to therapy because I want to be better… for you."

Bella said nothing for a few moments, but I could hear her heart thumping wildly in her chest. I knew that she was repulsed and feeling defeated, I stood to leave. It seemed to wake her up from whatever she was thinking and her arms wrapped tightly around me.

"Oh, Paul," she cried and began placing feather light kisses on every scar on my chest that she could reach. "Love doesn't make you a monster. Your father was just a sick, demented man who lived in a bottle and took out his anger on a little boy. That could _never_ be you, Paul."

I closed my eyes tightly to hold back the tears I felt gathering.

"_Men don't cry, son,"_ My bastard of a father had always said after he beat me.

"Do you want to know how I know, Paul?" I nodded, still too choked up to speak.

"I see _you_, Paul. Not who you think you are, and not the Paul you show to everyone else. And you know what else?" She didn't wait for me to answer. "If you were a monster you wouldn't have tried to protect me from you. You would have taken what you wanted from me. You wouldn't have gone to therapy, and you wouldn't try so damn hard to be good for me."

Finally I looked into her eyes and there was no pity or repulsion. There was only an emotion that I was too terrified to put a name to, but it was enough for me. In a second I had her underneath me on the couch as I kissed her with every ounce of passion I could muster.

_I love you, I love you, I love you._

It was the mantra in my head that I wouldn't say out loud, but I tried to make her feel it. Before long I my whole body was trembling with need. Bella seemed to know exactly what I needed without me saying a word as she began to move underneath me. My heightened senses allowed me to smell her arousal as well as feel it through her thin flannel pajama pants.

"Oh… shit… I need…" I was panting and not making a lick of sense but my talking was cut off when I realized that she wasn't wearing a fucking bra underneath her t-shirt. She moaned into my mouth when my hand grazed the side of her breast and I took it as a sign to go ahead. They were small and perky with the tiniest little nubs of nipples I had ever felt. She picked up the pace of her hip movements and I had never wanted to touch someone so badly in my entire life.

"Paul," my name came out sounding like a plea and I wanted so badly to make her come. But the sound of Charlie's cell phone ringing and his muffled hello snapped me out of it pretty quickly. He liked me and all, but I had a feeling he would shoot me if he caught me with my hand down his daughter's pants.

"Angel, we have to stop," the words burned my tongue and she looked up at me, rejection swimming in her eyes.

"Charlie's awake and uh…" She seemed to snap out of her desire filled haze and turned a beautiful shade of red.

"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are? How much I want to touch you… taste you… mark you as mine." Her pupils dilated and she looked ready for round two but then Charlie's mumbled voice said my name from his room and I knew it was a warning. Sam couldn't get me or Bella and had called him.

_Cock-blocking mother fucker._

Charlie stomped loudly as he came down the stairs while Bella and I straightened ourselves up. Charlie's eyes darted between us and if such a thing was possible he was blushing more than Bella. I couldn't help it and burst into laughter. Bella elbowed me in the ribs as her face turned almost purple.

Charlie cleared his throat.

"Sam needs you, son. And, uh, remember what I said when I told you Bella was coming?" I nodded and swallowed hard.

"Well, that still stands." I would have been more afraid had I not seen the smirk underneath his mustache when he turned to walk back up the stairs.

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><p><strong>Sabi'sSookie: So, was it what you guys were waiting for? Was Paul's story what you expected? He believes that his father's love for his mother then her loss is what turned him into a monster and he was afraid it would mean the same thing for him. Poor Paul. I want to thank you all for all the love by way of alerts, favorites, and reviews! Sorry I haven't had time to respond, but being on vacation keeps me busy! But I do read and appreciate every review! You guys ROCK! And Weezy… forst of all, yesterday was her birthday! So give her some love people! Now, to my bestie, you know I love you to pieces and as much fun as I am having, I am missing our usual constant chatter! You are amazing and wonderful and a whole bunch of other things that I won't make our readers read… because the list is long! I love you bestie!<strong>

**Nostalgicmiss: **Poor Paul, he hates himself so much because of what happened to him as a child. It's so sad that he looks at love as though it is something that will ruin him rather than set him free. His father was a terrible example for him to look to. You know poor Bella's heart is bleeding for him right now, but at the same time she can see how strong he is through it all. I want to thank all of you for reading, alerting, adding us to your favorites and for the amazing reviews. You're all amazing and I appreciate all the love you send our way! To my best friend and twinnifer, I miss the snot out of you! But I am so glad you're having fun! I love you loads and loads! You're an amazing, intelligent, funny, kind . . . I can go on and on ;) . . . I love you bestie! And I miss you loads!


	11. Chapter 11 Bella

**All recognizable names are the property of Stephenie Meyer. We just like playing dress up in her shoes.**

**This story is not suitable for those under the age of 18. It is rated M, so if you're not old enough to buy a pack of smokes… we don't wanna know!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 6 - Bella<br>**

_And you, you knew the hand of the devil  
>And you, kept us awake with wolves teeth<br>Sharing different heartbeats  
>In one night<br>**Heartbeats by Jose Gonzales**_

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><p>I retreated into the house as soon as he was out of sight. I felt the loss of him almost immediately as the sound of his footsteps faded into the tree line. I wasn't sure how to handle the situation. I had a feeling he was angry but I couldn't put the why to it, which left me where?<p>

Once again I was left feeling lost in his wake, but at least he was coming back. His words had rang with a promise he hadn't had to reassure me of, because I felt it in every crevice of my body.

"Bella, you're soaking," Charlie said from behind me, the concern in his voice more than evident. I could hear the creaking of his recliner as I pushed the door closed.

"It's raining," I said numbly.

"Well I can see that, but maybe you should go and take a shower and change?"

Now that Paul was gone, I ran his words through my head and tried to understand what he'd been so upset about. How had he known I had talked to Edward? How could he have possibly known that he'd even touched me? Was there cologne that I couldn't discern on my jacket?

None of it made any sense, but I robotically picked up my bag and moved to the stairs. With one last look at Charlie to reassure him I was, indeed, fine, I made my way to my room and stripped. Leaving everything I was wearing on the floor by my feet.

Picking up my towel I headed into the bathroom and turned the water on warm before climbing in and scrubbing myself clean. If Paul was coming back I wouldn't have him be upset because of a smell of someone helping me out.

Just to make sure it was never going to happen again, I took the wet pile of clothes and headed downstairs, holding the bundle as far from my body as I could get it. Thankfully I had the sense to empty the pockets before I dumped it in the washer and hit start.

Holding the box the watch came in; I examined it carefully, analyzing it as I pictured it on his wrist. I had such a strong vision of him in my head that I held it there, neglecting everything but the picture of him in my minds eye. I could see so clearly the water running from the tips of his hair and over his shoulders as he looked at me with those eyes.

Then, as though he'd called my name, I was aware of him just as much as I ever was. the knowledge he was close almost intrinsic as I felt that pull to him. I ran to the front door, starling Charlie but uttering only one word as I passed.

"Paul."

He seemed to settle back into his chair as I darted through the door and hopped the porch for the second time in one night. My feet didn't seem to carry me half as fast as I wanted them to, so I launched myself into his arms the moment I was close enough, my chest releasing all the air as I came against his powerful body.

The rain fell around us in sheets, but I was oblivious to the cold when I was this close to him. His warm body wrapped around me was all I would ever need on a cold night.

He lifted me into his arms and walked us to the porch without a word, but I could see the intensity in his eyes, felt it in his touch and the shudder that spontaneously moved through his body.

The moment we were on the Porch, my legs were around his waist, and his lips were against mine. He wasn't gentle and reverent as he'd been last time, this was urgent and necessary, his teeth nipping and pulling before he moved his tongue deep in my mouth in a possessive, needy motion.

I was so lost in his touches I found my body reacting of it's own accord, my thighs tightened around his muscular body with need. It was then I knew exactly how aroused he was. Not only could I feel him, but the expletive he rolled with his tongue confirmed it.

Feeling more powerful than I had in my life and possessed with the fire that raged through my body, I chanced repeating the action with more fervor. I ground into him feeling more than I'd anticipated.

His lips pulled away from mine and moved to my ear so he could growl out a warning that made gentle fingers of pleasure roll up my spine. I was desperate for him to kiss me with that much need again, but the moment had passed, leaving the tempestuous air to cool between us.

He wanted to talk, and he confirmed as much, his voice a little cooler than the growl he'd used previously. Unable to speak, I pointed to the door, and immediately missed his warmth as he lowered me to the ground. Without his body heat, I was freezing cold and he let me lead us into the house, where I refused to do anything until we dried off. Both of us were saturated so I threw him some of Charlie's clothes from the laundry room and left him to change, while I got into my flannel PJ's and old t-shirt.

Charlie was stood outside my door as I came out, his face calm filled with that understanding I couldn't place.

"I'm headed to bed. Not too late."

"Yes, sir," I replied gently, not arguing, even though it was the weekend. "See you in the morning."

Charlie nodded and turned away from me, but I could have sworn I'd seen a smile making his mustache twitch. He headed into his room and pushed his door closed behind him without another word. I gave the door a nod of respect and appreciation, I really hadn't given my dad the praise he deserved. Taking a deep breath, I headed down the stairs and padded my way into the living room, where I found Paul on the couch with his head in his hands.

He looked so young sitting there like that I wanted to reach out and touch him, but I stifled the need and instead moved to sit next to him. In the dim light I could see the scars on his back sitting in rigid lines, casting gentle shadows over his unmarred skin.

"What's going on, Paul?" I asked, unable to fight the temptation of touching him in any way I could. My fingers ran down the lines of the scars feeling the heat pulse gently under my touch. Whatever had done this; had hurt him, mentally as well as physically, it was just another inclination that I didn't need confirmation on.

"I want to be with you, Bella," he said quietly. My breath was pulled into my lungs by a sharp intake, and for a second I wanted to ignore the 'but' that hung unspoken at the end of the sentence, however, wasn't that what this was about?

"But?" I asked anyway, prompting him to continue.

"But before that can happen I need you to know why you shouldn't be with me. I need to tell you about that," he said with a general motion to his body that was marred with the puckered pink lines.

I knew it wasn't going to be easy to hear, but when he started talking, my heart bled for him. Such a small child brutalized by the one person in the world that was supposed to love him unconditionally. His protector had turned abuser and had left him scarred, and not just with the welted lines burned into his skin, it went deeper than that. It went to his very soul.

He ended explaining that my dad had been the one to arrive on the scene, and I'd never been more thankful that he was a cop in my life. He was the only one that could have shown Paul the compassion and love he needed to get through that. For a man of little words, Charlie Swan had a starling ability to make you feel wanted. I'd known that the moment I'd stepped off the plane, and here again it was being confirmed.

"I remember your waking up a few times a few days after that," I said gently, recalling the memory that I had buried so long ago. "And Charlie was always there. He used to tell me about you, you know?"

I remembered those days, they stuck out to me, because I though my dad had replaced me, and even though I hadn't wanted to deny a little boy that needed him, I couldn't stop myself from feeling as though I had been shut away. In those early years, those were the few days he'd missed his nightly phone call to me. Being eight that was the kind of thing that stuck with you.

Paul refused to look me in the eyes and picked at his fingers instead, the shame was rolling off him in waves as he tried to do the impossible and tell me how he felt. He was so much like Charlie and me in that respect. He was trying so hard to find the words to explain this to me.

"Bella," he started, his mouth forming my name with those full lips. "I have grown up to believe that falling in love made you a monster and I swore that I would never let anyone into my heart because of it. I've used girls for sex and thrown them away without a second thought. You have no idea of the repulsive things I've said and done . . . But I've been going to therapy because I want to be better . . . For you."

It took a couple of seconds to get past the part with the other girls, I had to admit that even to myself. The only way I could rationalize it in my own head was that I didn't know him then, that wasn't the Paul I knew; that wasn't _my_ Paul. Beyond that, the words formed and morphed into so much more. I understood what he was saying. He loved me, and he thought he would never be good enough for me.

These scars of his that ran so deep made him see what love could do to a person, they had made him bitter and angry but that wasn't who he was with me. When I looked at Paul I didn't see the scars on his body, I saw him and who he was. I saw the man that no one else could see. He was beautiful and gentle, tormented and deep. The love I felt for him rang through my body like a wildfire and I wanted to help him, I wanted to make him see the person he was.

With a sigh, he got up and I realized that he'd taken my silence as a dismissal, he loathed himself and his past so much that he couldn't see the way I felt. He'd misread me.

I reached out to him, my arms wrapping around his defined body and I pulled myself closer, willing him to feel the emotions that were running through me.

"Oh, Paul," I said with all of the love I felt for him. My lips brushed against the welts on his skin as I willed the pain into myself so I could free him from the bond to his past. "Love doesn't make you a monster. Your father was just a sick, demented man who lived in a bottle and took out his anger on a little boy. That could _never_ be you, Paul."

He closed his eyes as the emotions he tried so hard to hide creased his brow. I knew he was strong, I knew that he didn't like to show his weaknesses like this so I sat still and let him work through it. When the battle looked painful, I shifted so I could see his face.

"Do you want to know how I know, Paul?" I asked, shifting closer to him, fighting the need to touch him in case it wasn't what he wanted. He nodded, taking a deep breath with the action so his emotions wouldn't spill from him.

"I see _you_, Paul." I said liberating the realization I'd come to. "Not who you think you are, and not the Paul you show to everyone else. And you know what else? If you were a monster you wouldn't have tried to protect me from you. You would have taken what you wanted from me. You wouldn't have gone to therapy, and you wouldn't try so damn hard to be good for me."

He looked up at me, his eyes sparking open and searching my face for the answers he'd fought so hard to find in himself. It killed me to think he believed he wasn't good enough for me. Especially when he was the one person in the world that gave me a purpose, made me feel whole and complete. He was the one person that I knew would protect me from anything.

Before I could suck in another breath, I was on my back on the couch, his lips against mine. I could feel the emotions running from him in waves as he pushed deeper with his lips. There was so much passion, so much truth in the way our lips connected that I found myself pushing deeper against him in a need for more.

It felt so right to be with him like this, the whole world melted away and there was only him and I and this moment we had together.

He pushed into me gently, his lips leading mine in an intricate dance. I could feel him everywhere, his heat enveloped me as his hands caressed and explored with so much reverence I could barely pull in a breath.

His body was a trembling mass hovering over me with so much need I did the only thing I knew how to do, my body fit like his and moved in motion with his as I felt every part of his masculinity working against me making my skin shimmer with an electrical charge.

He muttered from above me as we moved together. Then his hands moved up, grazing my breasts and making my body react of it's own accord. I was aware that I was making sounds, but when his hands cupped me and tweaked the flesh I could think of nothing but him, being with him, showing him everything I felt when we were together like this.

"Paul." It was the only word that made sense to me. It was the only word that sang like a bird from my heart. He was everything I would ever want and I needed him to know that. I needed him to feel that.

"Angel, we have to stop," he choked and the reality of the situation came crashing down on me. Had he changed his mind? Was I not what he wanted after all? "Charlie's awake and uh . . ."

I felt my cheeks burn as the reality washed over me. My dad was upstairs and I was on his couch trying to convince a guy to go to third base with me.

"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" he asked looking hungry and predatory. "How much I want to touch you . . . Taste you . . . Mark you as mine."

I could feel my body reacting to his words as though attached with an invisible string that would do his bidding without question. Charlie's heavy footsteps on the stairs finally snapped me into consciousness and had me arranging my clothes and hair before pulling my legs to my chest and hoping I looked innocent. When Charlie came around the corner with pink cheeks Paul broke into a fit of laughter that had me elbowing in an attempt to get him to gain some control.

"Sam needs you son. And, uh, you remember what I said when I told you Bella was coming?" Charlie asked, his eyes resting solely on Paul. Paul sobered up and swallowed. Nodding his reply.

"Well, that still stands," Charlie said, hiding his smile behind his mustache, I had a feeling he did that a lot. I wasn't sure what they were talking about but I had an idea. Saving face, I decided it was better not to ask, even as Charlie retreated up the stairs and closed his door behind him.

"That wasn't awkward," I said rolling out of the fetal position I'd managed to get myself in before Charlie had rounded the corner.

Paul leaned forward and brushed my lips with his as they curled into a smile. I knew he had to go but I was so desperate for him to stay.

"I have to go," he said, placing another chaste kiss on my lips. "Can I come see you tomorrow?"

I nodded and smiled, happy that he seemed to be initiating the contact between us now. Paul got up, which only served to make me blush as the tight pants showed a little more than I had been ready to see at that moment.

"Um . . . do you need your shorts and shirt?" I asked, blushing wildly and ducking my head.

"Yeah please, I'd never live it down showing up in these," he laughed, not even realizing the general area he was pointing to. I got up and walked toward the laundry room, leaning against the wall the minute I was out of view.

I knew the smile I was wearing could have lit up the forest, and as my hands clutched at the t-shirt over my chest, I tried to get a grip of myself. This was probably one of the best nights of my life and I couldn't have been happier that Paul was the one I had shared it with.

As I opened the dryer, I pulled out his shorts and shirt and noticed the watch sitting on top, staring at me as though challenging me to do it. I had bought it for him and I would have to give it to him eventually.

Clutching his clothes in one hand, and the box in the other. I made my way back in to the living room and handed him his clothes, standing around awkwardly as he disappeared to get dressed.

When he reappeared, I steeled my nerves, and followed him to the door, holding it open as he gave me one last kiss goodnight. I held out the box and pushed it into his hand as he started to walk away.

"What's this?"

"Open it later. I saw it and thought of you."

My heart pounded in my chest as he looked down at it with fascination. The way he regarded it I was sure the box would be good enough for him at this point.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" he asked.

I nodded my confirmation and smiled as he leaned in to kiss me yet again. Much more of that and I wasn't going to be willing to let him leave.

"Goodnight, Paul."

"Oh it's a good night," he laughed, jumping from the porch and heading into the night without another world. I closed the door and locked it, leaning against the cool wood as I replayed the kiss, and his touch over and over in my head. There was no way I was going to be able to resist him the next time I saw him. And I had a feeling he knew it too.

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><p><strong>Nostalgicmiss: <strong>Paul is such a charmer when he makes the effort. Poor Bella is powerless against his manly ways! Hell, at this point who wouldn't be? At least they were able to work through their issues and be a little more open with one another. Bella still has no clue what he is, but now they've decided to try and have a relationship I think there's a time limit on that! Thank you so much to all of you that read, alerted, added the story to your favorites and of course reviewed. You're comments on this still blows our minds and we love every single one of you for it. You're all amazing! Sabi, you're my BFF and Twinnifer and I love you loads! Writing with you is always an amazing experience and I'm just so glad to have you in my life! I miss you, but I am glad you're having fun! Love you! MWAH!

**Sabi'sSookie:** Weezy is right, Paul is definitely a charmer with his caveman ways! Yum! Am I right, ladies? And I know many of you are concerned with the wolf/vampire thing… Paul wants her to care for him enough not to run when she finds out. He thinks that if she really learns to care for him then she won't leave him when she finds out. I know! He should have more faith in Bella! And he also wants her to be sure of her feelings without the pressure of the imprint. But no worries, it will happen! I am so sorry I haven't had time to respond to all your reviews, but know that I read and love every one! You always amaze me with your thoughts! And thanks to all those who alert, favorite and just simply read! Weezy, as much fun as I am having, I miss my bestie loads! You are my bestie and definitely my beloved Twinnifer! I am so blessed to have you in my life as my friend and my partner-in-crime! Writing with you is always one of the best parts of my day! Love you! ***SMOOSHES***


	12. Chapter 12 Paul

**All recognizable names are the property of Stephenie Meyer. We just like playing dress up in her shoes.**

**This story is not suitable for those under the age of 18. It is rated M, so if you're not old enough to buy a pack of smokes… we don't wanna know!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 7 Paul<br>**

_I made a mistake, I wish I could take  
>Back everything that I did<br>I wanted to tell you, I really did  
>But how do I explain this?<br>**Red Light Pledge by Silverstein**_

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><p>A watch.<p>

My angel gave me a fucking watch. And as much as I hated the idea of her giving me anything other than time with her… and maybe some hot monkey love… she really picked something that fit me. I looked at it where it sat on my wrist, gently tracing the face. Just knowing that it was something from _her_ made it my most prized possession.

I couldn't remember anyone giving me a gift for no reason since before the death of my mother. Charlie tried, bless him, but anyone could tell you that I'm not very gracious when it comes to taking what I considered to be handouts. Sure, I knew Charlie cared about me, but I was so deep in the self-hatred that my father had instilled in me that I really and truly thought that I didn't deserve it. I still had issues with it, but Faith would kick my ass if she heard that shit. Billy understood and respected my wishes, but Charlie always tried. I would end up leaving whatever gift he gave in his cruiser with a thank you, but no thank you. Sometimes I thought it hurt his feelings a little, but mostly I think he just hurt for me. But with Bella I knew that I couldn't deny her gift even if I wanted to. Not only did it seem to please her to give me something, but it was mine… from her. If nothing else, I would always have that. A precious reminder that she cared about _me_.

"Paul!" The timbre of Sam's alpha tone snapped me out of my reverie.

"What?" I snapped as the rest of the pack chuckled, unused to seeing me in a daze.

"Screw you all!" I snarled, but couldn't hide the smirk on my face. It felt good to fucking have a reason to smile.

"Yes, well, as I was saying, we're having a bonfire tomorrow night, and since you seem to have finally accepted your imprint I was thinking you could invite Bella." My eyes widened at the thought of her finding out about the pack. All the other imprints knew, but I was struggling with just the idea of her accepting me as Paul the man. I wasn't prepared to see how she felt about being with a guy that morphed into a giant vampire-killing wolf. Although she seemed to like me in my wolf form. Maybe I would go see her later. Let her get used to me that way too.

Sam must have sensed my panic. "You can bring her by and we'll tell the legends but no one will reveal just how true they are." There was an alpha command in that statement and everyone nodded in agreement.

"It could get her used to the idea, Paul. We won't linger on the wolf topic for long, but maybe it will plant the thought into her head for when the time comes to really tell her?" I nodded even though the thought that she could run screaming made me want to vomit.

"Now that we've decided that… I think you need to fill the rest of the pack in on how you almost broke the treaty." I growled at Sam.

"Yeah, well, how would you feel if a leech took an interest in Emily?" I then turned to Jared and Quil "Or Kim, or Claire? If you smelt their stench all over your mate? If one of them touched your imprint?"

The pack all shuddered at the mere thought. It was repulsive.

"We allow them to live because they don't hunt humans, but how far should I let him take this? After their first date? Or maybe after he's fucked her? Oh, I know! How about after he's turned her into one of them?" I stood and shook so hard that the house shook with me.

Sam was a decent alpha, but the rules he had for himself were different from the rules he set for everyone else. If it had been Emily that the Ginger leech was hell-bent on having Sam would have ripped him apart first and asked questions later. Treaty be damned. But of course we're all a lot more rational when the danger involves someone else's mate.

"We have to find some way to keep him away from her, Sam. There has to be something we can do." As much as I loathed the way Jake felt for my mate, I agreed with him 100%.

"Her house is on their land. The best we could hope for without war would be to make it neutral territory. We've discussed this." Sam's eyes rolled as Emily smacked him in the back of the head with a wooden spoon that was usually reserved for Quil and me. I couldn't hold in the laugh that escaped my lips at his expense.

"Samuel Uley! Paul's right! What if it was me? Would you just let it go so easily?" Her eyes narrowed and he looked like a scorned puppy under her gaze.

"Em," he began, hit tone patronizing, earning him another whack.

"Don't you Em, me! Paul has never asked you for a damn thing! He always takes extra shifts and never complains! And who helped with me with my scars when you had to patrol? Now, you figure something out and you do it quick. I love you, baby, but pretend for a moment that Bella was me. Only she doesn't have the knowledge to know why she should stay away from the Cullens. She's flying blind here and lives off the res. Think, baby, you can find a way."

"If Paul would just fucking tell her," Sam growled petulantly and I growled back.

"Paul," Emily warned.

"Fine," I huffed, "I'll be quiet, but I can't tell her… not yet." Emily nodded before looking to Sam with a raised eyebrow.

"I'll see what I can do," he said with a frustrated sigh.

I left after agreeing to bring Bella to the bonfire. It would be our first outing as a "couple". At least I hoped we'd be a couple. Bella would have all night to process everything I had said to her and really, truly understand just they type of man she was dealing with.

The night was long, and I barely slept with the anticipation of seeing her again. Of touching her, holding her… tasting her sweet lips.

_Dammit, now I'm hard again._

When the morning came I rushed as fast as my crappy car would take me. She had dark circles under her eyes, but a bright smile on her face. Apparently she hadn't slept any better than I had.

_Did she miss me the way I missed her or did she spend all night thinking about what I told her? Is she just smiling to soften the blow? Shit…_

My self-deprecating thoughts came to a screeching halt as she wrapped her slender arms around my neck and squeezed as hard as she could. Her feet dangled off the ground as she hung on like a little monkey. Once the shock wore off I squeezed her as tightly as I could without hurting her. Her scent swirled around me. She still slightly smelled of me from the night before.

"So, I take it you're not running away screaming?" I teased, but inside the worry was still there.

Bella simply held me tighter and wrapped her legs around my waist so that she had a better hold on me.

"Paul," she narrowed her eyes as she spoke, letting me know that she was serious. "What you told me last night only shows me how strong you are. You survived and now you're strong enough that no one can ever hurt you again."

_No one but you, angel._

"Angel, I'm glad you have so much faith in me, but I still don't think you realize just what a bastard I am. Did you forget the part where I told you about all the girls? How I used them up and threw them away?"

She rolled her eyes and sighed. "No, I heard you, and if we're going to have… whatever this is between us, that will all have to stop. I'm not naïve enough to believe that you will change for me, but I care enough about myself to tell you that I'm not the kind of girl to share."

She smirked and I smiled back.

"Has there…" She gulped and blushed. "Has there been anyone since we've…"

"No," I answered. I had met Bella, but we hadn't kissed and had barely spoken. Deep down I knew that I should probably have told her, but hindsight is always 20/20, I suppose. I just really didn't think it was relevant, as it would never be happening again.

Her smile grew wider and she pecked me sweetly on the lips before sliding down my body. And as much as it made me feel like a pussy, I missed her body being on mine. Not that I'd ever admit it out loud.

"Come on, let's go inside," She took my hand and I followed behind her like the lovesick pup I was.

"Where's Charlie?" I asked.

"Uh, he said something about some missing hikers?" For some reason that made my wolfy senses tingle, but I ignored it. Focusing on my angel was much more important.

I sat on the couch and Bella sat next to me but I wasn't having that. She wasn't close enough there. I wanted her in my lap… in my arms. She giggled when I sniffed along the length of her neck.

"So, tell me something about you," she said after we had been silent for a few minutes. I raised an eyebrow.

"You didn't hear enough bad shit last night?" I chuckled and she gave me a stern look.

"You told me about your past. I want to know about you now. What do you like to do for fun?"

"Uh, you really don't want me to answer that," We both cringed, knowing exactly what I was implying. "Look, I told you, I'm not a good guy. I don't do honorable shit. I don't help little old ladies across the street, I screw their daughters and granddaughters."

"Screwed," my angel interjected, putting a heavy emphasis on the past tense of the word.

"Right," I nodded, smiling at her bossy tone.

"There has to be something you do. When it's just you and there's no one around." I wiggled my eyebrows and moved my hand in the jacking off motion.

"I'm being serious!" She blushed and slapped my chest.

"Uh, I play a little guitar?" It came out like a question because no one had ever actually seen me do it. The strumming and the rhythm relaxed me.

"Will you play for me soon?" Bella bit her bottom lip, making her even more irresistible.

_Like I can deny her anything_.

"Oh, angel, you have no idea what I will do for you." It came out sounding a lot dirtier than I thought because Bella blushed and let out that sexy giggle again. I just shrugged and went with it.

"Uh, the pa… the guys are getting together for a bonfire tonight. Emily, Sam's finance' hasn't had the chance to meet you yet and she really wants to. I was hoping maybe you would like to go?"

_Please say no. Please say no. Please say no._

The longer I kept her away from the pack the more time I had before she realized what a monster she was really dealing with. Not to mention the fact that the guys… and the girls wouldn't have nice things to say about me. Maybe it would be better to have her hear everything early on. Maybe it would hurt less when she eventually left.

"Sure, we can go," I just nodded, not wanting to talk about it anymore.

"How about I take you to breakfast, angel?"

"Okay, but I should probably get dressed first." She looked down at her pajamas.

"Hmmm, I don't know, I kind of like you like this."

Bella rolled her eyes and hopped off my lap before tripping her way up the stairs and to her room. I heard the rustling of clothes as she changed and a flash of her pale flesh flashed through my mind. I recalled with perfect memory how she felt and painted a perfect picture in my head of how she looked in nothing at all. I must have gotten lost in my thoughts because she was standing in front of me fully dressed.

After a short drive in which we cast smiling glances at one another we ended up seated in the corner of Fork's only diner as we were waited on by a waitress whose tits were falling out of her top. She kept licking her lips and winking at me. She looked like she was suffering from some sort of seizure the way her eyes blinked rapidly. Her heavy eye makeup was paired with thick, clumpy mascara. I couldn't tell if she was winking at me or all the makeup just made it impossible not to blink. But by the way she was pushing her tits in my face, I guessed she was making a poor attempt at flirting with me. In front of my girl. It was a bitch move and pissed me off.

"Um, are you all right? You're not having some sort of fit are you?" I asked as she winked at me for the 100th time. Bella giggled as the waitress stomped off.

"If she spits in my fucking food I'm sending you to kick her ass," I mumbled to Bella.

"Me? And what makes you think I could kick her ass?" She asked, one half of her mouth crooking up in an adorable grin.

"Because you're my ma… um, all you'd have to do is pop her fake tits, babe. She'd go down in a heartbeat." Bella's eyes narrowed.

"What were you going to say?" She asked.

"Nothing. Look, Tits Magee is bringing our food!" I had never been more thankful for an interruption in my life.

The waitress practically threw my food in my lap. "Next time you fuck a girl maybe you should at least look at her face," the waitress spat.

My appetite was gone as I was reminded of just what a shit I was in front of my angel. Bella's warm eyes appraised me for a moment after the waitress stomped off.

"The past, Paul. But I'm sad for you… and for all the girls. I mean, did you ever think that she's someone's daughter, or sister, or friend? Those women don't mean anything to you, but they mean _something_ to _someone_. Maybe all she wants is an apology."

My girl was so fucking sweet and I had no idea how I would ever live to deserve her. When the waitress came back I gave her an apology and I thought the bitch would cry. I cringed when she hugged me and threw away the number she left on the table. It was part of the problem with women like my waitress friend. If you were nice at all, they thought it meant more than it actually did. Hell, she saw that I was there with my girl, and she still left me her number! Bella wasn't pleased and I almost thought I saw a hint of jealousy when Miss Tatas touched me, but she reigned it in. She was a much bigger person than me. I would have killed some fucker if they touched my angel.

"So, what about you, angel? Tell me about _you_." She blushed and shrugged.

"Not much to tell. I'm pretty boring really. I like to read… and I'm good at taking care of people. Oh, and I cook, but you know that already."

"So you're perfect. Gotcha." I winked and grinned widely before wrapping her in my arms making her squeal.

We spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon just talking. I had never actually had a real conversation with a woman before. I think it may have just been Bella, but I actually enjoyed myself. When it was finally time to head to the res I tried once again to talk her out of going, but she wasn't having it. If anything else, I think it made her more determined to go. We pulled up in front of Sam and Emily's cabin and I took a deep breath.

"Bella, I, uh… people aren't going to have very nice things to say about me. Just please don't fucking pay any attention to them, okay?"

"You just make friends everywhere you go, don't you?" She chuckled. "But someone must like you or else we wouldn't have been invited, right?" I nodded but felt my stomach knotting even further.

When I saw who was standing on the porch, evil smirk firmly in place, I actually fucking shuddered. Leah, the girl who hated imprinting as much as I had. The girl I had fucked repeatedly. She was smiling, but I could see the anger written all over her tense body. Something or someone had set her off and I fought the urge to drive away with Bella and never come back. Sam stepped onto the porch next to her and mumbled something that seemed to make her even angrier.

"Who's that?" Bella whispered, her eyes trained on Leah.

"That's Leah. I think she's my friend, but she's also an angry bitch. Just… try to stay away from her, okay?" If Leah hurt my angel I would rip her apart, even if I did understand why she was such a bitch.

"Come on, baby. We better get in there before they come after us." I rolled my eyes as Jake came barreling out, proving my point.

"Bells!" Jake had her door open and Bella wrapped in a bear hug. I growled under my breath and he smiled at me over the top of her head.

My angel was passed around like a doll. Kim introduced her to Emily who was beaming as she spoke. Emily would cast me little glances, knowing my eyes never left Bella. I think that Sam may have tried to talk to me, but my sole focus was on my girl, who was blushing from all the attention.

"So, looks like you gave in, huh, Paul?" Leah whispered as she sidled up next to me. "I guess that means you won't be needing this anymore will you?" She grabbed my hand and placed it between her legs.

I snatched away my hand and growled at her. "Cool it, Lee. It was what it was. You never had a problem when I was off fucking some random bitch, this shouldn't bother you either."

"Have you?" I raised an eyebrow at her, all the while keeping my eyes on Bella. "Fucked her yet?" She elaborated.

"Back the fuck off, Leah," I snarled making her smile.

"Hmm, I'll take that as a no. I'm available anytime if she's not giving it up. You know I'm good, baby." She kissed my neck and everything seemed to happen at once.

Bella looked up as I pushed Leah away from me.

"Leah!" Sam bellowed, but it only served to egg her on. She had his attention as well as the attention of everyone else in the house.

"What?" She asked innocently while looking at Bella. "I was just asking him when he wanted me in his bed again. I mean, it was only a few days ago, but since his little girl isn't giving it up he has to go somewhere."

Raised voices became nothing but white noise in the background as all I could concentrate on was the pained look on my sweet girl's face. I could see Emily trying to talk to her, but Bella could do nothing but stare at me. She calmly walked past me and out the front door and I followed, hoping I could fix it. She had handled the waitress just fine and I had been very honest about who I was, but Leah made it sound like it was more than what it really was. Like it would ever be happening again. Not to mention I had insinuated that there had been no one since Bella. I mean, we hadn't even really spoken much by that point, but I doubt Bella would see it that way.

"Bella?" I approached her like you would a wild animal. When her eyes met mine, they were watery and filled with sadness.

"You told me. I mean, I knew, but… when, Paul? Was it really just a few days ago? After we met or before?"

"It was after we met, but… I can't really explain it to you. She and I have had an understanding for a while."

"I think I'm going to need a little more than that, Paul." She was upset, but patient making it even harder for me not to just kiss her senseless until she forgot everything else.

"Emily and Leah are cousins. They were like sisters. Did you know that Sam and Leah were engaged? They had been together for years and when Sam met Emily… well, that was it. He tried to fight it. And Emily wouldn't have anything to do with him anyway. But something happened to Emily."

"The scars on her face?" Bella asked and I nodded.

"Sam never left her side and after some time she gave in. Sam and Leah had been broken up for a while by then, but the damage was done. Needless to say, Leah was a bit bitter. Still is. She hated the idea of love as much as I did, so we found comfort in sex together. When she saw that I wanted something real… well, she never really wanted anything more from me than sex, but I was the one person she could count on, you know?"

"That's kind of screwed up. You know that, right?" Bella asked.

"I know. I told you I'm all sorts of fucked up, Bella. I get it if you don't want to do _this_," I indicated between us with my hand, "anymore. But I hope you can still be my friend."

"Paul," she sighed, "what you had with Leah was an ongoing thing… a recent thing. I thought I was okay with all of your conquests, but having it thrown in my face? I think I just need some time. Of course we'll still be friends, I just need to process this, okay? I mean, how could I ever compete with her anyway?"

"You can fucking stop that shit right there! There is no comparison. You are perfect and the only one I want. I swear I won't fucking touch another girl. I'll show you that I can be good for you! Just… oh fuck it." If she was going to leave me I was going to get one last taste of her.

A surprised squeak left her lips as I lifted her into my arms and kissed her with as much passion as I could summon.

"Just once more," I whispered against her lips between kisses, "Just once more."

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><p><strong>Sabi'sSookie: Paul, Paul, Paul… do you all think if he had told her about Leah up front things would have gone differently? But Bella isn't walking away, so don't freak out, guys! She just needs to process! And Paul is definitely determined to prove that he can be good for her. Now if only he'd stop being stubborn and tell her about all the things that go bump in the night! So, I'm back from vacation, and let me tell you, flying with a toddler… alone… with no one to help… yeah, I so don't plan on doing that again! LOL! But I plan on getting back to replying to reviews! I want to let you all know that even though I was MIA, I read and loved every review, and I want to thank everyone who has read, alerted, favorited, and reviewed! You guys are the most awesome readers ever! Weezy, hunnie, you know I love you and I am glad to be back so we can get back to our regular chatter! LOL! You are the best and I am so blessed to be able to write with you. Not to mention read all the awesome stuff you send me! Big fat smooshes to you, twinnifer!<strong>

**Nostalgicmiss:** Poor Bella and Poor Paul! I'm sure he wasn't happy about being blindsided like that! There's no doubt that he and Bella have chemistry, but he will learn to have a little more faith in her I'm sure. Now he's got her he's not willing to let her go, and like Sabi said, Bella's not running away from him, I don't think she wants to. She just needs to wrap her head around this new information and compartmentalize it so she can move on. Thank you so much to all of you that read, alert, add the story to your favorites, and of course, Review. Your thoughts and encouragement mean so much to us both! You are all awesome! Brey... Your the best friend a girl could ever ask for and writing with you is, as always, a dream. I love you loads hun, and I am so glad you're home because I have missed the stuffing out of you doll! And believe me! I think I am the lucky one with the things you send me lol! Smooshes, and hugs to you my BFF & Twinnifer! **  
><strong>


	13. Chapter 13 Bella

**All recognizable names are the property of Stephenie Meyer. We just like playing dress up in her shoes.**

**This story is not suitable for those under the age of 18. It is rated M, so if you're not old enough to buy a pack of smokes… we don't wanna know!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 7 Bella<strong>

_I am covered in skin  
>No one gets to come in<br>Pull me out from inside  
>I am folded and unfolded and unfolding<br>I am colorblind  
><strong>Colorblind by Counting Crows (Natalie Walker Version)<strong>_

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><p>As promised, Paul showed up the next morning with an eagerness I hadn't expected, it felt so good to be in his arms again, and even though I was completely exhausted from lack of sleep, I couldn't deny that just being close to him made me feel better.<p>

We hung out all morning, and even ate breakfast at the diner where I was faced with one of his former conquests. Sadly, he had no idea who she was until she called him out.

It was a part of his past I knew I would have to deal with, but it was hard seeing him touch anyone else, let alone with the realization that she had carnal knowledge of him.

The day passed too quickly for my liking, it was like being in his company made everything around me disappear. I was absorbed in him, and no matter what we did, I was always so aware of him beside me. The conversation that had been so stilted in the past seemed to ebb and flow with more ease than I thought possible.

Of all the things Paul hid about himself, the most intriguing was his intelligence. Knowing what I knew about his past, there was no way I would have said anything, let alone complimented him on it. He was so convinced he was a screw up that he seemed to strive to project the image. I knew better though, I could see past all those layers he put up to protect himself and I got the view, I guessed, very few people ever saw.

Whether we were walking hand in hand, or sitting on the couch, it felt like I had been doing it my whole life. It felt natural for me to be this close to him, and when the wonder of how little time we'd spent hit me, I wondered how I'd ever managed without him in my life.

When he'd invited me to the bonfire down on the reservation, I'd felt hopeful that he would relax around his friends, that I'd get to see yet another side of this multi dimensional man that constantly kept me in awe. But as the time drew closer, he grew more and more tense. As we drove towards La Push I could see the tension set in his strong jaw and knew I was going to see another side of him, but not the one I longed to see.

It finally made sense when we seemed to drive over an invisible line and he warned me that no one would have anything nice to say about him. It made my chest ache if I was being honest, to me he was this amazing guy but to everyone else, he was the persona he put up to keep people at a distance.

At first, I really didn't believe him, but the moment we pulled up I could see the warm welcome we weren't going to get stood on the porch. She was beautiful, of course, her dark russet skin was flawless, and even in the cutoffs and wife-beater it was easy to see how toned her body was . . . Then there were the legs that went on for miles. Her short black hair hung around her prominent cheeks making her almond shaped eyes pop out from her slim face. The only thing ugly about her was the smile she seemed to have presented for our arrival.

I couldn't lie, the girl intimidated me, not only was she beautiful, she was powerful as well, her entire body screamed of the strength and agility I couldn't even imagine possessing. How was it possible I could feel even more out of place than I had when I'd started at the reservation school?

"Who's that?" I asked, unable to take my eyes from where she loomed over where we parked. It was easy to see that something was bothering her, and it only got worse when the guy i recognized as Sam from the auto shop stepped out and murmured at her.

"That's Leah. I think she's my friend, but she's also an angry bitch. Just… try to stay away from her, okay?"

_Think?_ It seemed like a weird choice of words, but then with Paul's warning maybe he was unclear on most of them. I also didn't need the angry bitch statement, it was written all over her face and there was no way not to pay attention to the way her eyes narrowed as though she'd heard him.

"Come on, baby. We better get in there before they come after us."

As though on cue, the door slammed open and Jacob pushed past the two figures on the porch as he leapt from the stairs and headed directly at us.

"Bells," he shouted happily.

I couldn't lie, seeing a friendly face most definitely made me feel better, and even when his warm arms wrapped around me in a sweltering bear hug I had to smile. His enthusiasm more than made up for the slightly awkward welcoming committee.

After that there was no escaping. Kim pried Jacob away from me and took my hand telling me how she was going to introduce me to everyone and how happy she was that I'd decided to come.

I was introduced to all of the tall boys I didn't know, then Sam and Emily. Emily, like Leah was beautiful, and once she started talking she made me feel welcome and comfortable. I'd spent the first five minutes trying not to stare at the pink puckered scars than ran down her cheek, but after a while it was like they didn't exist.

"I'm so happy you decided to come, and you're just as beautiful as Embry, Jacob and Paul said you were."

I felt my cheeks flare at the compliment. I wasn't used to being addressed like that, and compliments, well in my life they were few and far between as long as you didn't count my dad, which I didn't because I knew he was biased.

"I have to say, you had Paul wrapped around that little finger of your in record time. He's got a hard head, but his hearts in the right place."

"And he said no one would have anything nice to say," I grinned. "He's going to be so disappointed when he realizes he was wrong."

Emily laughed and leaned in so her hair hung in a straight line in front of her. It was like a curtain of silk and I had to fight the urge to touch it. It was beautiful.

"You'll realize he's wrong a lot as well."

I started laughed and turned my head to find him pushing Leah away with a look of abject horror on his face. The room seemed to stop like a freeze frame as one voice roared above the other. It was so loud it felt like the house was shaking, but all I could do was watch Paul as he floundered.

"Leah!"

Her dark vindictive eyes turned on me for her answer. I could see the anger boiling behind the smirk as she studied me. It was only a second, but I could almost predict what was about to happen.

"What?" she asked, her lips turning at the corners as she zeroed in on me. "I was just asking him when he wanted me in his bed again. I mean, it was only a few days ago, but since his little girl isn't giving it up he has to go somewhere."

_Ouch!_

The room exploded in shouts, the cacophony was like a waterfall falling from a great height; it drowned out everything to my ears. All I could do was look at the man that I had put so much faith in and watched as his sad eyes became resigned. I could feel the dull ache in my chest and had I not been numb I knew it would have ached enough to stir the need to rub at it. Instead, my fight or flight instinct kicked in.

I was aware Emily was trying to talk to me, but I hadn't heard a word and I wasn't even sure what she'd been saying, so I excused myself and without waiting for an answer, and wandered through the chaos never taking my eyes from Paul until it was impossible to see him without turning my head.

I couldn't stand the look of resignation on his face. He hadn't even fought back, he hadn't fought for me, instead, he was decidedly determined that this should do what he hadn't been able to do . . . scare me away.

The cold night air danced around me in little surges as it rolled off the coast. The smell of brine filled my nose and flowed through lungs with the oxygen it tainted. I'd known he'd had girls, he'd admitted that he had a reputation, yet I couldn't stop this from hurting. It cut into me. Was it because he'd known me at the time?

I knew it wasn't fair to look at it like that, especially after he'd admitted that he used women and often. I just couldn't fathom even looking at someone else, from the moment I'd met him he filled my thoughts. Yet, he had, and for some inscrutable reason, I felt as though I'd been betrayed.

It wasn't a rational thought, but then I'd hadn't thought rationally since I'd met him, so it shouldn't have come as such a surprise. I swiped at the tears that formed in my eyes and felt ridiculous.

"Bella?" his voice cut deep, and all of the progress I'd made on rationalizing my reaction flew out of the window. The numbness seemed to abandon me and left nothing but pain in its wake.

"You told me. I mean, I knew, but… when, Paul? Was it really just a few days ago? After we met or before?" I asked, unsure I actually wanted an answer. It was unfair of me to question this and I knew it. We weren't together, I'd had a huge crush on him sure, but how was that his responsibility?

"It was after we met, but… I can't really explain it to you. She and I have had an understanding for a while."

He made it sound so simply and easy, yet nothing he'd said explained anything other than he had, in fact, been with her only day's prior.

"I think I'm going to need a little more than that, Paul."

I folded my arms across my chest to stop myself from reaching for him. Even now, even after this little revelation I needed him close, I needed his touch. I fought with my natural instincts and looked up at him, hoping he would at least try and explain this to me.

I was proud of myself for not screaming and shouting and demanding he take me home, but I still wanted to keep my dignity intact, and that would require something more.

"Emily and Leah are cousins. They were like sisters. Did you know that Sam and Leah were engaged? They had been together for years and when Sam met Emily… well, that was it. He tried to fight it. And Emily wouldn't have anything to do with him anyway. But something happened to Emily."

I understood the impossibility of fighting attraction; it was how I felt about Paul. I knew I would have felt attracted to him on any level, but the pull I had to him was like gravity, I couldn't fight it, it gripped me with both hands. Even now when I was so hurt, I was fighting the natural instinct to reach out to him, that earth moving need to touch him.

Then it clicked.

"The scars on her face?"

Paul nodded.

"Sam never left her side and after some time she gave in. Sam and Leah had been broken up for a while by then, but the damage was done. Needless to say, Leah was a bit bitter. Still is. She hated the idea of love as much as I did, so we found comfort in sex together. When she saw that I wanted something real… well, she never really wanted anything more from me than sex, but I was the one person she could count on, you know?"

I hated that it made sense, but it still didn't make it all right. Both of them seemed as though they'd been in their wells of self-hatred too long, and their need to find a release had become yet another form of self-destruction. When Paul had explained his past, and the women he'd used, I'd figured it was his way of keeping people at arms length. It was unhealthy with strangers, but to use someone you knew in the same manner so you could stay detached . . . it was an open flame waiting for the gas.

"That's kind of screwed up. You know that, right?"

"I know. I told you I'm all sorts of fucked up, Bella. I get it if you don't want to do this," he indicated between us with his hand, "anymore. But I hope you can still be my friend."

My heart screamed in my chest. It fought against my ribs in a desperate pull toward him. Denial that my head was in control only brought out claws that had no mercy in my already pain riddled body.

"Paul," I sighed, unsure of really how to react anymore. My body was at war with itself. Head against my heart in a melee for control. "What you had with Leah was an ongoing thing . . . a recent thing. I thought I was okay with all of your conquests, but having it thrown in my face? I think I just need some time. Of course we'll still be friends, I just need to process this, okay? I mean, how could I ever compete with her anyway?"

I'd fought the images in my head this far, but unleashing recognition was like opening the floodgates. _Her_ legs around his waist, _her_ hands pressing into his shoulders; _him_between those legs, it was all too much for my minds eye, and I longed for a sharp object to impale the place conjuring the images.

"You can fucking stop that shit right there! There is no comparison. You are perfect and the only one I want. I swear I won't fucking touch another girl. I'll show you that I can be good for you! Just… oh fuck it."

Before I could blink or think to stop it, I was in his arms, his lips pressing against mine with a desperation that stole the breath from me. It felt so right to be here like this with him. It was the one thing I was born to do, I was his and he was mine.

The passion filled kiss had our hands scrambling and my legs winding around his waist pulling me closer and closer. The fire between us was undeniable; it coursed through my veins and soared in my chest. My whole body seemed to burst into life around me.

"Just once more," he whispered against my lips, his voice heartbreakingly sad. "Just once more."

Unfortunately, my head caught up with the rest of me at the sound of his voice. I needed time, and I needed to breathe. I couldn't do that here in his arms, as much as I wanted to be here, I just couldn't let these feelings rob me of my dignity.

"Paul, I have to go, please, put me down."

He shook his head before letting his forehead rest against mine. His hot breath washing over my cheeks as he scrunched his eyes closed. He looked as though he was in physical pain and I hated myself for putting that look there.

"I'm not saying I won't be back, I just need to think." I let my hand come to rest against his chest as he slowly regained his composure. "I want you, I will always want you, but we need to slow down. It's too much too soon."

"I understand."

I could see in his eyes he didn't understand. He was fighting for resolve; he was trying to find the strength to let me go, when it was the last thing I wanted. All I needed was air; time to clear my head so I could wrap my head around the fact that he'd been with Leah. I needed to process it and store it away.

If I didn't deal with my feelings about this it would fester, it was one of my worst qualities.

"No, you don't. I can see it in your eyes. You're trying to let me go when it's the last thing I want. Can't you see that I just need to deal with this so we can move on?"

"But . . ."

"Listen to me, put yourself in my shoes. If I told you I slept with . . . Jacob the day I arrived, how would you feel?"

Paul didn't say a word, he growled. The sound was deep and gravelly in his chest, and his eyes flashed with something I couldn't place. I tried again and struggled successfully from his arms.

I felt the sudden urge to make it very clear it wasn't the case.

"I haven't, of course I haven't, I haven't been with anyone, but hypothetically. I mean . . . Shit. Just put yourself in my situation."

Whatever I'd said, it only seemed to make him reach for me again, and I was already struggling to stick with my decision. I just needed him to understand, I was a contemplator, and I had to think things through to get them out of my head. Once that was done I moved on with my life.

"Bella . . ."

"No, Paul, please. Respect that I just need to mull this over."

Thankfully, Kim decided that was the time to come out and check on me. She didn't hesitate when I asked for a ride home, and even though I felt guilty about her missing the bonfire, she said she'd been to enough of them, and that she'd catch the next one with me.

I was glad she was certain, because I sure as hell wasn't. After the way I'd left, I wasn't even sure Paul would want to talk to me again. I knew the look he had on his face would haunt my dreams, just like he would be just out of reach as I ran in circles again.

By the time Kim left, I wasn't looking forward to the nightmares that awaited me. I was so restless; I had to get out of the house. I was just glad Charlie was out for the night, doing . . . Well, whatever the hell Charlie did when I wasn't around.

I must have stood on the porch for a good fifteen minutes before I pushed myself forward and toward the trailhead where I'd seen my wolf. I wandered into the trees, never venturing far enough to lose the lights from the house in fear that I would get lost. It wasn't difficult to do when I wasn't paying attention, my head was already all over the place, without having to bread-crumb it back to Casa de Swan.

I whistled once, feeling like an idiot for calling a wild animal to me like he was a common pet. He was anything but, and I had to admit, I was surprised when my whistle seemed to bring him loping over the hill toward me. His silver pelt, swayed gently with his gait, but I didn't fail to notice the way his tail hung between his legs as he approached.

For a second I considered turning and running, but my draw to him held me in place, and I adjusted my stance so I was submissive, I just hoped he would recognize it as a sign of respect for him.

He drew closer to me with caution, and when I saw his huge paws come into view I held my breath. For a moment I wasn't sure what was going to happen – then he licked me.

"Hi," I breathed, letting my hand reach into his neck, my fingers rubbing soothing circles into the deep undercoat. A gentle purr came from his throat sending gentle vibrations through my arm and into my body, easing me.

He lowered his great body to the ground with a humph, and I followed suit, leaning into his muscular shoulder that was cushioned by the same silver fur that covered his huge body.

"I've been neglecting you, haven't I?" I whispered. "I didn't mean to, I just . . . well, I met someone and he makes me feel amazing, but I keep messing things up."

I sighed and pulled out my phone, staring at the screen as though it held the answers I was looking for. Unfortunately, there was nothing there but the picture I'd set as wallpaper.

"I think I messed up, he hasn't called or sent a text. I mean it's not like we've been together long and I know I shouldn't expect that, but we had a bit of a fight . . . actually I think it was more that I overreacted."

The wolf drew in a huge lungful of air, physically moving me in my spot against him as he pushed the air from his nose.

"Am I talking to much?"

He laid his head down on his paws and looked up at me, the whites of his eyes were showing making him look cute, which wasn't a word I would normally apply to a wolf the size of a horse.

Giving him some peace, I scrolled through my phone and shook my head when I noticed a name I had no recollection of adding. I opened up a text message and typed out a quick note.

'_Presumptuous aren't you? I don't recall asking for your number!'_

I hit send and leaned against the wolf who raised his head in question, his head turned to the forest and tilted to the side before he looked back at me again.

"What is it? You have somewhere to be?"

He nudged me with his muzzle before laying his head in my lap and closing his eyes.

For a moment I was stunned into silence. An action like that spoke volumes, and my beautifully majestic wolf was telling me that he trusted me. For a moment I was so excited I wanted to call Paul, but I knew I couldn't.

Instead I leaned against his body while I let my fingers run over the stop of his head. It was so peaceful here with him I began falling asleep; I was so tired even my limbs felt heavy.

Then my phone chirped.

'_You say presumptuous, I say genius! You sent me a text didn't you? What are you doing?'_

I smiled down at the phone and shook my head in disbelief. He was certainly not shy. When I'd met Edward in the bookstore and ungracefully made my departure, I'd thought it was going to be the last time I saw him.

He seemed harmless enough anyway.

It may have been a stupid move, but I texted him back with the thought that maybe; just maybe I could have a friend that wasn't involved in the mess between Paul and I.

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><p><strong>Nostalgicmiss: <strong>Oh Bella! SO not a good idea, especially when Paul reacted the way he did after the scent of the fool was all over you! I guess he didn't really explain it, even when he came back, but still... Bella has absolutely no idea that her wolf is the man she's in love with, and I don't see this friendship boding well. Thanks so much to all of you that have read, alerted, added the story to your favorites and of course reviewed. Man there was some hate for Leah lol! Not that I blame you guys, but yeah she definitely took the heat for that, and deservedly so! Each and every one of you astound us with your comments and passion for the characters. We love you all loads! Sabi, my Bestie Twinnifer, that I wouldn't know what to do without! Thank you for always being there and being the most supportive and outstanding friend a girl could ever hope to have. I am honored to call you my friend and I am privileged to write with. Love you Sista from another Mista!

**Sabi'sSookie:** I agree with Weezy! Bella has no idea what she's getting herself into. And before you say it, I know Paul should man up (or wolf-up) and tell her!Men can be so dumb! And Leah did catch some serious heat. Yes, she deserved it, but I still feel sad for her. She is just so miserable and Paul was miserable right there with her. Seeing her partner in anger paired of, with an imprint of all things, just made her a tad crazy. But I can tell you that Paul will have plenty to say to her! You guys are so amazing, really! You always amaze me with your reviews. I have to give a shout out to WerCub, Kats Flower Girls, and n8tivegurl. You guys kill me with your reviews, every time! I always know you guys are going to have plenty to say! LOL! But thanks to everyone that alerts, favorites, reads, and reviews! You guys are all so awesome, I can't even begin to tell you! Weezy, the best BFF to ever walk the face of the earth, you really are my brainsharing sister and I love you to pieces! I would be lost without you and I am the privileged one! Every time I say the word Privileged I think back to how we started chatting and it makes me all sappy! LOL! **MWAH**


	14. Chapter 14 Paul

**All recognizable names are the property of Stephenie Meyer. We just like playing dress up in her shoes.**

**This story is not suitable for those under the age of 18. It is rated M, so if you're not old enough to buy a pack of smokes… we don't wanna know!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 8 Paul<br>**

_And seasons are changing,  
>And waves are crashing,<br>And stars are falling all for us.  
>Days grow longer and nights go shorter,<br>I can show you I'll be the one._  
><strong>Your Guardian Angel by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus<strong>

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><p>"You fucking bitch! I'll fucking kill you!" Spittle flew from my mouth like a rabid animal as I lunged at Leah. She sat in the porch, grinning from ear to ear as I watched Bella leave me.<p>

Sam, Jared, and Jake all grabbed me before I could get to her. I had never physically harmed any female, but in that moment, I didn't see male or female. I saw the bitch that hurt my mate. The bitch that finally made my angel see the type of man she was dealing with.

Bella said she needed time but I knew better. She would never be back in my arms. Oh, she may have remained my friend, but that was only because she was so tender hearted. She could never bear to hurt anyone. Not like me. I was a fucking monster.

"Oh, Paul… did you really think she wouldn't go running eventually anyway?" I lunged again and cursed my pack members for keeping me from her. "And really, if something as small as that makes her run then it's better that she go now."

Leah shrugged like it was no big deal.

"Paul, I'm tired of this game we've been playing. We're good together. Let me do for you what she will never be able to do. I understand the monster in you in ways she never will." I growled loudly at the way she was talking about my mate. My Bella.

"Leah!" Sam's voice boomed. I was sure people in Forks heard him. "I know I hurt you, but do you think this is the answer? Hurting an innocent girl? The mate of a pack member?" His body shook and vibrated against me.

"Sam! Baby, calm down," Emily urged gently and his shaking subsided.

"Leah," Sam's voice was a little calmer but he was using his alpha tone, "you are to stay away from Paul and Bella. You will not speak to them or even look at them. When you've learned to control yourself we will revisit the subject. Go home. Now."

I could see her body tense as she tried to fight the order, but eventually she complied. If she hadn't possibly cost me the love of my mate I may have felt sorry for her, but as it stood, I could have cared less.

Once the source of my rage was gone I just deflated. I pictured the look in Bella's eyes as Leah spewed her venom. Her words were like poison and I found myself wondering how I could have ever enjoyed touching someone so hateful. My angel said she would be back. She just needed to think. I used my perfect memory to replay every moment I had with her.

"She wouldn't lie. She'll be back." I didn't realize I had spoken out loud until Jake tapped me on the shoulder.

"She will be back, man. She's Bella. And Bella is kind and forgiving. She's just a thinker, ya' know? She just has to process things her own way. But in the meantime, why don't you go see her as Paul the giant puppy. I think she likes you better in that form anyway." He winked and I could have hugged him for his genius.

She may want time away from Paul the man, but she would never turn away the wolf. I didn't even bother removing my clothes before I phased. I could hear Jake's laughter following me as I ran. It was almost as if she was expecting me because I heard a whistle as if she was calling me. Embry was patrolling and laughed at the fact that she was calling me like a dog. I very appropriately told him to shut the fuck up.

My angel's eyes were puffy and I could see that she had been crying. For a second she almost looked frightened of me, so I licked her. It seemed to loosen her up so I immediately laid down and she followed. Her tiny fingers wound their way into my pelt as she talked to me. She mentioned that I hadn't called or texted her.

_Why didn't I think of that? Shit, I'm a dumbass!_

She thought that _she_ had been the one to screw up. Was she insane? I let out a long breath, frustrated that I couldn't just tell her that she was justified in running from me. That I was an asshole that didn't deserve her.

Bella asked if she was talking too much and I couldn't help myself. I would have raised my eyebrows, but in wolf form I didn't have any. Instead I just gave her an incredulous look and laid my head on my paws.

She looked at her phone like it held all life's answers then snorted when she came across something. I saw her type out a text, but couldn't see who it was to. Who would she have been texting? Was it me? I had left my phone in my car. Would she think that I was ignoring her? No. I doubted she was texting me. So then who was it? She seemed happy to hear from whoever it was. Who made her smile that way? I raised my head up before looking back to the forest. Something was off. For a second I thought I heard the chiming of a phone far in the distance.

"What is it? You have somewhere to be?"

_No. My place is with you. Always you._

Since I couldn't exactly answer her I nudged her gently and laid my head in her lap. Her body relaxed into mine and we both began to doze off. Just being near her lulled me into a calm state, but the way she was running her fingers through my fur was enough to relax me into a coma. We were both startled by the chirping of her phone. The smile on her face as she read the text and responded made my blood boil. She kept smiling as the texts went back and forth.

_Who is making her smile that way_?

Her arms were on top of my head so I couldn't get a look at her phone. Finally, fed up with her smiling and ignoring me I pulled myself from under and took the phone from her hands.

"Is someone jealous?" She giggled and took her phone back from my mouth. "Okay, I'll put it away."

_Not what I was going for, but it works, I suppose. I just wanted to see who the fuck was making her smile that way. Cause it damn sure isn't me._

I grumbled and it came out sounding like a growl causing her head to snap up at me.

"What? What is it?" I could see the fear on her face and I knew I had to calm down. I rolled on my back and wagged my tail, feeling like a moron, but when she giggled and rubbed my belly it was worth it.

"_You're such a douche bag!"_ Embry shouted in my head. I knew he would be playing that scene over and over for everyone to see.

I began thinking of the many ways to kill him and he eventually shut up. Bella seemed to be enjoying the playful side of her wolf, so I went with it. I heard Sam's alpha howl and new it was my turn to patrol so with a heavy heart I walked my angel back to the edge of the woods near her house and watched as she went inside.

After my patrol I went home only to find Billy waiting on me. Apparently Jake had opened his big mouth and told him everything that had happened.

"So, Leah decided to rat you out to Bella, huh?"

"Ugh, can we not talk about this? Isn't Bella leaving me enough punishment?" I flopped down on my worn couch and covered my eyes with my arm.

"Jake says he's going to talk to her at school and see if he can smooth things over for you. Charlie was here, and he was a bit worried. He thinks you're going to push Bella away again. You know he'll have your balls in a jar if you do that, right?" Billy's lips curled up in a smirk when I finally looked at him.

"Yeah, yeah. You old men gossip worse than women. I'm going to fix this! And I am _not_ giving up on Bella. She is mine, whether she knows it or not."

He nodded slowly. "And what about the Cullens? You think Red is going to just leave her alone?"

"He fucking better. Billy, treaty or no, I'll kill the fucker."

"Paul, maybe if you just told Bella everything…" I cut him off.

"No! I have enough problems where Bella is concerned without her being terrified of me!"

"Paul, don't you remember how Charlie reacted? Bella's got a lot of her old man in her. I don't think you're giving her enough credit."

"Why is everyone fucking pushing me on this? I gave into the imprint didn't I? I'm not running around fucking anything that moves! I'm doing whatever I can to be good for her. I'm in fucking therapy for crying out loud!" I threw my hands up in exasperation. It felt like nothing I ever did was good enough. I tried and tried but I couldn't escape who I was. If I did something good, someone was always pushing me to do better.

In my head, my frustration boiled over to Bella. I told her everything (minus turning into a giant wolf)! She knew who I was when she got involved with me, yet she ran at the first glimpse of my past misdeeds.

_Not true. Don't forget about the waitress._

Stupid inner fucking voice.

Didn't I deserve a break? Fine, she fucking wanted space, I'd fucking give it to her.

"Paul, I don't know what you're thinking, but it doesn't look good, kid."

"I'm not thinking a fucking thing. I'm going to bed. Gonna' get a few hours before I have to head to the shop." It was already 6am and I had to be there by 10 at the latest.

I tossed and turned, but my anger was too much. On my way to the shop I passed the school. Bella's monstrosity of a truck was parking in the lot and I suddenly had the urge to take my anger out on the damn hunk of metal. Instead, I got to work and apparently the look on my face kept everyone from trying to talk to me, which I was thankful for. Sam kept giving me worried looks, but I ignored him. In fact I ignored everyone. When I heard Bella's voice I fired up the blowtorch and started doing the welding on a car we were rebuilding.

I pretended that I didn't hear her when she called my name, and with my face covered by the welding mask she couldn't notice that I was looking at her. She didn't know that I saw her take a piece of paper and a pen from her backpack to leave me a note. After my shift, I didn't go home for fear that she might be there, waiting. And also out of fear that I would get there and she would be nowhere in sight. The note stayed, unread, on my nightstand.

For days, I barely slept and volunteered for every patrolling shift I could. The guys with imprints were thankful for the extra time with their women, but worried about what I was doing to myself. The only time I wasn't in wolf form was when I was at the shop. Bella came there every day, and every day I slipped out the back when I heard her truck. I was being childish, but for the first time for as long as I could remember, I was actually hurt. My imprint, who was made to love me, ran at the first sign of trouble. What the fuck would she do when she found out that the creatures in her nightmares really existed.

Charlie tried to see me a few times but I avoided him too.

Finally, after the fourth day of avoiding her, she had enough. I didn't hear her truck, so I didn't know she was there.

"Hey!" Her voice was angry, but it was still the most beautiful sound I had ever heard.

I turned to see her, hands on her hips, glaring at me. She looked tired and I wondered if she had as hard a time sleeping as I had.

"What's up?" I asked, feigning nonchalance.

"What's up? Seriously? You've been avoiding me for days, and that's all you have to say?"

"You said you needed time, so I was fucking giving it to you." I shrugged making her even more furious.

"So, I get upset because I find out you were screwing someone who you saw on a regular basis, outside of the screwing. A friend even. I get upset and say I need time… which by the way; I only took one freaking night! I tried to come here! I left you a note! Did you even read it?"

I felt ashamed at how I had acted, but when I was hurt I wasn't the most rational person. And rejection wasn't something I handled well to begin with. Being rejected by my own imprint made it even worse.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. I was not one to apologize but I meant it. And my angel deserved it.

"What happened, Paul? Why did you just disappear like that? I told you I just needed some time. That we would still be friends while I worked it all out."

"I don't want to just be your friend," I mumbled under my breath.

"Well, I don't want to just be your friend either, but I think we need to spend more time getting to know one another before we just jump into anything. I'm a thinker, Paul. A planner. It's not like me to just jump head first into something. I care about you. I do. And I understand that you've shared a lot with me, but I just feel like you're holding things back. And, yes, Leah was something I just had to work out for myself. But you can't just avoid me when you're upset."

I stared at my feet, feeling about two feet tall. Her voice got gentler with every word, but she was right.

"It's how I've survived. Running from things. It's easier that way." She nodded and stroked my cheek.

"It may be easier, but that doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. Sometimes by running you can miss out on some pretty amazing things."

"Are you calling yourself amazing, angel?" I smirked causing her to blush. "Because you are, and I'm sorry if I made you feel like anything less."

I took a deep breath to prepare myself for the words I was about to say. "Fine, we'll be friends, for now. We'll just see how long you can resist all of this." Her eyes roamed my body as my hands pointed to my pecs and abs.

"Mmhmm, I guess we'll see. The question is, did you mean what you said on Sunday? Are you going to stay away from other girls?" She raised an eyebrow at me.

"You're the only girl I want. No one else compares. And I am done with casual sex." I almost cringed at the thought of no sex, but it would be worth it. "Plus, I'm irresistible. You'll give in soon enough."

She giggled but we were interrupted by her damn phone. I pretended to be busy while she quickly responded to the text that she had received. It made her smile again and I almost lost my shit.

"Who was that?" I blurted out.

"Jealous?" She questioned with a smirk.

"Fuck yes! But _friends_ don't get to be jealous, I suppose."

"Oh, Paul, you don't have any reason to be jealous. It's just a friend."

"So, what's her name?" I had my fingers crossed that it was a female.

"_His_ name. You don't need to worry about it. He's _just_ a friend. And I don't want you going and kicking his ass for talking to me. I've heard enough about your temper to know that's exactly what you'd do."

She hung around the shop until I got off of work and she drove me home since I had been running to work.

"Jake? It's Jake's dumb ass, isn't it?" She giggled again and shook her head no.

"Embry? I'll kick his scrawny ass!"

"Nope, not him either." She was really enjoying my discomfort.

"Hmm, if you're not going to tell me, I'll just have to get it out of you somehow." The look in my eye was predatory and she took off like a shot, laughing and squealing in mock terror.

When I caught her she erupted into a fit of giggles with a few very unladylike snorts. I tickled her sides until she threatened to pee on me. She never gave me a name, but I was distracted enough to not care.

"Come on, Paul. I'm making you dinner. Charlie's coming to Billy's so I'll take some food to them too. You do have food, right?" I shrugged because I honestly didn't know, but it was doubtful.

"Ah, men. Come on, let's get some groceries."

The grocery store was relatively uneventful, apart from running into Leah's mother. She didn't say anything but from the look she gave me I knew she was pissed. I was sure that Leah played the victim as always.

Once we got back home I hovered while Bella cooked. She smacked me with a wooden spoon more than once, but I just laughed it off. She got the cutest look on her face when she was annoyed and I wanted to watch her nose crinkle up, so I kept at it.

"Paul, if you don't get out of this kitchen I am going to… well, I just won't let you have any of this lasagna! And I can assure you it will be delicious."

"Would you really do that to me? I mean, you've already broken my heart by telling me you just want to be friends, would you really starve me as well?" I stuck out my bottom lip and batted my eyelashes.

"You're awful, you know that?" I just shrugged and smiled.

"Fine. I'll feed you, but you better behave yourself!"

"Sure, sure," I said, using Jake's favorite phrase.

Dinner was a noisy affair with Jake, Charlie, and Billy. They insisted on having the TV on so that they could watch the game… Okay, so it wasn't a game, it was some stupid fishing competition. Jake lost interest quickly and decided his attention was better spent annoying the hell out of my angel.

He began firing off question after question until she looked like she was ready to explode. Charlie and Billy chuckled the entire time and Jake didn't look the least bit afraid of any retribution from her. When his questions turned to sex is when Charlie stepped in.

Jake, you should really cool it with that line of questioning, or I may be forced to tell Bella what I found out you liked to do before she got here." Billy and I both burst into raucous laughter while Jake blushed for the first time since I'd known him.

"What?" Bella asked, wanting to be in on the jokes.

"NO! Don't you dare!" Jake glared at all of us making us laugh even harder.

The annoying sounds of Bella's phone alerting her to a new text message rang through the air. I growled and she shot me a warning look.

"Who's that, Bells?" Charlie asked when he noticed the tension written plainly on my face.

"Just a friend of mine," she shrugged.

"From school?" Charlie pressed.

"No," she answered causing Jake and I to share a pointed look.

I didn't want to freak out. There were teens in Forks that she could have run into. It didn't mean that it was _him_. But still, it didn't stop my hackles from rising or the slight tremor in my body at the thought of her having contact with the leech. That he was making her smile. That the entire time I was avoiding her he was worming his way into her life and maybe her affections.

I knew that the imprint only bound me to her. She had a choice. She would hurt without me but she could deal with just being my friend. The imprint just needed me close in whatever form. I just needed her in general. I needed her to want only me.

"Paul, remember what I told you. He's just a friend." I nodded but my jaw remained tightly clenched.

"_He?"_ Charlie and Jake asked at the same time.

"Yeah, her little text buddy is a he, but she won't tell me who."

"Well, if Bells says he's just a friend then he is." But the concern in Charlie's eyes gave away the fact that he was just as worried as I.

_One was or another I have to find out who the fuck she's talking to. Then I have to handle that shit._

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><p><strong>Sabi'sSookie: <strong> Hello lovely readers! First of all, you guys continue to astound me with your reviews. And your thoughts on our duo never fail to amaze me! You guys get so passionate about them and I love it! Paul was acting a bit like a child whose toy was taken away, but at least they didn't stay apart too long, right? And who knows, maybe Bella will finally find out what's really going on? Well….. like I'm really gonna' spill the beans. LOL! And Paul is getting really pissed about all the texts. Do you think he's going to find out who it is? How do you think he'll react? Oh, and I have noticed an influx of readers on my stories suddenly, so if you saw this (or any of my other stuff) rec'd somewhere be sure to let me know so I can thank them! Now, onto the love for my BFF… you have astounded me with what an amazing person you are and I am so privileged not only to write with you, but to be able to call you my best friend and my soul sister! Love you loads, hunnie!

**Nostalgicmiss: **This can't be good. Paul being nice and mature and avoiding Bella while she's trying to apologize, and now the texts! Yikes it's a vicious cycle and neither of them are aware of it, because they're still lacking a little in the communication department! At least Billy tried to convince him at least! Thank you to everyone that reads, favorites, alerts and reviews. You guys seriously do astound us and we're always so thankful to you for sticking with us. Your comments, thoughts and frustrations always keep me smiling. Sabi! You know that I have the propensity to get all mushy so I am going to try and refrain myself... a little anyways! You are an amazing writer, you have so much heart and talent it's not funny! Add on top of that how amazing you are as a bestie! How kind and honest you are, oh and lets not forget hilariously funny and that you're as crazy as me ;-) You are my twinnifer, my soul sister, and my best friend. Love you loads sweets :) **  
><strong>


	15. Chapter 15 Bella

**All recognizable names are the property of Stephenie Meyer. We just like playing dress up in her shoes.**

**This story is not suitable for those under the age of 18. It is rated M, so if you're not old enough to buy a pack of smokes… we don't wanna know!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 8 Bella<strong>

_Hands on strings and my mouth open  
>Find the perfect words that I've not spoken<br>And I won't tell the truth unless you want me to  
><strong>Salt Skin by Ellie Goulding<strong>_

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><p>I was exhausted.<p>

It had been almost five days since I'd seen Paul, and I missed him, I didn't even have my wolf to talk to either. Both of them had abandoned me and the hole the size of Texas that seemed to wedge itself in my chest made it impossible to even sleep.

I spent most nights tossing and turning, and my days were filled with a zombie like stance that had my friends worried about me. Jacob had tried to convince me to see Paul the second day in, and I'd unintentionally snapped at him in my cranky no sleep state. It wasn't like I hadn't tried. I spent every day hanging around Paul's usual haunts, just waiting for him to show up, but it was as though he'd anticipated that and avoided them like the plague.

All I wanted was an opportunity to apologize, to tell him that I'd overreacted and that I'd never wanted to abandon him. I trusted him to an extent, and even the revelation Leah had been less than eloquent about, really didn't seem to mean as much now he was gone.

Instead, I was left empty and detached, and even Charlie seemed to notice my despondence. He tried on more than one occasion to tell me that Paul wasn't as bad as he seemed and that I shouldn't be so hard on him. Unfortunately, he met the same ill-fated reaction Jacob did. I snapped at him and told him I'd tried everything I knew to do, but when someone wanted to be left alone, they were certainly able to disappear.

The only bright spot in the endless, restless days were the texts I received from Edward. After our initial text-a-thon, he'd become a friend I could confide in. His wit and intelligence made me smile when I thought that it was an impossibility. He wasn't Paul, and he never would be, but it was nice to have a friend to talk to, it was especially nice to have someone who wasn't constantly encouraging me to do something I had all but broken my back doing.

I wasn't completely naive though. Edward was an insatiable flirt, most of his texts began with an undertone of coquetry, and it sometimes became a little awkward, but once we were past that I found he was easy to talk to, which sometimes would make me miss Paul all the more.

_'Favorite Movie?'_ The words lit up the display on my phone in the middle of English and I was glad I'd thought to silence it. I hadn't been able to concentrate since I'd last seen Paul and I didn't need any more distractions.

_'At School . . . Isn't that where you should be?'_

I pushed my phone back in my pocket and glanced over at Kim who made a 'You're so bad,' face at me. I shrugged, and moved back to doodle on the blank page in front of me. It should have been filled with notes, but I hadn't heard a word the teacher had said. My thoughts, as always, were filled with Paul and how to get a step ahead of him so he couldn't ignore me anymore.

When my phone vibrated in my pocket again, I reached for it, but was assaulted by a balled up piece of paper before I even got close. I looked up from the paper in my lap and scanned the room, I'd assumed it was Kim, but was surprised to see Jared nodding at me with a cautious glance to the teacher.

Under the desk I tried to make a quiet show of uncurling the paper so no one would notice, and was surprised when I actually managed it. It didn't say much, but I could have kissed him for the suggestion.

**'Try again after school, don't take your truck, he'll hear it coming. Hope this helps! You two are pathetic!'**

I gave him a surreptitious finger under the table as I balled the paper up and dropped it into my bag, but followed it with a nod of appreciation that he responded to with a wink.

Was Paul really suffering as much as I was? It sure as hell didn't feel like it, he was the one that was staying away. I'd bend over backwards to do all I could to fix my mistake. Even though my stomach flipped at the thought of facing off with him, I knew I needed answers. I needed to know if what we had could be salvaged. I needed him to know I was sorry.

The day dragged by, as it always seemed to do when you were waiting for something, and we the bell finally rang, I handed my keys to Jacob and asked him to drive it home. His expression of bemused confusion only lasted a moment, and then the light seemed to click.

Paul. It was always, Paul, and it always came back to him.

As I made my way on foot toward the garage where he and Sam worked, my phone chirped and I realized I'd never responded to Edward. Pulling it out, I barked out a laugh at the next text from him.

_'I'm hurt - you neglected me all day. My sister has been trying to cheer me up and I blame you for the consequences of THAT!_

_'Me!'_ I typed back, biting my lip in humor. _'I told you I was in class, whatever happens beyond that is your problem. Anyway, I'm sure Alice was just trying to help. Not to mention I think you're overreacting.'_

I continued my walk to the auto shop with phone in hand; I knew he'd respond quickly, he always did. When my phone chirped I smiled.

_'Ouch! Friends can feel rejected too! You do realize that you never answered my initial question . . . You know how impatient I can be.'_

_'The Goonies, if you laugh you will find yourself ignored even further, sir.'_

As I neared my destination, I pushed my phone into my pocket and took a deep breath. I knew there was a chance Paul may have already left in anticipation of my arrival, but it was just a risk I had to take.

My heart was in my throat as I rounded the door that released the pungent smell of oil and gas, it had grown familiar to me in the last week because I'd made a trip out here every day. When I let my eyes roam the shop, I saw him in the back, a small smudge of grease on his cheek as he polished a car part with a dirty rag.

I would never get used to the surge of joy that seemed to spring to life in me as I saw him. Whether it was a glance as he disappeared, or a quiet moment like this where he didn't realize he was being watched, I would never get enough.

I startled him enough to realize that he had been ready to run, and I swore to myself that I would remember to thank Jared for his advice. When I finally got the nerve to shout out to him, it was hard to bite back my anger, and it only seemed to explode when he acted as though nothing had gone on.

I was so angry that I was upset at myself for the way I felt whole around him, the way I longed to reach out and close the connection between us, as we went back and forth I could feel myself giving over, and resigning myself to the fact that we were both being hot headed.

When he apologized, the anger seemed to evaporate into a cloud over my head. I needed him to understand that I had meant what I said before I left, I'd known on some level he hadn't registered my words, but I couldn't stay. I needed that time to realize that it was all a part of his past; that no matter how much time was in between the event and the moment we got together it was behind us. It had only taken me a couple of hours to realize it, but it had turned into this mess.

It had turned into him running from me so I never had a chance to tell him how much I regretted my reaction. He looked so sad, as he tried to explain.

"It's how I survived," he said under his breath looking uncomfortable. "Running from things, it's easier that way."

I nodded my agreement. I could see how it would seem that way to him, after a past like his it was the only way to get past the emotions he didn't want to feel. I wanted him to know that I understood, that no matter how I reacted to things I would always come back.

I reached out and stroked his cheek with the palm of my hand. Immediately feeling at peace as the warmth of his skin registered there. There was no denying how I felt about him, there hadn't been from the start, but I just needed to take it slowly. As I'd explained to him just moments before, I was a thinker, I needed to process things.

"It may be easier, but that doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. Sometimes by running you can miss out on some pretty amazing things."

"Are you calling yourself amazing, Angel," he asked, his signature smirk blooming over his perfect lips. "Because you are, and I'm sorry if I made you feel like anything less."

Embarrassed, I toed an oil spot on the concrete. I wanted so badly to just fall into his arms and just be the person he seemed to think I was, but I couldn't lose myself in all of this. I was still me, and if I started losing sight of that I was afraid it would end badly. No matter how right I knew he was for me, I needed to do this the right way. This was the first relationship I'd ever had, and even though I wanted to dive in, I knew I needed to get my toes wet, regardless of the protestations my heart seemed to conjure.

"Fine," he breathed with resignation. "We'll be friends, for now. We'll just see how long you can resist all of this."

He pointed to his body and I couldn't stop the appreciative glance of my eyes taking all of him in. He was right of course, and he knew he had me it was what I'd wanted since that first kiss. It was the natural progression of any relationship, even if I did fight it every step of the way.

"Mmhmm, I guess we'll see," I said, dragging my eyes from his body and finding the deep brown of his. "The question is, did you mean what you said on Sunday? Are you going to stay away from other girls?"

I raised my eyebrow in question and watched as his eyes turned earnest. All traces of his joking self were gone as he held my eyes. My stomach flipped as his lips parted.

"You're the only girl I want. No one else compares. And I am done with casual sex." He swallowed and his Adam's apple bobbed, but it was soon replaced with a smile of satisfaction. "Plus, I'm irresistible. You'll give in soon enough."

I couldn't help the girly giggle that escaped me. Hearing that he wanted me the way I wanted him had elated me, and his cocky tail end of the conversation made my mind go crazy with possibilities. Ones that I had to reign in as my phone chirped from my pocket.

_'So not laughing. I love that movie. It's also Emmett's favorite, he's constantly telling me he will be beat me so hard, that when I wake up my clothes will be out of style. It's a classic! It also kinda suits you! I could see you in a pirates hat.'_

Knowing that Paul was watching and we still had things to sort, out, I typed in a quick response.

_'Sloth is my favorite, my mom had to explain to people why I kept shouting HEY YOU GUYS! It's her favorite story to tell. How about you?'_

"Who was that?" Paul asked as I pushed it back into my pocket, I could hear the undertone in his voice and as much as I hated to admit it, it excited me.

"Jealous?" I smirked.

"Fuck yes! But _friends_ don't get jealous, I suppose."

I shook my head and smiled at him, as cute as it was; and as flattering as it was, he was the only guy I would ever want.

"Oh, Paul, you don't have any reason to be jealous. It's just a friend."

"So, what's her name?"

"_His_ name. You don't need to worry about it. He's _just_ a friend. And I don't want you going and kicking his ass for talking to me. I've heard enough about your temper to know that's exactly what you'd do."

He didn't deny it; instead he shook his head in amusement. I knew it wouldn't be the end of the discussion, but he still had to work, so I perched myself in the office and made myself useful answering phones, and playing on the ancient computer. It didn't have Internet access, but I was the master at minesweeper.

Edward and I exchanged a few more texts as I waited and I didn't miss the looks from Paul as my phone chirped quietly. I'd never really understood jealousy before, but now, being faced with it, I could see how empowering it was. He had nothing to worry about; he was all I ever wanted. I couldn't see that changing anytime soon.

We walked back to his house as he questioned me more about Edward. He threw out names looking for the culprit, and when I didn't relent he threatened me with tickles sending me running for shelter, which incidentally I never found. It was all so normal that I found myself forgetting about the four torturous days of his absence and fell back into the natural way I was with him.

I had promised Charlie and Billy lasagna for dinner, but Paul being . . . Well, Paul. He had nothing I needed. I'd never really had fun in a grocery store before, but it was definitely an experience. He soon learned of my ineptitude at being dexterous when he started throwing the ingredients at me, only to have them land at my feet.

There was only one incident with whom I presumed was Leah's mother. They looked so much a like it was hard not to make the leap. She scowled at Paul and ignored me completely, for which I was thankful.

Making lasagna in Paul's company was definitely an experience. He hovered and had the need to "pre-taste" everything, as he put it. Armed with a wooden spoon, I smacked him more than once, which sent him ducking out for only a second at a time. It wasn't as though I was complaining, I felt better having him around.

By the time we were sat at the table I was exhausted, but with the noise of everyone around it kept me alert. Of course, Jacob and his endless questions kept me engaged in the conversation. When they became inappropriate, Charlie felt the need to intercept.

"Jake, you should really cool it with that line of questioning," he said, his mustache twitching with humor, "or I may be forced to tell Bella what I found out you liked to do before she got here."

The whole table exploded into laughter leaving me the only one none the wiser. Jacob blushed profusely, his russet cheeks flaring pink, which only seemed to make Paul laugh all the harder next to me.

"What?" I asked, looking around the table.

"NO! Don't you dare!" Jake growled, his eyes hitting each guy at the table pointedly. Whatever it was it was obviously something embarrassing, I'd never seen Jacob this serious about anything.

Of course, Charlie, Billy and Paul only seemed to laugh harder. Thankfully, I was distracted by the chirp of my phone and pulled it out making it possible for me to act as though I didn't care. Paul growled at the phone but I gave him the bitch brow before reading the message.

_'Alice and Emmett said they want to meet you! Emmett wants to have a movie marathon because he says you're the only one that appreciates the classics. Alice wanted to know if you wanted to come over for dinner tomorrow night. It's a Friday!'_

"Who's that Bells?" Charlie asked, as he looked between Paul and I.

"Just a friend of mine," I shrugged, I couldn't quite understand what the big deal was. It wasn't as though no one else at the table had friends they sent texts to. Why it was such a big thing that I could possibly have friends was beyond me.

"From school?"

"No."

The atmosphere in the room shifted with my answer and I could feel Jake and Paul on either side of me tense. I really didn't know what the big deal was, but it obviously pissed Paul off, and Jacob, normally so indifferent, suddenly seemed interested.

"Paul, remember what I told you. He's just a friend."

"_He?_" Charlie and Jacob asked in unison, bringing out the bitch brow the second time in one night. The Spanish inquisition act was getting old fast. No one else got the third degree about their phone going off, why was I getting interrogated?

"Yeah," Paul said pointedly, talking to Charlie over my head. "Her little text buddy is a he, but she won't tell me who."

"Well, if Bells says he's just a friend then he is," Charlie said, his lack of conviction wasn't exactly encouraging, but at least it put the issue to rest and let us get on with dinner.

Paul and I did the dishes together, before we headed over to his little shack to hang out. Charlie's half-hearted, "_don't be too late,_" as we left Billy's gave me a little bit of freedom to hang out with Paul a longer. Now I had him back I really didn't want to let him go. Sitting on the couch wrapped in his arms made me feel better, and his heat only served to send me into that realm of groggy pre-sleep.

"You haven't been sleeping well either?" he asked moving us so we were lying on the couch together, his arms over my waist as he pulled me so my back was flush to his stomach. It was most definitely not an embrace friends would share, but I wasn't complaining. I felt at home.

"No," I yawned, fighting the weight of my eyelids. "And with the either tacked in the end there I'm presumed you haven't."

He hummed into my ear, and settled down so he cheek was against my ear, and all I could do was smile at the gesture. I'd missed this. Of course just as I got comfortable my bladder decided it needed an evacuation.

"Paul?"

"Hmm?"

"I got to go."

"No you don't, Charlie won't mind, he's still over at Billy's."

"No," I giggled, shuffling up, accidentally making him groan. "I mean I have to . . ." I nodded at the bathroom, which made him roll his eyes at me.

"Then go, Angel. I'm not going anywhere."

I rolled off the couch a little less gracefully than I'd intended and landed on my knees making Paul laugh, as I scrambled to my feet. I rushed through the process, trying my hardest not to fall asleep on the toilet as I went. I was working on about six hours sleep in the last ninety-six hours. I was faltering.

After washing my hands I made my way back out to Paul, but stopped the moment I laid my eyes on him. Something was terribly wrong, so wrong that I found myself frozen in the small doorframe that split the two rooms.

Paul's body was almost vibrating in place as though he were having a fit, his hands balled and flexed periodically as his neck twitched in aggravation. I wanted desperately to go to him, but something held me in place, warning me.

"Paul . . ."

"Stay. Where. You. Are."

"What's going on?"

He shook his head, as his eyes grew wide. "I'm sorry . . ."

The room exploded from the spot Paul was standing in, for a moment I was caught off guard by the ripping of material fused with flashes of silver fur springing from odd places. I wanted to run but my feet were rooted to the spot as Paul's warning bounced in my blank mind.

Before I could even blink, the whole thing ended and in front of me stood my silver wolf. For a second I thought I'd fallen asleep on the toilet, maybe even on the couch, but as I stubbed my toe on the doorframe, I realized this was very real.

"You've got to be shitting me," I mumbled amazed at how much space this huge animal took up, I knew he was big but in comparison to the shack . . . Well, it was a good thing I was in the bathroom.

Then my mind pieced it all together . . .

I slammed the door of the bathroom so hard the wall shook; I wanted to lean against it because the lock didn't work, yet my confusion sent me leaping into the bathtub, pulling my legs to my chest.

How the hell was that even possible? The wolf was Paul . . . Paul _was _the wolf.

This couldn't be real, there was no way, and it was a mockery of the rules of physics. People didn't just spontaneously combust into extraordinary sized animals like that. That was a thing of myths, and there wasn't even a full moon.

My head buzzed wildly, slamming against my skull as I tried to figure things out, when my head hit the wall I realized I was rocking uncontrollably. Had I finally lost my damn mind?

Noises from the other room brought my attention back to the reality and for a second I held my breath, wondering exactly what was coming for me. When the door flew open, it revealed a very human, and very naked Paul filling the frame.

My eyes widened as they traveled over his body and lingered on his well-proportioned anatomy. He really was beautiful, his well lined muscles seemed to define the tops of his thighs and that masculine V of his hips led my eyes right back to the where he hung free.

"Fuck, shit," Paul breathed, disappearing for a second leaving me with my mouth open in shock. It was definitely a testament to his body that he was able to distract me from what had happened only moments before.

By the time he got back, a little more dressed than he had been, my mind was in the same blur of frenzy it had been. There was so many words rolling over my tongue, but my first words to him, shocked even me.

"What the hell are you?"

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><p><strong>Nostalgicmiss: <strong>A very naked Paul! . . . Sorry, my mind drifted! At least it seems as though she's about to get that explanation she's been needing for oh... Fourteen or so chapters lol! The question is how is she going to react to things like vampires and imprints? And why did Paul wolf out? Thanks to all of you who read, alert, favorite and review. You guys really do blow our minds with your comments and we love you all for you passion when it comes to the characters. You're inspirational! Twinnifer, you're my best friend, my inspiration and my sister. You inspire me and keep me smiling and you're always sharing your genius with me! I love you so much, I am so honored to be writing with you! MWAH!

**Sabi'sSookie:** Weezy, a very naked Paul is enough to distract anyone! He distracts me frequently fully clothed so… Anywho, so the wolf is out of the bag! I know you all have been waiting forever for this! Now what is Bella going to have to say? And I am sorry for my failure of epic proportions for the lack of replies, but for those of you following Running Home, you know why ;) For those of you who don't… I figured my readers would want faster chapters for it and with a teething toddler (who is currently in my lap trying to "help" me type) it's all about time management! LOL! But I love and appreciate everything you guys have to say! You are all constantly making me giggle with your comments and we love that you guys are so passionate about these characters! So, thanks to everyone who alerted, favorite, reviewed or even just took the time to read! You all blow us away! Weezy, I can't tell you enough how awesome you are! I am so blessed to have you in my life and I love our brainshare! You are the best friend and surrogate sister a girl could ask for and I can't thank you enough for being in my life! I love you hard! ***SMOOSHES***


	16. Chapter 16 Paul

**All recognizable names are the property of Stephenie Meyer. We just like playing dress up in her shoes.**

**This story is not suitable for those under the age of 18. It is rated M, so if you're not old enough to buy a pack of smokes… we don't wanna know!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 9 Paul<br>**

_Every day and night  
>I feel my mind is going insane<br>Something I can't fight  
>Don't leave me<em>  
><strong>Don't Leave Me by Green Day<strong>

* * *

><p><em>Don't do it, dumbass.<em>

_She trusts you. She's back in your arms._

_Why the hell do you __**have**__ to know who she's texting?_

_You're going to fuck it up… Like always…._

My inner voice was right. It usually was. But she fucking knew I was curious… and jealous. Yet she left her phone right there. For anyone to just pick up and take a peek.

"Fuck it," I mumbled to myself and hurried off the couch to where her phone laid.

_'Alice and Emmett said they want to meet you! Emmett wants to have a movie marathon because he says you're the only one that appreciates the classics. Alice wanted to know if you wanted to come over for dinner tomorrow night. It's a Friday!'_

Edward Fucking Cullen!

She had been texting EDWARD CULLEN? A FUCKING LEECH?

I had nothing to worry about, she said. Nothing indeed. She was not only talking with the bloodsucking parasite, but apparently she was making plans with him and his little family of parasites!

My whole body shook, and the house shook with it. Her phone turned to a pile of electronic ash in my bare hands, but it was the least of my worries. The sound of the toilet flushing and running water let me know that I would be face-to-face with a very confused Bella Swan in a matter of seconds.

Control was not something that I possessed in that moment so when she opened the door, I warned her to stay back. I could imagine how I looked to her. My body quivering, threatening to explode. Spittle flying from my mouth with every labored breath. Her eyes were wide and frightened, but I suspect she was more frightened _for _me rather than of me.

_Oh, you have no idea, angel._

"What's going on?" Her voice was just short of panicked. I could only imagine the thoughts that ran through her head. She deserved so much better. Maybe the leech was right. He could obviously control himself much more than I could.

_No! Fuck that! That's my girl! MINE!_

Still she looked terrified and had absolutely no idea what she was witnessing. I knew I would phase at any moment and I just hoped she didn't pass out, or worse… run away.

"I'm sorry," I tried to tell her, but at that point I wasn't even sure if the words came out.

I felt the tell tale signs of the shift. My bones cracked and expanded. The ripping of my clothes. The explosion of fur. I'm sure to Bella it happened in the matter of a seconds, but for me I felt every piece of fur come into place. My lupine eyes focused on my angel.

Her eyes roamed my form, looking about as surprised as a person could get. There was no fear, only recognition. Of course she would know _her wolf_. Surprise was replaced with a look of… annoyance? Anger?

"You've got to be shitting me," she spoke her words almost absentmindedly.

She retreated fully back into the bathroom and slammed the door behind her. I could practically hear the gears turning in her mind. She was putting two and two together, and getting more pissed by the second. I focused all my energy on phasing back. It took a while considering all the emotions running through my system, but I finally did it. I stood up as Paul the man, about the time Bella emerged from the bathroom. Her eyes slid from my face, to my dick slowly. Her expression changing with every inch she covered. No longer was there anger on her face. She was completely focused on my… now hard dick.

"Fuck, shit," I scrambled as I reached to find something to cover myself with. As much as I liked the way she was eyeing me, it was not the right time for my perverted fantasies. Or my throbbing dick. I willed him to calm down, thinking of anything I possibly could.

_The time I walked in on Billy beating his meat. Yep, that'll do it!_

I ran to put on some clothes and when I returned, Bella's face was back to the angry mask. Shit, I was in trouble.

"What the hell are you?"

"Would you believe me if I said I spiked your soda with peyote?" I smiled, looking hopeful, but she shot that shit down quick.

"Paul! You just morphed into a GIANT WOLF! A wolf that I have seen before! I told you… I told you things! Personal things! And it's not a full moon! This is insane! Am I going insane?" She rubbed her eyes frantically as if trying to rid herself of the sight she had seen.

"No, baby. Sadly, you're not going crazy. The guys and me… we're wolves. We, uh, don't need a full moon. We can shift at will."

She nodded as if she was taking it all in. There was no way she could have been that calm. I just knew that she was going to freak out any second. She motioned for me to continue and after taking a long breath I did.

"So, our sole purpose is to keep our people safe from… vampires." She lifted her head up and looked me straight in the eye before bursting into laughter.

"Werewolves…. And…. And vampires?" Her laughter got louder and I worried that I had finally broken her.

"Angel, I know you think this is some elaborate prank, but it's all real. I'm a wolf, Jake is a wolf, Sam and Jared are wolves. Leah is a fucking wolf."

"Wait? Now you're going to tell me that Charlie is secretly a wizard, right?" She clutched her side and laughed some more.

"Bella!" I yelled getting her attention and ceasing her laughter.

"I'm not lying to you! This is as fucking real as it gets!" I tried to find some way to prove it to her, to make her understand.

"Remember the night you came back from Port Angeles and I flipped out? It's because you were covered in a fucking vampire's scent!" Her eyes grew wide.

"You mean… Edward?"

"Yes! You're fucking text buddy is a fucking vampire! It's why I freaked out! The thought of you being anywhere near my natural enemy makes me lose my fucking mind! You're mine, Bella! Not his!" My body began to shake again and Bella surprised me by running to me and wrapping her arms around my waist.

"Shhhh, we'll work all this out, Paul. But I need you to tell me everything." I nodded, knowing she was right.

I picked her up as gently as possible and sat us both on the couch.

"Our legends claim that we came from wolves…" I explained the legends of Taha Aki and the first of the shapeshifters. I told her every legend that I could think of. Minus one.

"So, this treaty? This means that the Cullens don't drink from humans, right? So, I'm safe?" I growled and tightened my grip on her.

"You're never safe as long as you are around them. They could lose control and you would be dead," I spat.

"Like you almost lost control before?" She asked with one eyebrow raised.

"It's not the same! When Sam accidentally… Oh shit." I knew then that there was no way around it. If I explained Sam and Emily I would have to explain imprinting.

"So it was Sam that made those scars on Emily?"

"Yes, but there's more. For you to understand you would have to know about imprinting."

"Then I guess you should tell me, shouldn't you?" The look on her face told me that it wasn't merely a suggestion. I nodded and swallowed thickly.

"The legends say that an imprint is the other half of a wolf's soul. The imprint was made specifically for the wolf and the wolf was made specifically for their imprint. A wolf will be anything the imprint needs."

She looked at me and I knew that she wanted to ask me. She wanted to know what it had to do with us, but she was being patient.

"Remember how I told you that Sam and Leah used to be together but then he met Emily?" She nodded. "Well, the reason he couldn't stay away from Emily was because he imprinted on her. The pull works on the wolf and the imprint, but it is much stronger for the wolf. Sam did his best to stay away from Emily. I've never seen someone try so damn hard to fight something, but he still left Leah. Emily stayed as far away from him as possible. In her mind he still belonged to Leah. So, one day he goes to her house. He wasn't eating or sleeping. He was just a shell of himself. He and Emily fought and he lost control and phased in front of her. She was too close and his claw got her."

Silent tears ran down my angel's cheeks and I kissed them away before continuing.

"As out of it as she was, Emily remembered everything. Sam never left her, and when she saw how devastated he was over what she had done she couldn't push him away anymore. She always told me that what she saw in his eyes, that love he had for her, overrode any arguments she had for being with him. They both hated that they hurt Leah, but they don't regret it. They can't."

"Paul," Bella asked in the smallest voice I had ever heard from her.

"Yes?"

"Did you… I mean, am I your imprint? Is that why…"

"Yes, I imprinted on you, Bella, but you are so much more than a fucking imprint. I know now why you were chosen for me. You're everything that I lack."

For a second I thought that we would be okay.

"So, when you had sex with Leah? Had you imprinted on me then?"

_Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!_

"Yes," I felt her move to get out of my arms but I held her tighter.

"WHY? You knew I felt that pull to you! I was going out of my mind trying to figure it out and you were screwing around with Leah! Sam let go if the girl he thought he would marry! Why? Why did he do that, Paul?"

"Because the thought of touching a woman other than Emily made him physically ill," I whispered, knowing how that would hurt her.

"Well, maybe you didn't really imprint? Because you sure as hell didn't seem to have that problem! Now let me go!" She twisted in my arms trying to break my hold on her.

"No! I'm not letting you go, Bella! I can't! Not anymore! Please!"

When her tiny hand connected with my cheek I just knew that was it. She was done with me.

"Paul. Son, just let her go." Charlie walked in the house behind Jacob and Sam.

Seconds. Seconds were all I had left of her. She would leave and never look at me again.

I blinked and felt the wetness of tears on my cheeks. Sam nodded to let me know that he understood. That he didn't think any less of me.

"Paul, she just needs some time," Charlie reasoned, pity evident in his eyes, but his concern for Bella won out.

"But haven't we had enough time? I've waited all my life for someone that just belonged to me! For one person to care about me! I thought the imprint meant she would love me!" I wasn't even capable of rational thought at that point. Panic overtook my every thought and emotion. If she left I would die. I was sure of it.

"Paul, just take deep breaths, okay?" My angel's voice and her touch calmed me.

"Don't leave. I'm sorry. I'm fucked up! I told you! But I just… I don't care if I deserve you because I want you! Please. I know you need time to think, but I'll be quiet. I'll sit here and not say a word! I won't even touch you. I just need you to stay." I pleaded with her and I refused to look at any of the men in the room. I had turned into a blubbering pussy with no pride and all I could find it in me to care about was whether or not Bella would stay. I was too emotionally driven to think of anything else.

"I'll stay for tonight, but I want my space, Paul." She sounded so tired. "You guys can go, we'll be fine." Charlie lingered a while and told us he'd be staying at Billy's incase we needed him.

He cared about me, but Bella was his actual flesh and blood. She was his only child.

"Thanks, Dad, but we're all right here." With a nod, Charlie ushered everyone out. I knew that one of the pack would be outside at all times incase I started to lose it, but the second she agreed to stay I calmed considerably.

"Why not just tell me all of this, Paul?" It had been two hours since she moved to my tiny bedroom while I stayed on the couch. At the sound of her voice I was at the doorway in an instant.

"Bella, look at me. As if the scars aren't enough, I know what people say about me. I know that they think I'm insane. And the ones that don't think that just want to, or already have fucked me. I didn't want you to look at me that way. I wanted you to see the man first. And honestly," I took a deep breath, "I was worried that you would break what little of my heart was left if I let you in. What if caring about someone turned me into my father? The natural progression of things is love, marriage, and babies. Do you honestly think I would wish myself on a kid?" I barked out a harsh laugh.

"Paul, I should have had a choice. And I'm assuming that Charlie knows?"

"Charlie knows everything." She nodded.

"And how did he handle it when he found out?" She raised an eyebrow.

"He asked Billy when he got a dog," I huffed, knowing what she was getting at.

"Paul, you have to give people a chance. You should have given me a chance. It was hard enough picturing you with Leah before, but you knew that I was meant for you and still slept with her." I nodded, ashamed.

"Was it difficult? To sleep with her?"

"It was and it wasn't. I thought of you, pictured you. I know that doesn't make it any fucking better, Bella. I know that!"

"Paul, it hurts. Makes it seem like you didn't want me."

"Bella, I wanted you the first second I saw you. Do you know how hard it is to control myself every single time I'm in the same room with you? How badly I want to rip your clothes off right now and worship every inch of your body? But you deserve so much better than that! You deserve a man who can actually remember how many women he's fucked! A man who knows how to love a woman! Bella, I could make you cum without ever touching you beneath your clothes, but you deserve better than some guy who just knows how to get you off! I've been trying and what I did was wrong, but I'm not just going to give up on you. You wanna' hang with a leech, I'll hate it, but I'll shut my mouth about it." Bella raised an eyebrow at me.

"Okay, so I may follow you and be jealous and overprotective as fuck, but I'll try."

"Paul, this is a lot to process and I'm still really hurt and angry with you, but I think I am on information overload and I need sleep."

I nodded and laid on the couch when my initial response was to follow her to the bed and curl up around her petite body. I heard every move that she made as she tried and failed to get comfortable. I knew that she would rest easier with me in the bed with her, but she wanted space and I was determined to do anything I could to show her that I would respect her wishes.

"Morning, son." It was still dark outside and Chief Swan was standing over me holding two cups of coffee.

"Mornin' Charlie." I sat up and rubbed my eyes.

"So, how'd it go, kid?" He asked as he nodded his head toward the front door.

"She's hurt… and pissed. She get her temper from you, Chief?"

"Nah, she got that from her mother." We both chuckled.

"Knew that shit with Leah would come back to bite you in the ass. My little girl's a tender hearted little thing, and for some damn reason she's always been pretty insecure. Finding out that the guy she's got it bad for is supposed to be bound to her, then finding out that guy, who is supposed to want only her… Son, what the fuck were you thinking? I mean, you had to know this would get around to Bella."

"Charlie," I took a deep breath and ran a hand through my hair, "I planned on fighting it. I wanted her to have someone better. I wanted you to have someone better for your daughter. I thought if I could fuck Leah… if I could do what Sam couldn't that it would be okay. The imprint would be broken and Bella could move on."

"Kid, you've always been like a son to me, so I'm just gonna' talk plain with you. That is the biggest load of horse shit I've ever heard. You and I have talked about this, so I'm not gonna' get into it again, but it's time for you to let all that insecure shit go. Now, are you gonna' tell me what set all this off last night?"

I smirked, knowing Charlie was going to flip.

"I found out who she's been talking to." Charlie gave me a look that said "AND?".

"Her new buddy is none other than Edward Cullen." I had never seen Charlie turn that shade of red. He tolerated the Cullens and even thought them to be decent beings with a respect for human life, but that was when they weren't getting involved with his daughter.

"Why would… what do they want with her?" I could hear his heart hammering away in his chest.

"Red… Edward, what the fuck ever his name is… he seems to have taken an interest in her. I don't think his feelings are entirely platonic." Just the thought had my body quivering again.

"I'm gonna' go have a talk with the Doc. Tell him to keep his _son_ in line."

"If you two are done gossiping like a bunch of old ladies, I would like to remind you that neither of you have a say in who I am friends with." Her voice startled us both.

"Now, Bells, you can't seriously expect me to be okay with you hanging out with vampires?"

"No vampires, but werewolves are okay?" She snorted and I had to admit the entire conversation just sounded ridiculous.

"Well," Charlie slapped his hands on his knees and stood from his place on the porch steps, "I guess I'll be headin' out. Seems that you two have a lot to talk about."

"Way to throw me under the bus, old man," I mumbled and he chuckled as he leaned down to kiss Bella's forehead.

"See ya' later, kid." He patter my back and left without another word.

"So, I guess we need to talk," Bella sighed and I nodded, dreading what she would say.

But I knew deep down that if she really was done that I would never be far. She could leave me but I would never leave her. Nor would I want to.

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><p><strong>Sabi'sSookie: Yes, I know that I suck at review replies! Like, I really really suck! But I want you guys to know that you are all super awesome and we appreciate every alert, favorite, and especially the reviews! You guys rock! Now, poor Paul… he really should have been honest to begin with, huh? So, what do you all think is going to happen now? Do you think Bella is going to be forgiving? Will Paul do something stupid? Doesn't he always? But anywho… Weezy, I just need you to know that you are the best friend a girl could have and I am so lucky that you allow me to write with you! Not to mention I get to read all your awesome stuff! I love you, Twinnifer!<strong>

**Nostalgicmiss:** Oh Paul, Paul, Paul, you thought she would run, but she didn't! I think Bella was more upset that she didn't know and that everyone had been hiding it from her. And then there's the fact that he screwed Leah _after_ he'd imprinted on her. I think that would sting for anyone! Men! What can you say other than that? Sometimes you just have to give them a kick up the ass. Thanks to all of you who Read, alert, favorite and Review. You blow our minds and you have no idea how much we appreciate you guys for taking the time out to let us know what you think! Love you loads guys! Brey . . . We've had this discussion before many a time lol! and I am the lucky one! You're an amazing friend and a joy to write with so therefore the honor is all mine, and I have the joy of being your pre reader too *Grin* :-P. I love you twinnifer! **  
>*SMOOSHES*<strong>


	17. Chapter 17 Bella

**All recognizable names are the property of Stephenie Meyer. We just like playing dress up in her shoes.**

**This story is not suitable for those under the age of 18. It is rated M, so if you're not old enough to buy a pack of smokes… we don't wanna know!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 9 - Bella<strong>

_And this is where I like to stand  
>And watch the swirling ways of man<br>To stir humanity with visions of dignity  
>To see what will conspire<br>If I throw myself into its fire  
><strong>On the Surface by Civil Twilight<strong>_

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><p>I couldn't sleep, not even here in Paul's bed where the smell of him surrounded me like a security blanket. There were too many thoughts in my head to quiet, and it seemed that every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was Paul exploding into his wolf-self.<p>

Then to find out that there weren't only giant wolves, but vampires as well . . . I kind of ended up feeling like I was living in a Brothers Grimm fairy tale. My earlier hysteria at the revelations aside, I felt as though I dealt with the whole thing with a surprising amount of calm. Outwardly at least.

Amazingly enough, the explanations had actually made sense to me. I wasn't sure if the fact that I believed all of this that blew my mind, or the fact that I'd found myself slap bang in the middle was the culprit. The only thing I knew with absolute certainty, was the pain that seemed to hover in the hollow cavity in my chest.

Paul had tried to defy the imprint.

Whether he realized it or not, his actions spoke louder than words. It was the only explanation that made him screwing Leah make sense. I knew when he told me how he felt about me now, he was telling the absolute unconscionable truth. But his debauchery with Leah, before he'd taken the time to get to know me, only seemed to say one thing – he'd been fighting the imprint.

Out of everything I had learned, I think this hurt the most. This was the one thing making it impossible to sleep. It weighed on my conscience. In his words, he'd explained it as we were made for each other, the other puzzle piece that made us complete. If that was the case, why would he have fought so hard?

My legs scissored under the blankets as I rolled to my side and had another lethal dosage of Paul filling my senses. I knew that every word he'd said about wanting to be better for me was the truth, so why couldn't I just accept that and move on?

I tried to distract myself and changed the theme that was ongoing in my head. Another name seemed to smash around in my head. Edward. He was a vampire. I'd never felt so ridiculous in my life than when I thought that word. Yet I had seen the seriousness in Paul's eyes when he'd explained it to me. There was really only one way to get answers about that and I knew that no one was going to particularly like it.

It was all such a clusterfuck. It explained a lot of behavior of people in my life, but it was still a mess that I had to try and sort through to get to the bottom of things. Paul's reaction to my attempting to leave last night, had broken my heart, and I knew I would have to address my concerns if we were ever going to move forward with things.

Dad had known, and once I hurdled the Paul problem, I knew I needed to speak to him. Then there was the rest of my friends. If I thought about it, the only candid person in my life had been Kim. I may not have always understood what she was talking about in the past, but with the truth liberated, it made so much more sense.

As the overwhelming information swirled around in my head, I finally drifted off into a restless sleep that was filled with mythical creatures and exploding Paul's that did nothing to help me wake more rested. I felt as though I'd been sleep deprived for a week.

When I rolled over on the bed, I heard the voices from the living room. It wasn't a big place and the walls were paper thin, so I could make out the deep resonating voice of Charlie, even if I couldn't decipher the words.

Curious, I got to my feet and swayed with fatigue. There was no way in hell I was going to school today, even if it was Friday. I just wanted to go home and climb into my own bed and sleep until I woke up with a resolution.

I made my way through the house to the front, and as I neared the door, the voices behind it became clearer through the small crack. I pulled it open a little more and watched my father and . . . Soul mate? Talk quietly amongst themselves as they sat on the porch steps, drinking coffee, in the gray morning light.

"Red . . . Edward, what the fuck ever his name is . . . he seems to have taken an interest in her. I don't think his feelings are entirely platonic."

I watched the shiver run down Paul's spine at his own words. Whatever he felt for me, it seemed to make his hate for Edward more intense than anything else. It was understandable considering they were sworn enemies, but whether or not Edward's feelings were platonic really was irrelevant.

I may have been confused about all of this new information, but it hadn't changed my mind about Paul. Slowly was the only way it could progress from this point, but he was, 'the other half of my soul,' as he'd put it, and that meant something to me. It had been that way since I first laid eyes on him.

"I'm gonna' go have a talk with the Doc. Tell him to keep his _son _in line," Charlie said quietly, his fingers running along the rim of his cup in contemplation. It was obvious he didn't exactly relish the thought of having to confront a vampire.

That was most definitely my cue to step in. I may have been confused and a little discombobulated about this whole situation, but I really didn't need people making my decisions for me. Whatever I chose to do with this information was my business. If I wanted to keep Edward as a friend, that was my prerogative. No one was going to make that choice for me, or take it away.

Sure the word _vampire_ was definitely a game changer, but I needed all sides of the story before I made a judgment.

"If you two are done gossiping like a bunch of old ladies, I would like to remind you that neither of you have a say in who I am friends with."

The two of them twitched with surprise at the sound of my voice. They'd been caught and they knew it. Charlie was the first to turn and look at me from his perch on the steps, the remnants of his anger still staining his cheeks as his mustache twitched.

"Now, Bells, you can't seriously expect me to be okay with you hanging out with vampires?" he said, his eyes pleading me to understand.

As much as I wanted to understand, all I could see was the hypocrisy. In this very confusing situation, where was the line drawn? What made one better than the other? I had to take Paul out of that equation because I knew what the answer would be in that situation.

"No vampires, but werewolves are okay?" I asked incredulously, folding my arms over my chest. Paul watched me closely, wiling me to look at him, but I kept my eyes on Charlie. Hoping that perhaps he could shed a light on the situation for me.

In true Swan fashion, Charlie pushed himself up from the porch steps with a slap on his leg and turned to face the two of us.

"Well, I guess I'll be headin' out. Seems you two have a lot to talk about."

I stepped forward, and down the first two porch steps as I watched him with a hint of amusement.

"Way to throw me under the bus old man," Paul muttered as Charlie gave me a peck on the forehead.

"See ya' later, kid," he chuckled in his usual good natured way and patted Paul's back with a paternal understanding before walking to his cruiser without another word.

Typical Charlie.

I watched him until he reached the cruiser, and lowered myself next to Paul.

"So I guess we need to talk," I exhaled with a sigh.

He didn't exactly look enthralled at the prospect, but I knew that it had to be done, we had to clear the air. I needed him to know how I felt about everything.

I took the coffee cup he handed me and sipped at it, my eyes on him as he looked out over the reservation. I wanted to reach out and reassure him, to let him know that I wasn't going anywhere, but I wasn't sure how to do that without taking away from the integrity of my argument.

"I don't know where to start," I admitted, leaning against the rail so I could turn to look at him. I was only wearing one of his shirts and my underwear, so I pulled the shirt over my legs as I situated them against my chest. "But it would help if you looked at me."

He unfolded his large body and turned on the step, arranging himself so he mirrored my position, the only exception were his long legs. He had one pulled against his chest, while the other stretched out along side me.

"I've been thinking a lot about what you said last night," I started, trying to capture his eyes with mine. "I tried to put all the pieces together, and it all seems to add up to one undeniable conclusion. You were trying to fight the imprint."

His eyes flickered to mine, and once there was contact, it seemed both of us were unable to break the connection. I could see the sadness behind that intense brown of his eyes, but I knew I couldn't relent yet.

"I thought you understood?"

"Understand what, Paul? Please, try and explain it to me, because just thinking about it hurts. You knew that I would be undeniably drawn to you, yet you did everything in your power to push me away."

"You're too fucking good for me, you always have been, you always will be. I didn't want to pull you into my poisonous life so I tried to fight it so I could set you free. You're all I think about, all the fucking time, and I know it's the same for you, but I had to try and save you from me."

"Save me from you?" I asked, scooting closer. My hand reached out and came to rest on his shin. "Paul, have you ever considered that you could be too good for me?"

He gave me an incredulous look and shook his head. He moved quickly until his body was so close to mine he took the edge off the crisp morning air.

"Never. You're more virtuous and kind than anyone I have ever known. Do you know how hard it is to be close to you like this and try to remember things like that. You're everything I'm not, Bella, you make me want to be better. Ask any of the guys, they see everything in my mind when we're in our wolf forms."

"You can read each others minds?"

"Only in wolf form, and I think you should be aware that the leech you've been talking to has the ability to read minds as well."

"Leech? You really don't like them do you?"

"We're natural enemies, it's the only thing we know. Just knowing he laid his dead hands on you makes me ill. You're pure, and he's pure evil. Whatever you thought around him, he obviously knows about. I hate that he has access to your mind and I don't."

"I've only ever seen him once, Paul. If he can read minds through text messages then I will be very impressed."

"They're dangerous, Bella. Cold blooded killers. They may think they have their nature under control, but with your natural ability to trip over thin air, it would take a small scrape to turn them into the blood hungry fiends they are by nature."

"You know I'll have to confront him about this."

Paul let his head fall back on his shoulders as a complete look of torment filled his features. I knew it was against everything for him to let me get that close to danger, so I decided it was best to make a compromise.

"Okay, how about this, I'll call him rather than talk to him face to face? That way I get answers, and you will know I'm safe."

He dropped his head to look at me and knew that even this compromise was against everything he stood for.

"Fine, we'll come back to that. I have some other questions."

His arm circled my waist and he edged closer still. I knew I should stop him so we could clear things like this up, but everything about me sang when he was this close and I needed the feeling, so taking a leap of faith, I leaned into him.

"So are you conscious of everything as a wolf?"

He nodded before resting his cheek on the top of my head. I could feel his warm breath in my hair as I relaxed into him.

"The wolf is an extension of ourselves. We're in full control of our actions and our thoughts, we just have the ability to communicate with one another in that form. Sam thinks it's because as a pack we're linked together. Having that mental bond means we can communicate with one another, it gives us an advantage over our enemy."

"So you remember everything I said to you as a wolf?"

"I'm sorry, I'd planned to stay in the shadows, but I couldn't. Once I saw you there I needed to be closer to you."

"And you still avoided me when I told the wolf that I took the blame?"

"I'm irrational." He shrugged around me. "I felt hurt and vulnerable. I was sure that you were going to walk away from me."

"You can be a real idiot, you know that?"

He chuckled into my hair before pressing his lips to the crown of my head. He closed the last of the distance and folded himself around me as though I were something precious that needed protecting.

"You're not off the hook, you know."

"I know, I don't deserve to be forgiven. I was stupid to keep all of this from you, but the thought of losing you because of what I am was more than I could handle. In hindsight it seems pretty stupid. You were right last night when you asked how Charlie took it, I should have known you'd have been more understanding if I told you. Instead, I sprang it on you."

"Literally," I snorted, wrapping my arms around his bicep. "Just promise me something."

"Anything."

"Promise that you'll try to trust me. That you'll talk to me about things before blowing it all out of proportion. Even if you think I'm going to be pissed off. I know you're used to people walking away, Paul, but you have to trust that I won't. If I need space, you have to understand that it's exactly as it sounds, I will come back."

"I'll try."

"That's all I'm asking for," I sighed, watching the door to the Black house open.

Jacob stepped out and scanned the area, his eyes landing on Paul and I curled up on his porch. He smiled, and offered a half wave before walking tentatively toward us. He stopped at the bottom of the stairs and dropped his bag by his feet.

"We're gonna be late."

"I'm cutting, I didn't sleep last night," I yawned.

"You sure about that? You said you had a quiz in your lit class."

"Shit," I groaned, leaning into Paul and burying my face there. I was in no state to go to school. Thankfully, the lit class was second period, if I took the quiz I could leave and be home in bed before lunch. "Fine, let me grab a quick shower."

Paul's arms tightened around me, his face moving from the top of my head into my neck.

"I'm going to take the test and head home for a nap. I'll be back by the time you finish work."

"If you must," he sighed with exaggeration, releasing his grip on me. "Just call me when you get home, so I know you're safe."

"I would," I said, leaning in to kiss his cheek. "But you murdered my phone."

"Fuck."

"That's what you get for prying," I sang, standing up and letting the shirt fall over my bare legs.

I took a quick shower and made it to school with only seconds to spare. The first class was spent staring at a wall while my brain edged around some of the facts I had learned. My eyes flickered to Jared on occasion as I tried to figure out what set the wolves apart from everyone else.

Their height was a definite indication, all of them dwarfed me, including Leah. They were all exceptionally warm and ate like pigs. Other than that there was nothing I could pin point. It wasn't like my brain was working at full capacity, I was too tired to concentrate, so I went back to staring at a poster on the wall and tried to preserve my energy for the lit test.

Thankfully, no one noticed me leave after lit class, and as I climbed into my truck I was tempted to go back to Paul's to sleep because I wasn't convinced I could drive all the way home without pulling over for a nap. Unfortunately, the appeal of the bed at home was too much to resist and I took a chance and drove to Forks.

I was out the moment my head hit the pillow, and when I finally opened my eyes it was dark outside. I reached for my phone but cursed out loud when I realized that it was no longer. I would have to drive to Port Angeles to replace the thing.

I knew Paul would be worried, I'd told him I would come over after he finished work, and that was . . . As I looked at the clock, movement in Grandma Swan's rocking chair caught my eye.

There was someone in my room with me, they'd been sitting watching me sleep. If it was Paul, I knew I would have felt that ease I seemed to have around him, and that was very much absent. It wasn't Paul sat in the chair, and the moment that started to sink in I felt my heart rate rise until it pounded against my ribs and echoed in my ears.

My hand reached out into the darkness looking for the baseball bat Charlie had insisted I keep by the bed. I'd never thought anyone would be stupid enough to break into the chief of police's house, but here it was a reality and I couldn't find the end of that damn bat to save my life.

"You're awake."

"Freak. I'm calling the cops you have ten seconds to get the hell out of here."

"No you're not," the voice replied with a hint of humor as he rocked in the chair. "You know it would make it a lot easier to find the bat with the light on."

I swallowed compulsively and eyed the door, wondering what my chances were of getting there before him.

"Just turn the damn light on, Bella."

I leaned forward, following his orders while my heart hammered in my throat. Flicking the little switch I threw myself back into the wall with a thud, light flooded the room illuminating everything in its path. There, sat on my grandmother's rocking chair was Edward.

"What the hell are you doing here? You scared the shit out of me, Edward. I mean who does that? You realize how freaking creepy that is right? You're lucky I don't bat you for being such an asshole."

Then something quite frightening occurred to me.

"I thought vampires had to be invited in?"

Edward looked startled for a second, then rubbed his forehead in frustration. I guess he hadn't been expecting me to know his little secret. I watched him closely as I slid against the wall toward the door that was cracked open, just the way I'd left it.

"Bella, sit down. I'm not going to hurt you."

I slid down the wall obediently, and watched him with wide eyes. From everything Paul had told me, the last thing I wanted to do was piss him off and break his tenuous hold on his placid side.

"Really? You could have sat on the bed, Bella. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm still the same guy you met in the bookstore. I'm still the guy you've been texting all week. Nothing's changed."

He pushed out of the rocking chair and offered me his hand. I finally took it and started pacing the room as he retreated to his corner and the rocking chair.

"You say nothing's changed, but you're not denying the whole vampire thing either."

"There's no point. You're a smart girl, although I was hoping it would stay a secret."

"Yeah, kinda difficult when your boyfriend explodes into a giant wolf."

Edward's eyebrows arched on his forehead barely making a crease in the skin as he moved. Now I knew what he was it was easier to see his differences than it was to see the wolves. He was pale, his skin was flawless and his amber eyes were bright and unusual. I wasn't sure why I hadn't noticed any of this before; but then I had only met him once.

"I came to see if you were all right, when you didn't text back, I figured something had gone wrong."

"Okay, that's nice and all but it's bullshit. I don't mean to be rude, Edward, but why are you here? Really, I mean."

Edward stared at me with an amused smile on his lips, his hand reached out and ran along the curtain slowly before making it's way to one of my sweaters. The bastard was trying to leave whatever smell set Paul off around my room. I really didn't appreciate that, especially after the whole treaty thing Paul had explained to me. If I had to hazard a guess he was trying to provoke Paul.

"Stop it, and talk or get the fuck out," I snapped.

Inclining his head, Edward stood up from the chair and approached me slowly.

"There are some nomads in the area and I wanted to check on you. No doubt the mutts have caught the scent and are on the trail which would leave you vulnerable. Especially when you sleep with your window open."

I threw out my arms. "Here I am, all safe and sound. Thanks for stopping by."

I turned to head the door, but found myself hitting the wall, Edward's back pressed tightly to me as he threw his arms out.

"Don't move."

"That. Would be an impossibility," I growled.

"It would also be quite useless," a sinister voice said from somewhere in my room. "I could smell her from the forest, strawberries and . . ." An over-exaggerated sniffing sound filled the quiet of my room. ". . . Freesia's, delectable."

"You're making a huge mistake, James."

"Ahh, you're the one that reads minds. I wondered when we'd meet."

"Hello," I huffed. "Do vampires have no concept of personal property? Or space?"

There was a shuffling sound from behind me and I tried to move, but was pushed against the wall and caged by a set of arms. Edward was still against me, but crouched in an attack stance. I could barely see James from my vantage point, but I did manage a sighting of creepy red eyes.

"Bella, when I open the door, run."

Run. Right. Not a problem.

Edward moved us toward the door, and I was aware of a growling filling the room. it was feral, and angry and shook me to my very core. Running would not be a problem. He released me from my cage as the handle came into view, stepping forward he gave me enough space to move, and I didn't hesitate. Throwing open the door, I took off leaving thunder in my wake.

The sound was tremendous and shook the house on it's foundation. Growls and snapping of teeth were like a marching band was passing through the house. I stumbled down a couple of stairs and saved myself with the railings before continuing my descent.

I ran to the closest door and threw it open, launching myself from the porch. I landed neatly for the first time in my life and took off toward the side gate that would lead me to the neighbors house. Charlie had told me I should go there at any sign of trouble.

Before I got close, arms closed around my waist and lifted me from the ground, leaving me kicking and wriggling uselessly. It was like I was trapped by a building, I couldn't fight against it.

"Where you going, beautiful?" An accented voice asked with glee. His cold breath, brushed against my neck and I panicked. It was a vampire, it had to be. Paul had said they were strong and cold and I had all the proof I needed right here.

"Let me go."

"Where's the fun in that?" he mused. "James was right, you smell delectable."

I screamed. I'm not ashamed to admit I was terrified and I was running out of options so I opened my mouth and let off the most piercing scream I could muster. His hand clamped down over my mouth, cutting me off completely.

"That was a mistake."

A snarling growl ripped through the air as I tried for freedom again, the man behind me spun with me still in his arms, and I saw the most beautiful sight I'd ever laid eyes on.

A wolf.

My wolf, his silver fur raised at the hackles, stood before us teeth bared, saliva falling in long threads with his ears pinned to his head. Like this he looked truly frightening, but I knew he was here to save me.

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><p><strong>Nostalgicmiss: <strong>See Edward popped up and trouble followed him. At least Bella had the sense to be frightened of him when she saw him, though she's in a bit of a pickle. I guess her wolf was right to check in on her after all. Though I am certain that the smell of unusual vamps tipped them off. I want to thank all of you that read, alert, favorite and Review. You're all amazing and you have no idea how much Sabi and I love to her your thoughts on this :) . . . Sabi, as always twinnifer it is a joy and honor to write with you! You're amazing and brilliant and I couldn't imagine not having you in my life bestie! Love you loads MWAH!

**Sabi'sSookie:** Well, Edward was trying to help… but it was still creepy! LOL! If I had been Bella I would probably have whacked him a good one with that bat, not that it would have done any damage. Hard headed vampires! So, the red-eyed vamps have come out to play and it looks like there's gonna' be a showdown at the Swan's! Are you guys worried about Paul? I know you're not worried about Edward! You sparkly peen haters! Bahahahaha! I kid, but seriously, looks like things are about to get dicey in Forks! Thank you all for all your support by way of alerts, favorites, and reviews! Like Weezy said, we appreciate every single one! You all continue to blow us away! And Weezy, I just have to say back atcha on all of that, because you are all those things and more and I would be so lost without you! Love you back, bestie! ***SMOOSHES***

**Nostalgicmiss:** Sparkly Peen Haters! I die laughing! You're a genius!


	18. Chapter 18 Paul

**All recognizable names are the property of Stephenie Meyer. We just like playing dress up in her shoes.**

**This story is not suitable for those under the age of 18. It is rated M, so if you're not old enough to buy a pack of smokes… we don't wanna know!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 10 Paul<br>**

_A stifling surge  
>Shooting through all my veins<br>Extreme apprehension  
>Suddenly I'm insane<em>  
><strong>Panic Attack by Dream Theater<strong>

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><p>The day drug on as the anticipation of seeing Bella again made me practically giddy. Sam laughed out loud once when he heard me actually fucking humming and smiling. Apparently that was rare for me. Who would have guessed that a slip of a girl could turn me into such a pussy. I went home from work, still elated that Bella was willing to even consider working on things with me. When the hours rolled by and there was no Bella, I got a bit worried, wondering if she had changed her mind. I thought she might have tried to call so I checked my phone again before remembering that her phone was no longer.<p>

A long howl sounded out in the distance. It was the alarm that meant there were leeches. All I could think of was Bella and I was phasing before I was even fully out my front door. I saw through her thoughts that Leah had been the first to discover them, and had made an attempt at fighting them off alone. She was hurt, but was still fighting off a female leech with flaming red hair.

I wanted to tell her to be careful, but all I could think of was the piercing cry that came from my mate.

"_Don't worry about me!"_ Leah ordered. _" I got this bitch! I tried to get to Bella, Paul! I swear, but there were three of them… and a Cullen."_

I was sure that my thoughts made absolutely no sense as they were a jumbled mess, even to me, but all I could remember thinking was that Cullen was to blame and I would make him pay. No longer did I have to hear my girl scream through Leah's thoughts. I broke through the trees, every muscle in my body tight and ready for battle. Bella's eyes were wide and terrified, but as soon as she saw me, her body relaxed. She trusted that I would save her. Before I could take so much as a step in their direction, a blond leech with a girlie ponytail stood before me, blocking my path. Cullen stood beside me and nodded.

"_This is your fault, fucker and when these three are dealt with, your pasty ass is mine."_ He nodded infinitesimally to let me know that he understood.

"Yes, James, she is his mate. If you kill her I can assure you that there would be nowhere you could run that he wouldn't find you." I snarled and crouched down, ready to pounce at any moment.

"Laurent," Cullen looked to the dreaded leech that held my angel, "I know that you tire of this life. There is another way. A coven in Alaska that could show you. The coven also possesses three very lovely unmated females."

I didn't see his reaction because the blond leech took the tiniest step in my angel's direction and I didn't hesitate. He was fast but I was faster. With a deafening screeching sound I ripped his right arm from his body.

"_Cullen, if you fucking get a chance to get to her, you don't fucking hesitate, you hear me?" _ I wanted him to know that she was the only thing that mattered in the whole fucked up situation.

Even with one arm, the fucking prick was tough. His teeth came within inches of my neck. I turned just in time to avoid him and when we faced off again the fucker smiled at me.

"I think I'll fuck her before I kill her. Virgin pussy is always the sweetest." He inhaled deeply. "I can smell her innocence. Shame you will never get a chance to taste it."

I lunged and he evaded. It was like a choreographed dance, but Sam and Jake stepped through the trees creating a momentary distraction. All around me I could hear the sounds of tearing granite flesh. I left the blond leech's dismembered corpse for Jake to put in the fire.

The dreaded leech was making a keening screeching sound in protests as Cullen threw his head into the fire. His other arm was around Bella in a gesture of comfort and I growled loudly to warn him off.

"_You've done enough damage, fucker! Now remove your arm before I remove it for you!"_

He held his hands up in surrender about the same time my girl realized that it was over. A loud cry escaped her lips and her arms wrapped tightly around my neck, pulling and tugging at my fur.

"What the fuck is going on out here?" Charlie came around the corner of the house, shotgun on his shoulder, ready to fire. Cullen went on to explain just as the rest of his coven showed up. The little pixie apologized profusely saying that she had seen too late and they had tried to get there faster. How Charlie had slept through all the commotion I would never know. The old bastard probably would have gotten himself killed trying to kill one of those sparkle-peened fuckers to protect his little girl. And it would have killed Bella to see Charlie die… it would have killed me a little too.

Voices were raised everywhere and Charlie said he had never been more thankful that the little old lady next door was practically deaf and blind. He couldn't have imagined trying to explain all the shit that was going on in his back yard.

"Paul," Bella whimpered, "I need your arms. Please."

I didn't give a fuck that I was naked for all to see. I changed back to my human form and slipped her legs around my waist, holding her tightly against my body. She was trembling, but I could feel her holding back, wanting to be strong.

"I'm going to take you home, Angel, then you can let it all out, okay? You're so fucking brave, but I'm here now and I'm going to fucking take care of you." I peppered her face with kisses and held her as tightly as I could without hurting her.

"Ahem," the pixie cleared her throat and giggled. If I hadn't respected her damn mate so much I probably would have snapped at her.

"Ali, honey, I'm sure he knows he's missin' his britches. Let's leave the man alone. I think it'd be best if we went on home." I nodded my thanks to him and Ginger was hesitant but Jasper told him he needed to talk to the rest of the "family".

"Charlie, I know you want her here, but I need to take her home. You could stay at Billy's, maybe?" Charlie nodded and I could see the sheer terror in his eyes. He had known about the supernatural world, but never had he witnessed it first hand or seen the damage it could do.

"Paul, I don't give a fuck what you say or think about yourself. You fucking saved my baby girl, and there is no one else I would rather have protecting her." His voice was thick with emotion as he instructed me to get in the cruiser with her, that he would drive us to my house. While he went inside to grab Bella some clothes Sam stepped out of the trees in human form and dressed in a pair of cut offs.

"Leah was hurt, but she'll be okay. She said to tell you that she's sorry and that she understands now. She fucking imprinted on some dude from Forks and was on her way to tell you how sorry she was for not understanding when she got the leeches' scents. She ran straight there, and she put up a good fight, but the female got away. She's missing a huge fucking chunk of her side, though and is leaking venom all over the place so we're going to keep looking for her. The Cullens are going to help."

"Is Leah all right?" Bella asked, her cheek still resting on my shoulder. As glad as I was that Leah was safe and happy, I was still pissed at her for being such a bitch. And my sweet angel was concerned for her. It just showed how perfect she really was.

"She will be. We heal quickly. She's just pissed that she didn't take the bitch out. Her words." He smiled a sad smile. "She said to tell you she was sorry too, Bella."

"It's okay. I hope she can be happy now," I had never heard my angel sound so tired.

"Me too," Sam sighed. "Me too."

The drive to my shack was silent and Charlie just gave me a nod then kissed Bella's forehead and told her he loved her and that he would be at Billy's if she needed him. Bella smelled of leech and I couldn't handle it any longer. Without saying a word, I began gently removing her clothes and turned on the shower. She never said a word. There wasn't even a blush of embarrassment once she was fully bare before me. While she was beautiful, there was nothing sexual about what I was doing. I needed us both clean of the stench of death and fear.

I started with her long soft hair and then reverently worked my way down her body, washing every inch of her, not wanting to leave a single scent on her but mine. When I lowered myself to my knees to wash her legs, her tiny hands threaded through my hair and I realized that she was washing me too. I buried my face into her stomach and let her fingers glide over the parts of my body that she could reach. No one had ever touched me so gently, or with so much care.

"I was so fucking scared, angel," I murmured against her skin.

"Paul, let's finish here and get out. I just need you to hold me." I nodded and after a small, open-mouthed kiss to her flat stomach I made quick work of getting us both cleaned. I felt like I should dress us both, but my girl decided against it and pulled me to the bed with her.

"J-j-just holllllllld m-me." Her teeth chattered and whether it was from being cold or from fear I wrapped myself around her soft body.

"I thought I'd never see you again!" She cried, finally letting go of everything she had been feeling. "They were going to kill me. And that blond one… I heard what he said. He would have raped me then killed me. All I could think was that I wanted it to be you! I wanted to give that to you! And he was going… he was going to _take it_!"

"Bella, I never would have let that fucking happen! No one will ever touch you against your will, and if I have my way no one but me will ever touch you period. I will kill any mother fucker that dares to even think about touching you."

A profound need to kiss her overcame me. "I'm sorry, angel, but I have to."

I tried to be as gentle as possible, not wanting to make it sexual. She was surely traumatized and scared, but I just needed to taste that she was still in fact untainted by that sick fuck. My body pulsated with the need to mark her; to make her mine, but I wouldn't even dare to try.

Bella, however, had a mind of her own. She moaned into my mouth and let her hands trail down my body. I grabbed her hands and pulled back to look at her.

"Do you not want me anymore? Because of what he said?" Her eyes filled with tears and it was almost too much to take.

"Baby, you have no fucking idea! But I don't want you to do this to prove something. You're in shock and probably a little fucking scared and that's okay…" She cut me off with her mouth.

After a long, toe-curling kiss, she spoke.

"Paul, we don't know what tomorrow holds. I know that I don't want another day to go by without knowing what it feels like to have you all over me… in me. I love you, Paul, and I don't want to wait anymore to say it, or show it. I'm yours, and you're mine, right?" She bit her bottom lip and looked up at me so innocently that I thought I would cum right there.

"Fuck, baby, I don't think this is the right time, and I'm almost certain you'll regret this tomorrow."

"I won't," she assured me. "I feel like my body is… I can't describe it. I just know that I need this with you."

"It's the imprint. When we're _together, _when I mark you that way, our scents will forever be attached to one another. Any vampire or werewolf that comes near you will know that you belong to me. Because I won't be able to stop the compulsion to mark. It's part of the imprint as well. It settles down this need. But I don't want to do that until you're sure. There's no rush, baby."

"Paul, I almost died. Someone else was going to mark me as theirs and kill me. You don't know that there is time. That's not the only reason I want this, but do you really want to risk it? Wouldn't you rather I walk around… smelling of you."

For being an innocent, that girl was the most seductive little minx I had ever met. I knew it was wrong, and I shouldn't have done it, but the wolf in me was dying to mark her and the man in me was dying to be inside her. She was giving herself to me like some sort of precious gift and I was tired of resisting. I began kissing my way down her beautiful body.

"No, Paul, come here," she beckoned me and I raised an eyebrow at her.

"You want to do this, we're doing it my way. You first, angel. You will always come first." I licked my lips and stared at the glistening apex between her thighs. She jerked a little when my tongue came in contact with her soft lips.

"Just relax, baby," I spoke against her sex and she moaned. She was so sensitive. So responsive for me. Her little mewls and moans almost did me in, but I made sure to listen to them, to find what she liked, what made her feel good. After a few moments of my gentle licks and kisses, her body relaxed into my touch and I slowly slid one finger inside of her. I wondered how I would ever fit as that part of her body seemed to match her everywhere else in her petite-ness, but damn if it didn't make me impossibly harder. I could feel her barrier with my finger, but I didn't push through.

Her clit had hardened into a little bundle of nerves and she cried out as I nipped at it with my teeth. Her body shook and stiffened with her orgasm and she cried out my name. I made sure to prolong it by increasing the speed on my tongue on her sensitive clit and while she was riding waves of euphoria I allowed my finger to break through her barrier. The only indication that she felt it was a quick his of air through her teeth.

"Hard part's over, angel." She looked down at me with wonder in her eyes. Her vulnerability amazed and humbled me.

"You're so fucking beautiful, Bella. I could spend all day, every day, just worshiping you." I kissed my way up her stomach until I reached her breasts that were rising and falling rapidly with each breath.

"Ah!" She cried out as I took a rosy nipple in my mouth and let my finger move lazily around her slit. After a few moments she was writhing against my hand and I couldn't wait any longer. I let the head if my dick enter her slowly to let her adjust and I fought every urge in my body to just bury myself in her.

"More, Paul," her breathy whisper let me know that she was ready for me to move. I was thankful that I had already broken her barrier. I didn't want her to ever associate pain with me being inside of her.

"So full," she whimpered beneath me and I moved as slowly as possible, letting her slickness from her previous orgasm coat me.

"Nothing has ever felt better than this," I told her before kissing her reverently. None of the girls I had ever fucked compared to the feeling if being inside my Bella. It was like every piece of her body was made to fit perfectly with mine. The thought made my balls tighten and my body ached to mark her inside and out.

The speed of my thrusts increased and I looked at her face, making sure there was no discomfort present. Her eyes were so hooded that she almost looked drugged and her pouty lips were parted slightly as she breathed in time with my thrusts.

"I'm going to fucking mark you, baby. I just…" I grunted as I fought off my orgasm. I wanted her to cum again before I finished like some horny teenager. I reached to the place where we were joined and rubbed her where she was swollen for me.

"I'm going to mark you right here…" I licked the area of flesh right above the dip of her collarbone, "when I cum inside you. But I need you to come with me, baby. Can you do that?"

If the "Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck" that escaped her lips wasn't any indication, the way her walls clenched around me told me all that I needed to know. I bit down on her tender flesh, injecting the saliva that we secreted just for that purpose as I spilled into her in hot, heavy spurts.

I licked the area where I had bitten her then looked in her eyes. I knew mine must have reflected the love I felt for her. I wanted to say it, but I just couldn't. I wanted to tell her that I loved her and that I wanted to hold her forever. And maybe I would have gathered up the courage had she not shocked the shit out of me.

"You say that I'm the beautiful one, but Paul, I've never seen anything more beautiful than the way you look when you are coming in me like that. There's no tension," she traced her fingers along my cheek where a tear had fucking fallen, "only joy and peace. I brought you peace."

She looked so in awe that she could do that to me. Her beautiful eyes filled with tears as a serene smile appeared on her face.

"Bella, there is no sight more breathtaking than the look on your face when you cum. Your lips part, and it looks like you want to scream, but instead you make this quiet, beautiful cry. And feeling you cum around me. Shit, I'm getting hard again."

Bella giggled and I kissed her while playfully tickling her side. I became instantly distracted by the way her pussy moved around my dick and quickly became caught up making love to her again. That time was a little wilder but not any less amazing. I rolled us over and pulled Bella on top, desperate to see her tits bounce as she rode me. She was a little shy at first, but as soon as I gripped her ass and nibbled on her tits she seemed to come out of that pretty fucking quick. I have no idea how it was even possible, but she looked even sexier as she bounced on top of me. Her tits were round and perky and they jiggled in all the right ways. The more she got into her movements, the louder her moans became and when she came she pulled my face to her chest, gripping my hair tightly and screaming my name. I followed right behind her and I swear I fucking saw stars!

"Damn, baby, you're really fucking good at that!" I said before kissing her loudly on the lips.

"You're not so bad yourself," She winked, but then winced as she made to lift herself off of me.

"Come on, baby, I'll get a bath ready for you." Once again, I was distracted and failed to say the words on the tip of my tongue. I bathed her and she was asleep in my arms before I could fully get her dried off. For the first time in years, I slept a sound, nightmareless sleep. In fact, the only dream that I had was one where Bella was being chased around by a little boy, dressed as a cowboy, while I was tied to a tree, dressed in a loincloth, feathers, and war paint. My angel found the irony of my son's favorite game, Cowboys and Indians, very entertaining while I pretended to sulk. I awoke with the picture of our son's face etched in my mind, and an empty bed.

"Bella?" I called as I padded out of the bedroom. She was nowhere in sight and I fought the panic that welled up inside of me.

"I didn't fucking tell her! Fuck!" I just knew that she was hurt and upset. If I had only gathered up the fucking courage to tell her that I loved her!

_Why do I always have to fuck it up?_

I immediately went over to Billy's to see if Bella had been by. They said she had left with Charlie to go get her truck then she had something to do.

"Did she fucking say she'd be back?" My voice was panicked and I didn't fucking care who knew it. That female leech was still out there and I didn't trust the ginger Cullen to stay away from her. I didn't even bother with the pretense of my car. I ran all the way to her house. Charlie was gone and so was her truck. Luckily for me the truck had a small oil leak so I could follow the scent. I wouldn't let her regret being with me. I would fucking tell her that I loved her a thousand times over. I followed the scent until I reached her truck. It was pulled haphazardly on the side of the road but Bella was not inside. In a rage, I ran to the only place I could think of.

Their stink permeated the air, but it didn't matter. I burst through the front door, shattering the wood to splinters, looking for any sign of Bella.

"Bella!" I bellowed, noticing the confused looks on the faces of the Cullens.

"She's not here, man," Jasper looked at me worriedly.

"Where's your _brother_?" I sneered.

"Edward is showering. He was out all night looking for Victoria and just came in for a bit. What's going on?" The Doc joined us and I shivered as he took a step forward.

"Paul? Where's Bella?" _Edward_ was in front of me in an instant, his face filled with panic. He had no idea where she was.

"What the hell did you do?" He asked as he took in my scent. Bella was all over me and I could only imagine what he thought seeing me freaking out the way I was.

"Not what you think, fucker. If she's not here I have to go. I found her truck abandoned on the side of the road." I didn't get to finish because the little pixie burst into the room, her eyes pitch black and wild with fright.

"ALICE?" Edward yelled. "How long? Does she already have her? Where?" I looked back and forth between them, wondering what the fuck they were talking about. Alice decided to clue me in.

"Call your pack members, Victoria has Bella. She's…. she's torturing her. It's already bad, but we can still save her. I can't see what happens once we find her because of the pack, but I just know she is alive when we get there! Jas, I need you to call Sam for Paul, because he doesn't look like he's going to be human for much longer."

"No need," I spat, knowing someone would be on patrol. Once again I released my wolf who was snarling and foaming at the mouth. I could feel her… Bella. She was being strong, but I could feel her fear.

"_What's up, Paul? Dad said you took off like your ass was on fire. Bells was just going to the store to get food for…"_ My thoughts let him know that right then wasn't the time.

"_Get the pack NOW! This bitch won't get away alive this fucking time_."

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><p><strong>Sabi'sSookie: So, you guys and gals ready for this? Did Paul overreact? Are you hoping the Cullens will earn their keep? I'm betting you are all ready to shoot us for the cliffy! Sorry…. Well, not really because I love a good cliffy! But I will apologize for my lack of review replies! I suck! Then again, I was sick and so was my little man and we're preparing to move, so it can be excused, right? But you guys should know how much we love and appreciate the love you give in the form of alerts, favorites, and reviews! We adore you guys, and I always love hearing what you have to say! Now, Weezy, my BFF, my Twinnifer, my PIC (partner in crime)… I love you hard! You are the best friend a girl could have and I am so blessed to not only get to be your bestie but to write with you and read all your awesome stuff! *<strong>**SMOOSHES*******

**Nostalgicmiss: **Bella finally got some of that sweet Paul loving! You know she's gotta be happy about that! Especially when her man saved her ass as well! Unfortunately, now she's gone and she's in trouble. She really is a magnet for danger. Although I still blame Edward for the first run in with the nomads. I mean lets face it, Bella's house would have reeked of wolf and would have more than likely turned the nomads off, even if they weren't sure why! But Edward _had_ to check on her! Now she's in trouble again! Thank you to every one of you that read, added us as a favorite and alerts, and reviewed. You guys seriously blow us away! Listening to you hate on Edward cracks me up. I never realized *Snort* You guys are awesome! Brey, my twinnifer, BFF, and as you said PIC, which I love by the way! You are the most amazing person, and friend a girl could ever ask for! Thank you for always being there and being amazing! I am so honored to have you in my life, and to have the opportunity to write with you! I also feel like I'm the lucky one getting to read your stories as a pre reader :) I love you bestie! Thanks for being you and for being awesome! MWAH! **  
><strong>


	19. Chapter 19 Bella

**All recognizable names are the property of Stephenie Meyer. We just like playing dress up in her shoes.**

**This story is not suitable for those under the age of 18. It is rated M, so if you're not old enough to buy a pack of smokes… we don't wanna know!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 10 Bella<strong>

_Touch me and then turn away  
>Put your hands into the flame<br>Tell me if you feel this pain  
>'Cause I don't want to be a ball and chain<br>**Hanging On by Active Child**_

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><p>After the waking nightmare of the day before, I actually woke up feeling better than I had in long time, even if I was a little warm. The horror of what had happened at my home had traumatized me, there was no denying that, but seeing Paul stood there looking so ferocious in his wolf body had awoken something in me.<p>

I'd known, with everything I was, that he he would never let anything hurt me. When he'd attacked the vampire named James, he'd sent Edward, his natural enemy, to protect me. Whether or not he liked the guy was irrelevant, and when Edward had wrapped his arms around me and whispered Paul had sent him, I went with him, knowing that if Paul had put aside their differences long enough to keep me safe, it was huge.

I had watched from the side lines as the destruction unfurled, the noise was tremendous, but the sight had been so much more. The moment the dust had settled and only my protectors stood standing, Paul had come to me, and the warmth of his fur close against me was all I could think about.

There was so much going on, but the one thing I knew was I needed Paul, the human Paul. He didn't blink at my request, and in an instant he was stood in front of me pulling me into his arms. I was trying to be strong, but the moment my body fused with his, my mind checked out. I could have lost him, and that, above everything else, terrified me more than the vicious red eyed vampires and the thought of my own demise.

After establishing that all of my friends were safe, Paul took me home, he held me in the back of the cruiser as Charlie drove us to the reservation. The ride was silent and filled with unspoken warning passed between Charlie and Paul, but all I could think about was how I could have lost the one thing that anchored me, how the future was so unpredictable.

I'd never thought about my mortality before, but being in the middle of all of that mess had lit up the reality like a neon sign. No one person was safe from the harbinger of death. Even vampires, the immortal creatures Paul had described, had met an end. When the death toll rang, there was no escaping, and I knew I couldn't put my life on hold anymore.

I loved Paul, I would always love him, so what was the pointing of slowing things down when life was unfairly short?

The moment we were alone in his home, he stripped me of my clothes and guided me to the shower, his eyes respectfully on mine as he set us both under the spray. He cleaned me of the mess we'd both witnessed with a reverence, his hands moving over my skin.

When we were finally curled up in bed and tangled around one another he whispered words of reassurance, words that sealed that he was mine forever. I knew intrinsically he would always protect me, even if it meant putting my life before his.

He kissed me as though to solidify his words, our naked bodies were pressed against one another so tightly it was hard to know where I ended and he began. He was trying to be respectful, and when he pulled away all I could feel was rejection. It was irrational, and somewhere in my mind I registered that, but it didn't stop the words spilling from my lips.

I finally convinced him that I was thinking clearly and he went to work, worshipping my body with his hands and mouth before settling between my thighs. He felt so good against me, if I'd thought he was my other half before, connecting like this only seemed to make that all the more profound. We fit together, and the rapture was like nothing I'd ever felt before. Even when he bit into my flesh it send static dancing over my skin and exploded somewhere in my body.

I saw stars, it was like heaven and earth colliding in the small room with us. The first time certainly wasn't the last time, and the more I moved with him, the more I connected on that basic animalistic nature; the more I fell in love with him.

I knew he was all I ever wanted, he was all I would ever need. He was my life, my reason for taking each breath, and my heart emphatically belonged to him alone.

He let out a sigh next to me, pulling me out of the memories I was more than willing to get lost in. He was still deep asleep. He looked so much younger in his peaceful repose, and even as I ran my fingers down his prominent jaw, the only response I received was a small smile spreading across his lips.

Paul was always handsome, but like this, he looked breathtaking.

As I watched him sleep, my stomach growled impatiently, and I realized I hadn't eaten in almost two days. The last meal I'd had was with Charlie, Billy, Jacob and Paul almost thirty-eight hours ago. I needed something to eat, and I figured I may as well make my man something as well. Nothing said I love you like a trough of breakfast for a wolf.

I climbed out of the bed and pulled on the shirt of his I'd been wearing the morning before tip toeing out of the room and into the kitchen. When I opened the fridge I was less than surprised to see the sparse contents. Soda and a jar of pickles wasn't going to measure up to the breakfast I'd planned on making him.

I had two choices, wait until he woke up which would ruin the surprise, or pop out and grab a couple of things and be back before he woke up.

Tapping my fingernails against the fridge I pushed the door closed, and made my decision. Popping out it was.

I dressed quickly and brushed my teeth, and I couldn't resist dropping a kiss on his full, swollen lips before making my exit. I slipped out of the house and made my way to Billy's where Sam and Jacob were sat on the porch steps, deep in conversation.

Jacob was the first to notice me, his eyes were filled with relief as he stood up and wrapped his arms around me in a hug. I patted him on the back and laughed at his enthusiasm.

"Good morning to you as well," I laughed, pulling away from him.

"How are you? Can I get you anything?"

"I'm fine, I just needed to process everything. I need to run to the store real quick though, is my dad still inside?"

"Yeah, he's eating breakfast, let me go get him for you."

As Jacob disappeared into the house, I took a seat next to Sam on the porch steps and offered him a smile. He returned it with ease, and relaxed a little.

"Sorry I freaked out," I whispered quietly. "Finding out and being attacked all in the space of a day was a little too much for me. How's Leah doing?"

"She's almost fully healed, it's all part of the package," he replied, his hands clasping in front of him. "Bella, I wanted to talk to you about something. It's the same speech I give all of the imprints, because I think it's important for you to know."

"Okay," I answered, my curiosity piqued.

"You're important. All of the imprints are important, but Paul has always been so . . ."

"Volatile?" I asked, wondering whether the word was the one he was looking for. Paul knew he was a pain in the ass at times, he admitted as much, so this wasn't exactly news to me.

"Yes, after his childhood he's always been quick to snap and he's always the first into a fight. Last night, it was almost hard to read his thoughts when he found you like that. He's opened himself up to you, as most imprints do. That's a good thing, but I need you to look after yourself. When a wolf imprints, their mate becomes an extension of them because of the depth of the bond. If he were to lose you, he would lose his mind, and there's a chance he would follow suit. Without our imprints, our lives are meaningless. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

My heart lurched in my chest, the ache there was considerable. If I were to die, it would seal Paul's fate. He couldn't live without me, just as I knew I would never be able to live without him.

"I die, he shares the same fate. It works both ways doesn't it?"

"Yes, but when children are involved you would be more likely to survive, simply to protect them."

I blew the air out of my lungs and hung my head as once again my mortality ran through my head. I knew we were connected, that we were bound by our very cores, but this was heartbreaking.

"Don't get freaked out by it. Just look after yourself, I want to talk to Charlie about moving the two of you down here indefinitely. Would you be willing to consider that? We have a pretty house down by the beach that the counsel will be happy for your dad and you to share."

"You'd have to speak to Charlie, but seeing as we both spend more time down here than at home I couldn't see it being a problem."

The thought of being closer to Paul at all times didn't hurt either. I just couldn't make that decision for my dad. I doubted there was much left of my room considering the melee that had taken place in there.

"I'll talk to him tonight. I hope you don't mind me asking, but where are you headed?"

"I want to get my truck and some groceries. I shouldn't be long, and you don't have to worry about me being at the house too long, I really don't want to be there."

Sam nodded and let his hand fall on my shoulder. "Be safe, and vigilant. There's another one out there somewhere. I have patrols around Forks waiting for her to show up, but it's still not safe."

"I'll be quick."

Sam nodded, but didn't look appeased. I knew he didn't like that I was going out there alone, but me not being a member of their pack meant he couldn't do much more. Though I imagined I could have a wolf following me.

Charlie appeared from inside the house looking exhausted. I may have slept a peaceful and dreamless sleep, but I could see that wasn't the case for him. When I relayed my plan to him, he was less happy than Sam about the whole thing.

The drive to the house was shrouded in a silence that was neither comfortable nor companionable. I could tell he had things on his mind, but as always, Charlie kept them to himself mulling over them much the same way I did.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "If I hadn't become friends with Edward this never would have happened."

"What? No. Bells it was nothing to do with you. The Cullen's said that the vampires were passing through, they were trying to keep them away from the town but the one Paul dealt with found a scent he liked, and when the Cullen's intervened it set him off. They called him a tracker. Apparently the hunt was his favorite part, being told no only fueled his need for satisfaction all the more."

"I still feel responsible. If I'd stayed at school and gone straight to Paul's, this never would have happened."

"Bells, honey, you were in your home. Our home. You did nothing wrong."

I nodded, but it didn't take the feeling of responsibility from me. So much was weighed in the balance, my life was interwoven with the man I loved and my father was in danger because I'd somehow attracted the undead.

Just as my life started to make sense, there was more imbalance thrown in to set me over the edge again. I tried to focus on the feeling of complete peace I'd woken up to this morning, but I found myself weighed down with all this new information. I wanted to just drive straight back to the Reservation and crawl back into bed with Paul, but I was already pulling up to the house.

I said goodbye to Charlie and drove from our house without so much as glancing at it. It was no longer the stronghold of solace it had been. Now, it was a place of death and fear, and I knew Charlie saw that. It had been a part of his family for so long, but it had gone from a rich history to a shell filled with nightmares in one night.

When I pulled up at the grocery store, I was beginning to feel more and more anxiety at being so far away from Paul. I still went in, and I still filled the cart with as much breakfast food as I could. I focused on seeing his face as he woke up to his little home filled with the aromas of all his favorite foods.

When I loaded it all in the passenger seat of the truck and took off, I felt even more anxious than I had to begin with, but I realized something was terribly wrong too late.

The slam in the bed of the truck as I drove toward the reservation made me scream and the truck veered to the shoulder as I slammed on the breaks. I hit my head on the steering wheel, but the adrenaline running through my body barely gave me time to register it. I'd seen the fire red hair in the rear view, and though it was gone now, I knew what it meant.

It was the vampire Leah had fought. The one that got away.

"Knock, knock," a child like peal said from the drivers window, and as I turned my head to look at her a cracking pain ran down my spine and filled my head with darkness.

I woke to the smell of the forest and a damp, musty, earthy smell surrounding me. I was conscious of the dripping somewhere around me, but it was the only sound, and it echoed around me, reverberating from the darkness.

There was a point of light in the vast darkness, but it was so small I knew it had to be at least several hundred feet away, and with my track record there would have to be a lot of obstacles that would be hazardous to me on the way out. Still, I couldn't stay here and wait for whatever the hell had taken me to come back. I had to make a bid for freedom, I had to keep myself alive for Paul.

I pushed up onto my feet, my arms outstretched looking for a wall, a rock, anything to gain some sense of direction. I span in circles before I stumbled toward the light, my feet sliding ahead of me looking for perilous drops or rocks that would be more than happy to trip me.

I'd barely managed three feet when I heard movement.

"Run," the voice teased. Her voice moved around me as though she was circling me. "It would make it so much more fun if you fought back."

"W-who are you?"

I heard the cackle of her laughter circle me and it reverberated off the walls I couldn't seem to find. The darkness was everywhere but that one spot ahead of me.

"Let's just say I'm the eye for the eye. The tooth for the tooth. I'm the avenging angel of death looking for a little retribution."

I shuddered as something moved my hair over my shoulder. She was so fast I hadn't felt the contact, only the result of it. I stumbled forward again but something hit my back and forced me face forward to the jagged floor under my feet. My face hit something hard, and the disorientating darkness made everything around me vibrate. It was only a second before I felt the warm trickle of blood that was accompanied by the rusty smell of blood that made my empty stomach roll.

Something touched the spot briefly and I could hear a gentle moaning from above me.

"You taste so good human. It's a shame I need you alive to play bait, maybe when I kill the mutt you love so much, I can drain you."

"Fuck you."

"I don't swing that way precious," she giggled. I felt something cut into the skin of my arm and I stifled the following scream, determined not to give her the satisfaction.

The sharp edge dug into the skin of my arms again and again until the smell of my own blood made me light headed. I didn't scream once. I was determined to stay strong. I was Paul's imprint, he was a warrior, I would make him proud and I would keep myself alive no matter how bad the pain was.

"Call your wolf, and I will stop this."

"You think I can call him through thought?" I panted, trying to stop my voice from wavering. "That's not how it works."

The vampire patted me down, her hands dipping into my pockets. I wasn't sure what she was hoping to find, but I imagined my wallet was still in the glove box of my truck where I'd left it.

"Don't you humans carry phones?"

"Mine's broken, I have to get a new one."

My body was flipped over, but even with my eyes adjusting I saw nothing, I felt my shirt rise and the sharp point drag along the skin just above my belly button. I couldn't stop the scream this time. She cut deep and the pain seemed to work through my body like wildfire.

"Where is it!"

"I don't have it," I cried out, my voice betraying me. Pain laced every syllable.

"You're pathetic. I should just kill you now. Mate for a mate, quite justified if you ask me."

Mate? Was one of the vampires killed last night her mate? I felt horrible for her, if vampires were anything like wolves and their imprints, I could only imagine the pain she was in. I longed for Paul to come to me, to save me from this so we could move on with our lives, but it was a double edged sword, if he came, she would kill us both.

With each slash on my skin she seemed to drag me over the jagged rock toward the pin of light. It grew bigger with every shifting movement. She'd said I was the bait. I imagined that she believed spilling my blood would attract something out there in the wild, and maybe she was right. I just wasn't sure whether it was the right thing.

I stayed silent as she went back to cutting at the flesh of my stomach, the smell of the blood made me lightheaded and I was losing too much. As a strong waft of blood tainted air filled my nose, I let the darkness take me, and hoped that when I woke up, this nightmare would be over and I'd be back in Paul's arms.

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><p><strong>Nostalgicmiss:<strong> Poor Bella, she's getting carved up like Thanksgiving dinner while fighting to stay alive for Paul. Can you imagine knowing that your life is so tied to another person that you staying alive was the only guarantee they would survive? Harrowing thought, but it seems as though Bella has a fight on her hands and it's one she's willing to participate in. Thank you all for reading, alerting, adding us to your favorites and the reviews. You guys are seriously amazing and I love reading what you have to say! Thank you so much for all of your support! Sabi, my twinnifer, and BFF, I love you much, and I am so blessed to have you in my life and honored that you're willing to write me, as well as share your genius! You're an amazing friend and a Fabulous person, and I am thankful every day to have you in my life!

**Sabi'sSookie:** Poor Bella is right! She is getting all mangled, but we all know that Paul is on his way! Sexy wolf to the rescue! I know you are all ready to freak out about right now! And yes, we totally left it like that because we are evil! LOL! Thanks so much for all the love you give us by way of alerts, favorites, and reviews! Weezy is right! We love hearing what you guys think! And as for my lack of review replies… we are in the process of moving, and I haven't had much time, but I hope that once we are all moved I can get back on track! And for my Running Home readers… a new chapter is coming. See moving excuse ;) Weezy, you are just the most amazing bestie a girl could have and writing with you and being your BFF has been the most awesome experience! I love you to bits and am so blessed to have you in my life!


	20. Chapter 20 Paul

**All recognizable names are the property of Stephenie Meyer. We just like playing dress up in her shoes.**

**This story is not suitable for those under the age of 18. It is rated M, so if you're not old enough to buy a pack of smokes… we don't wanna know!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 11 Paul<br>**

_Too much is not enough  
>Nobody gave it up<br>Im not the kind  
>To lay down and die<em>  
><strong>Adrenaline by Gavin Rossdale<strong>

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><p>We all ran as one unit, wolves and vampires. Every few moments, Alice would get lost in a vision. Edward would fucking cringe, letting me know that it wasn't good.<p>

"She's still alive," he reassured me, but wouldn't say anymore.

Alice used her visions as a map to guide us to where the vindictive bitch had my mate. In my mind, I worked with the pack, as well as Edward to come up with a plan. We all knew that we couldn't let the cunt get away again. Fourteen supernatural beings surrounded the area where we knew them to be. The doc was on standby, as we could all smell Bella's blood on the air. Her heart thumped weakly in her chest.

"Wow, seems like the whole cavalry came out. Frankly I don't get it." The redhead cooed from a perch high up in the trees. "But, she doesn't have long. And I may have injected her with just a touch of venom."

The roar that erupted from my chest shook the trees.

"Ah, I wouldn't waste time growling at me. You only have moments before the venom goes to far."

"_I'll fucking suck it out myself!"_ I bellowed in my mind.

"_You can't! It would kill you!" _Sam's response was quick and laced with an alpha order. The redheaded bitch took off, her cackle of laughter floating on the breeze.

"I'll do it," Edward assured me and turned to the doc for instruction. I was torn between staying with my angel and joining the chase. I knew there was no chance she would get past _everyone_, and incase my angel didn't… _no, I won't fucking think about that._

"_Catch her and bring her to me!_" I ordered and all of the pack agreed.

I shifted to human form and hit my knees next to my broken angel. Her leg was twisted at an impossible angle and she was even more pale than normal. Blood oozed from her mouth and from several open wounds over her naked body. The fucking leech had stripped her bare and tortured her.

"Oh, baby, what the fuck did she do to you?" I asked, ignoring the fact that a leech was getting ready to put his mouth on her.

"Paul," she whimpered, "it burns."

"I know, angel, you're so fucking strong. I'm so proud of you. Just hang in there. Edward and the doc are going to fix it. You just hang in there, baby."

"Paul, I love you." Her voice was strained and she spoke through clenched teeth. I could hear the sound of his fucking teeth slicing through the skin where the bitch had made her mark. She winced, but I could see the difference of her facial expression as he pulled the venom from her body.

"_Cullen, you better not fucking kill her, and if for some reason she changes… you better fucking take care of her._" His eyes blinked rapidly as he reacted to my thoughts. I saw a moment's hesitation in his eyes. I knew he was thinking about what it would be like to let her change. A groan from Bella brought me back to her.

"I love you, so fucking much, angel. I should have told you before…" Her eyes rolled back in her head and had it not been for the sound of her heart beating I would have lost my shit.

"Edward, her blood is clean. Let go, son." Edward's eyes were black as night and pained.

"Let go, before I remove you myself," I growled. He released her and immediately clenched his teeth together.

"If you want to stay near her you better regain control, quick." He closed his eyes and nodded while I focused all my attention on the beautiful, broken girl before me.

"Paul, they're coming with her," Edward warned and I immediately snapped my head in the direction of her screeching.

"You don't fucking let her out of your sight! Get her to the fucking hospital and you stay _right with her_. Your dad's a doc, make it work. Jasper," I turned to him, "those scars you wear tell me you're a warrior. I need that girl, you understand me? If he looks like he may lose control, I am trusting you to keep her safe."

"I won't lose control. I love her too, you know." Edward was sincere and he had fucking saved her from becoming one of them, but he was still a threat in more ways than one.

"I will guard her with my life. Or I could take care of the bitch and you could go with ya' girl." I had no doubt that Jasper could take her out, but it was something I needed to do. Bella was my mate and I owed it to her. I hadn't protected her the way I should have and I had to see with my own eyes that the cunt would never be back for my girl.

I just shook my head and kissed Bella as gently as possible and with another "I love you" from me, they were on their way.

I turned back in the direction of the hissing that was coming from the female vampire. The blonde Cullen female had her by the hair, whispering in her ear about the value of human life and how if I didn't make her pay that she would. I wasn't sure why the Barbie Cullen was so concerned, but I was grateful. They were all right… for leeches.

"But he killed my mate! My James! What do I care if I die? I only wanted to make him suffer before my life was over!"

"So, then you understand why I feel the need to take my revenge. Nothing compares to the love of a mate, does it?" I taunted. But in truth, as much as I hated her, I couldn't help but understand her. I had killed her reason for existing. Had the shoe been on the other foot, I would have done the same. But she still had to die or she would never stop. I remembered my angel's blood that spilled all over the earth and all understanding went out the window.

Blondie threw her at me and I shifted, meeting her midair, my jaws around her throat. She deserved a long, drawn out death, but my angel was laid up in some hospital bed and I needed to be with her. I wrenched her head from her body and flung it into the fire that Barbie's mate had built. In my mind, I could hear the pack attempting to speak to me, but the only thing on my mind was getting to my girl.

Charlie's tear-stained face met me at the back entrance of the hospital with a pair of scrubs. I would have walked in the fucking hospital buck-ass-naked, but that probably would have caused a scene.

"She's in surgery. Carlisle said that she should make it. They're giving her blood and repairing a few internal injuries." Charlie took a deep, shaky breath. "What the fuck happened, son?"

So I told him everything. I told him how I woke up to find her gone, then found her abandoned truck, and eventually what the leech had done to his baby girl.

"She dead?" He asked gruffly and I nodded. "Good. You were the one to kill the bitch weren't ya'?"

"Yeah. Put her in the fire myself."

We waited for hours. The pack and their imprints, as well as a few council members, and all the Cullens. Edward had been allowed to observe the surgery and the Doc's insistence. It was the hardest thing I had ever done; sitting there while the love of my life, my reason for living, was fighting for her life with only leeches standing between her and death. Every couple of minutes I stood and paced, then tried to sit. It was as if my body didn't know what to do with itself. And my mind had all but shut the fuck off. I think I overloaded it.

When Carlisle came in and told us that she was out of surgery and going to be fine Charlie surprised me by wrapping me up in a very um-manly display of affection. He hugged me tighter than I though possible before Carlisle led us to her room.

"My wife and daughters cleaned her up. She's going to be asleep for a while so her body can heal, but you can go on in." I nodded and Charlie thanked him. Edward was seated in the chair beside her bed, holding her hand. Respectfully he stood and backed away. I still hated him, but I was grateful for the fucker so I couldn't just kick him out.

Cleaned up, she still looked like she had been mauled by a fucking vindictive vampire. Her usually lustrous hair was limp and stuck together in some places. Her face was sallow and covered in bruises and bandages. I remembered the jagged gash that curved around her left eye and into her hairline. My eyes could see the white of the bone, the bitch had sliced her so deep. I am not ashamed to say that I had been fucking terrified until the Doc told us she was going to be fine. Afterwards, I was still terrified, but for different fucking reasons.

_What if she blames me and fucking hates me? _

It was my fault, after all.

"Thanks for what you did for my little girl," Charlie said and held out his hand for Edward to shake. "But, I think you should know that she belongs to this man right here, so don't get your hopes up."

I smirked and Edward even had to smile a little.

Late into the evening, Charlie had passed out in one of the recliners Alice brought in, leaving Edward and I to sit in uncomfortable silence.

"Are you really in love with her?" I finally asked, unable to take it anymore.

"Yes. I am under no illusions that she will choose me, but I have to try. I have been alone for so long in a house full of mated couples, and for the first time, I have met someone I care for."

"How old are you, anyway?"

"Over a hundred years old," he answered sadly. I felt bad for the fucker. Dammit.

"Look, I'm sure it sucks, being alone so long, but she's my everything. I'm thankful that you saved her, but I'm not a gracious loser. If she chose you, I would never let you live. I don't have a self-sacrificing bone in my body, especially when it comes to letting her go. But don't take it personally, I would kill any mother fucker that tried to take her from me." He nodded in understanding, a small smile gracing his lips.

"I don't blame you. She is definitely one of a kind. And you are a lucky man." My spirits slightly lifted. He could read her mind! Maybe he had seen that she would choose me!

"Sorry, Paul. Hers is the only mind I cannot read. She is blank to me."

"Fuck," I whispered, returning to my thoughts of a life without her.

"She's yours, Paul. You have to know that. You only have to see the way she looks at you. She wasn't calling my name. She wasn't telling _me_ she loved _me_." Sure, to a rational, secure person his words would have made perfect sense, but in my twisted, scared mind, I was that little boy that no one loved. I deserved no one, and allowing Bella to get in this shape just proved that.

"Don't make me say it again. It tastes like bile on my tongue. She's yours." Edward's nose wrinkled in distaste.

"She hasn't chosen me yet. She did take off after we spent a night together." I shrugged and Edward fought to hold in his laughter.

"Aw, you worried your sexual prowess wasn't enough for her?" He teased.

"I don't want to hear either of you mention my daughter and sex in the same conversation ever again," Charlie growled under his breath making us both burst into laughter.

"Paul?" Bella's small voice rang through the room, causing all of us to freeze. When I looked into her eyes I knew… If she wanted Edward; if that was what would make her happy, I would step down. I would give her anything she wanted.

"Hey, angel," I cooed and gently kissed her lips, praying that it wouldn't be the last time.

"What happened? Is she dead?" She tried to sit up but I gently pushed her back down.

"She's gone, baby. Everything is going to be fine," I assured her. She was so fucking beautiful, I could hardly stand it. Why would she ever choose someone like me?

"I felt like I was on fire. She bit me, and it felt like my blood turned to lava."

"That's our venom. You were changing into one of us," Edward said softly.

Her eyes went wide and she looked like she was going to panic.

"It's okay, baby, Edward sucked out the venom so you wouldn't change. You're still you."

"Thank you," she whispered to Edward with tears in her eyes.

"You are more than welcome." I could see the sadness in his eyes at the loss of forever with her.

Charlie cleared his throat and said that he was going to get a cup of coffee and asked Edward to join him.

"Bells, I am so glad that you're okay, but from now on, I don't want you ever going anywhere alone… ever again. I love you, baby girl." He kissed her forehead and indicated for Edward to follow him, which he did.

"I'm so sorry, angel. If I had been more alert, I wouldn't have let you leave. She never would have gotten to you." I laid my forehead on her hand. I was sure that my shame and guilt was oozing out of my pores, showing just what a failure I was. A failure as a man and as a protector. But most of all, a failure to Bella in every way possible.

"Paul, it happened, and it's not your fault. I went out to get food because I wanted to surprise you with breakfast." Her breathing became a little labored and I stood up and attempted to make her more comfortable.

"Stay still, angel! You're gonna' be okay, but that bitch banged you up pretty bad. Let me take care of you." She nodded and smiled sweetly at me. I would give anything for her to fucking let me take care of her forever.

"And just how are you going to take care of me?" She tried to raise an eyebrow but winced when the bandage pulled at the skin.

"That feels like it looks bad." Bella looked up at me with a question in her eyes.

"You'll have a scar, but you're still the most fucking beautiful thing I've ever seen." I wanted her to know that the scars she now wore meant nothing to me, other than showing how fucking strong she was.

_If only she'll stay with me. Please, angel, please don't leave me._

"And as soon as the doc clears you, I plan on taking care of you… a lot. For now, I just have to make sure you take it easy so that you can heal." I looked at her for a long moment. "I was so fucking scared, Bella. First that you would die and second that you would turn into one of them. But I still would have fucking loved you even if you had turned. I'd have to breathe through my mouth for the rest of eternity because vampires smell like shit, but I would have done it to be with you."

"So, what you're trying to say is that you might love me a little bit?" She asked softly, not meeting my eyes. Hope bloomed in my chest that we might just be okay.

"No, I fucking love you a lot! You're everything, angel!" I wasn't going to waste another second not telling her just how much she meant to me. "But damn, you sure do seem to be a magnet for trouble, don't you?"

"It would appear that way. Now say it again, please?" I kissed her lips sweetly and complied.

"I love you, I love you, I love you." I would say it every second of every day until my voice was gone from saying it too fucking much.

"I love you too, Paul. So much. You were all I thought about. I just knew I had to be strong for you. You are so damn strong, and I wanted to be worthy of you."

She wanted to be worthy of me? She wanted to make me proud? I couldn't resist and kissed her, licking her plump bottom lip. No one had ever said anything like that about me before. After everything that had happened to her because of me, she loved me. The insecurities still made themselves known in my mind, but in that moment I only wanted to bask in her words and nothing else.

"Aw, did Paul's vagina finally come in?" Fucking Embry. Bella giggled against my lips as I growled at him.

"Well," Bella began, "if by that do you mean did he _get_ some vagina? Then, yes, he did. Sadly it's looking like he may not get it again for a little while, but..."

"Okay, enough of that!" I covered her mouth with my hand and she licked me playfully.

"Good one, Bells, but really, my virgin ears don't need to hear that." Jake covered his ears dramatically making everyone burst into laughter.

Everyone got quiet when Leah walked into the room, followed by some tall, lanky guy with glasses.

"Leah!" Bella squeaked, still unsure how to act around her. I mean, it's not like she could be pissed at the girl who saved her life. "How are you feeling?"

"Better than I think I ever have, thanks," Leah said as the guy next to her kissed her hand sweetly.

"Look, Bella, I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. I was being a bitter bitch, but after I imprinted on Graham I understood. I'm just sorry that I didn't see it before I hurt you."

"Graham?" I mouthed at Bella who shot me a look, telling me to behave. He looked a little emo, but I suppose that was fitting for Leah. It was nice to see her with a real smile on her face, but I was still pissed at her. I just wasn't quite as forgiving as my mate.

We all talked for a while longer until the Cullens all walked through the door. Even though we were allies, tensions were still sort of high. All of us being mortal enemies and all… plus the stench. Edward lingered at the door, his eyes on my hand that was joined with Bella's.

_Poor son-of-a-bitch._

"I need to talk to Edward. Alone," Bella whispered in my ear, but everyone heard her and made themselves scarce. I didn't like it, but I had promised that I would deny her nothing. Plus, I would just stay within hearing range and step in if I thought things were going too far.

"Paul, why don't you go and get something to eat?" The look she was giving me told me that it was not a request, but a demand. She knew me too fucking well. Charlie coughed from the doorway and after giving her a searing kiss I followed him down to the cafeteria.

"Did you hear me, son?"

"Huh? No. I was straining to see if I could still hear them." He rolled his eyes and chuckled.

"I said that the council has offered us a house on the Res. The guys are leaving here to move our stuff so that Bella doesn't have to go back to the house. It got pretty messed up the other night anyway."

All I could think was that Bella would be within a five minute walk of me at any time.

"Now, I know you're going to be spending a lot of time with Bella, and I'm not naïve enough to think that there won't be _sex_" he spat the word and I laughed, "but you ain't doing it in my house, clear? Not even when she's married do I want to even have to _think_ of her having sex in the same building as me." He shuddered making me laugh even louder.

"I do plan to… marry her. One of these days I'll talk her into it." Charlie just nodded his acceptance.

I inhaled the shitty hospital food and once I was done with that I began pacing. It had been 30 minutes and Bella still hadn't sent for me yet. Hundreds of scenarios raced through my mind of what could happen. A mental picture of them kissing caused me to crack the table I had been leaning on.

"Calm down, kid. She's probably just telling him thank you. You're going to have to have more faith in her if you want this to work between you two."

I knew Charlie was right, but I was ready to rip my hair out wondering if she changed her mind. Edward may have been a leech, but he wasn't scarred inside and out, and he was much more charming. Let's face it, I cussed like a trucker and had all the charm of an ornery alligator. I wasn't dumb, but school had never been a priority for me. I was poor, and had nothing to fucking offer her. Not to mention I was bound to the Res for the rest of my life.

"Bella wants to see you." Edward's voice broke me from my trance. I searched hiss face for any sign of happiness or gloating, but couldn't see any. His face showed no emotion at all. Maybe he was just being a gentleman. I wouldn't know, never having been one myself.

I knocked over a doctor and two janitors in my rush to get to her, but I could have cared less.

"Bella," I breathed out, noting the tears that she tried to wipe away.

"Baby, what's wrong?" I rushed to her side and quickly wiped her cheeks.

"Nothing, I just hate hurting people." My entire body stiffened. So that was it. She was going to tell me that she chose him. That she loves me but he's better for her.

"Then don't!" I said a little louder than I had intended to and I quickly calmed myself but Bella must have realized my panic.

"Paul! I don't mean you, you big dope! I hated that I had to hurt _Edward_!" She actually fucking chuckled at my mini freak out session. Relief flooded my body. She chose me. ME! Yeah, so I may have gloated in my head a little. I told you I was no gentleman.

"You're insane if you think I could ever choose anyone over you! Now come over here and kiss me."

"Don't have to tell me twice!" I grabbed her face, being careful of her wounds and kissed her with every ounce of love I possessed.

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><p><strong>Sabi'sSookie:<strong> So, how 'bout them apples? I know there will be mixed feelings about Bella being sad about hurting Edward. My sparkle-peen-haters will be happy that he's gone and think Bella's stupid for caring, but let's remember that she sees him as her friend and he helped to save her life! And poor Paul… as if she would choose anyone over him! Silly, sexy, wolf-man! Anywho, I want to thank everyone for all the love by way of alerts, favorites, and reviews! Moving has been a hassle and is still ongoing, but I was determined to get this out today! You guys are so lucky they got my internet hooked up so quickly ;) And to Weezy, by BFF and PIC… I love you, girlie! And as busy as I've been I have still missed being able to chat freely with you! You are the best and I am so glad that you are my Twinnifer! Love ya'!

**Nostalgicmiss: **Paul! Why on earth would she choose Cullen when she has you! I guess it just proves that his self-loathing is deep seeded. Still at least Bella finally set him straight and they actually communicated! Thanks to all of you that read, favorite, alert and review. You're all so amazing and your thoughts continue to crack me up! You're all awesome! I'm on deadline this week so the RR's may be a little slow in coming but I will get there I promise! Sabi, I am so glad you have internet again! I missed you! As always it's an honor and a pleasure being your friend and I feel the same way about writing with you! You're awesome and you're my BFF and twinnifer and I love ya! Now I gotta dash... stupid deadline! MWAH!


	21. Chapter 21 Bella

**All recognizable names are the property of Stephenie Meyer. We just like playing dress up in her shoes.**

**This story is not suitable for those under the age of 18. It is rated M, so if you're not old enough to buy a pack of smokes… we don't wanna know!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 11 Bella<strong>

_Desperate for words, lost in a maze,  
>It fell apart, I lost my place,<br>It hurt so bad, I cried for days  
>Time healed all pain, now I'm okay<br>**Quicksand by Natalie Walker**_

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><p>I hurt everywhere. My body felt as though it had been dragged through hell, hung out to dry, and then restarted the cycle. I didn't think a bulldozer could have more damage to me. The scariest part was the burning had hurt more than all of it. It seared through my veins like molten lava. Had I not forced my eyes open to see Paul, I would have believed that I was on fire.<p>

On the soft surface of the hospital bed, being pumped full of painkillers, it was hard to remember how brutally beaten I had been. When I had opened my eyes and found Paul's worried eyes watching over me I almost cried with joy. My objective had been to survive, if not for myself, then for him, and I was starting to believe it was the only thing that had kept me going.

When I finally had him alone, he apologized and blamed himself for what had happened. It had never been his fault, and if I'd had the courage to tell him I would have relayed the conversation I'd had with Sam that morning. He'd been uncomfortable with me leaving, yet I did it anyway. If it was anyone's fault, it was mine.

I was alarmed that the bite given to me by Victoria could have changed me into a vampire. When Edward had explained that the fire had been my body changing into one of them, I wasn't sure I knew how to deal with that. The machine keeping track of my heart rate had started going nuts as I let the thought run through my mind. It wasn't until Paul reassured me that I was still human that I was able to calm down again. It was never the thought of being a vampire that had freaked me out, which was disturbing in its own right, it was more that if I were, I would be Paul's natural enemy, and I wasn't sure where that would leave us.

Being in the grip of death, I'd been certain about one thing, and that was the consummate knowledge that I loved Paul with everything I was. I had promised myself that if I made it through the pain and torture that I wouldn't waste another second with him. That I would grip our life together with both hands and go full throttle and never look back. He was my reason for being, he and I balanced one another out.

Of course, Paul's declaration of love had been delivered in the way only Paul could deliver it. It was lost among his usual ramblings of pent up emotions that he spat out so quickly had I have blinked I would have missed. He was more than happy to say it again though, and I indulged myself in the words. I let them wrap around me.

Our time together was cut short by the appearance of the pack, and Leah's imprint Graham. I didn't mind, though, all of them were my extended family and just having them surrounding me like that made realize how loved I was. Each and every one of them had their places in my life, and I finally felt like I had the big family I'd always wanted.

It wasn't until the Cullen's showed up that I realized I had a piece of unfinished business to address.

Edward.

"I need to talk to Edward. Alone," I whispered to Paul, completely forgetting that almost everyone in my room had extrasensory hearing.

They all dispersed quietly with waves and hugs, and wet kisses on the forehead. The Cullen's gave me shy goodbyes and exited the room along with my family, offering Edward pats on the shoulder as they left. Paul was the only one that didn't move.

"Paul, why don't you go and get something to eat?" I said, giving him a look that left no argument. I knew if he stayed close I would have no privacy. As they had all proven, their hearing was more than able to extend down a corridor from the waiting room.

He stared at my eyes trying to read me, begging me to understand that he loved me, but it was a moot point. I knew he loved me, and he should have known that I loved him, that he would always be my only choice. He leaned in close and pressed his lips against mine with a quiet desperation. My heart monitor sang out in the quiet room as I held the front of the scrubs he was wearing and pulling him closer.

With a smile of satisfaction, he met Charlie at the door, and headed out, leaving me alone with Edward.

Edward made his way to my bed and lowered himself into the chair gracefully, but his dark eyes were unnerving with the hint of red around the edges, especially in comparison to the almost amber they had been when I'd met him.

"Your eyes?"

"I had to ingest some of your blood in order to clean out the venom. When we feed from human blood are eyes will change to red. I didn't take much from you so there's only a hint of it. it should go away when I feed again."

"Feed?" I asked, raising an eyebrow in question.

"We get our blood from animals which is why our eyes are . . . the way they are."

"Are any of the myths true? You know Garlic? Crucifix? Daylight? Turning into bats?"

"All fabrications made up by us and injected into the modern culture to throw you off the scent," he laughed, rubbing his neck awkwardly.

"Well that makes sense, it's quite ingenious actually."

I looked down at the blankets that were covering my legs. The huge lump on the one side signifying the cast that held my broken leg within it. There was so much I wanted to say to him, but it was difficult. When I'd struck up my friendship with him it had never occurred to me that he'd wanted something more. He'd caught me in a weak moment when I needed a friend, and that would all I ever saw him as.

"Oh shit," I moaned, slamming my hand against my forehead and instantly regretting it.

"What? Are you in pain, should I get Carlisle?" Edward asked, his hands fluttering around me elegantly like a butterfly.

"No, I just . . . I forgot you can read minds," I sighed, rubbing the spot I had slapped. "There was a way to talk about this, and I ruined it by thinking . . ."

"I can't hear your thoughts," Edward chuckled, interceding. "Everyone else in the world I can hear, but with you . . . nothing but silence."

"Really?"

He inclined his head, giving away his age. He looked like a gentleman from a Jane Austen novel when he did that. Looking at him more intensely, I figured he would have made a good Mr. Darcy.

"Yes. It's frustrating sometimes. Like right now, I want to know what you're thinking, because your head is tipped to the side and your eyes look far away."

I could feel the heat rise on my cheeks.

"Now I'm even more intrigued," he mused, leaning forward. "You blush a lot."

"I'll never tell."

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" He raised his hand and ran the back of it down my cheek, his expression sad. I closed my eyes to stop from seeing the pain that resided there. As I bowed my head, he removed his hand and sighed.

"You're saying goodbye," he whispered.

"I have to," I said swallowing. Opening my eyes I turned to look at him. I owed him that much. "I'm in love with Paul, nothing will ever change that. Being friends with you will just hurt him because he'll second guess everything. As much as I like talking to you, he's my life, I can't do that to him."

"It could have been beautiful," he murmured. "I saw it through Alice's eyes. We would have been so right for one another. Then I saw you, and I didn't need a precognitive vision to tell me, but I knew I was too late, your soul was already bound to someone else. I had to try, you understand that don't you?"

I nodded, my throat was so thick I couldn't have forced the words out. My cheeks stung as the tears slid down them, but I deserved that for doing what I'd done. I'd been the one to reach out to him, I'd been the one that had initiated the friendship, and now I'd hurt him.

Edward got up from he seat and leaned over me, pressing his cool lips against my forehead. He lingered there for a second before disappearing from the room and leaving me with the guilt that broke the sob.

I cried, the melting pot of emotions was too much for me to take. I felt guilty about what I'd done to Edward, guilty about feeling so sad about saying goodbye because I knew it would hurt Paul. I felt guilty about the inkling of happiness that fluttered behind my chest.

Edward had seen a life where the two of us had been together, I didn't have that vision. The only thing I saw when I looked to the future was Paul, he and I together and happy with a swarm of kids that used his tall stature as a climbing frame. I'd never thought about kids before, I'd never even considered getting married; but the moment I met Paul it had all unfolded in front of me, and I wanted it.

"Bella," Paul's voice broke through my misery and forced me to wipe the tears from my eyes. I didn't want him to see me like this. "Baby, what's wrong?"

He was beside me in a second, and my body eased into the state of bliss it always seemed to in his presence. He cupped my cheeks and wiped away the last of the tears with his warm thumbs.

"Nothing," I sniffed, hating that whatever pain meds they had me on were finally starting to drag me under. "I just hate hurting people."

"Then don't!" he practically shouted, before he regained control. He thought this was my goodbye to him. He thought I had chosen Edward. This was the very reason I could never be friends with Edward.

"Paul! I don't mean you, you big dope! I hated that I had to hurt _Edward!_" I couldn't stop the hiccup giggle that followed.

Only my Paul would fail to see what I was trying to say. Only he would miss that draw I felt to him, even here and now. He brought me peace, and even when he was being neurotic I could feel his love for me rolling off him in waves. How he could ever think I would resist that was beyond me.

"You're insane if you think I could ever choose anyone over you! Now come over here and kiss me," I demanded.

"Don't have to tell me twice!" he said, cupping my cheeks reverently.

When his lips finally met mine, my body exploded to life. Even the cut on my lip seemed to appreciate it and halted it's dull throbbing ache. I tried to stifle the moan that passed over my lips as his tongue danced with mine, but it was useless. If I didn't release it I would have exploded.

"You're killing me," he whispered against my lips, while trying to be gentle with his hands. "When you make sounds like that I get hard. And you're in no condition to deal with that."

"Twenty minutes ago, I would have fought you tooth and nail," I grinned, shuffling my numb body to the side. "But I think my pain meds kicked in. I feel all floaty."

Paul chuckled, and didn't hesitate to take the spot I'd made for him beside me, he arranged his body around me so his hand touched nothing that had gauze or stitches. It didn't leave him many options but I felt nothing, so I rolled into him, ignoring his protests.

The moment my head made contact with his chest it was lights out.

I woke up screaming, my face was streaked and clammy with sweat. The body next to me jumped, but within a second warmth surrounded me and my heart started to slow again. The darkness in my dreams had plagued me, my skin felt raw and scratchy like someone was prodding me with a hot poker. Then there was her voice, cold and discombobulated in the endless black expanse of my prison.

"It's okay, you're safe," Paul whispered above me, his lips pressing against my hair. "She's gone, she can't hurt you anymore."

"I want to go home," I sobbed, clinging to the scrubs he was wearing. "Take me home, Paul, please."

"Baby, I can't you've had surgery, they have to monitor you."

"I don't want to be here. I don't want more drugs, I can't escape the nightmares."

Paul held me too him and didn't let go. I knew I was just making this harder for him to witness, but my tenuous hold had been shaken by my subconscious and it's need to conjure her. I knew he was fighting with himself, he wanted to do what I asked, but he didn't want to risk me getting hurt because we'd left too soon. Somewhere in my blurry haze after the surgery I'd heard them talking about infections and shock.

"I'm sorry," he whispered into my hair, his voice was so quiet I didn't think I was meant to hear it.

"Not your fault," I sighed. "I should have stayed in bed beside you where I wanted to be. I should have stolen some food from Billy's and waited until you woke up to go get my truck. I was just . . . I was so happy, and I wanted to show you that I loved you with breakfast in bed. I'd never intended . . . I mean, Sam told me not to go but I didn't listen . . . I screwed everything up."

"Sam should have woke me the fuck up," Paul growled.

"No, Paul. Nobody's fault but mine."

He pulled me against him as tightly as he could without causing pain. He whispered reassuring words into my ear and rocked me gently, but it wasn't that easy. The only way I could escape the nightmares was to be surrounded by him, by his things; by the sounds of the ocean that you could only hear in La Push.

"Charlie agreed to move to the res," Paul said quietly. "There's a house down by the beach and the counsel approved it. He said no sex under his roof."

I snorted through my tears and slapped him on his chest.

"Good thing you have a place of your own then, huh?"

He chortled above me and when I tilted my head back to kiss him, he peppered my cheeks with kisses making me giggle.

"How long was I out?"

He looked up at the clock at the end of the bed, and turned back to me, kissing my nose and then my lips.

"About eight hours."

"Are you serious? What the hell have they been giving me?"

"It's a light sedative," a voice said from the door. When I turned to look Edward's father was there, smiling at me with his warm honey colored eyes. "The rest was all you, sleeping will help you heal."

I nodded and offered him a smile. I could only assume I wasn't his favorite person after what I'd done to Edward.

"Thank you, for everything, Dr. Cullen," I whispered. "When can I go home?"

Dr. Cullen looked out of the door, his head turning from side to side, before he stepped into the enclosure of my room. He approached the bed and I could feel Paul tense next to me, but he tried to stay polite.

"Most of the staff would advise that you stay for a couple of days. I have a feeling that you wouldn't be happy about that though."

I shook my head. "No, sir. I can't stay here."

"I can only offer you one other alternative. If the pack are willing I could make house calls and adjust your medication and tend to your wounds on the reservation. Anyone else I would advise to stay, but considering what you've been through I think you would be better off surrounded by the people you love where you feel safe."

I looked to Paul, his nose was slightly scrunched and his breathing was shallow which I could only assume was the smell of the vampires that he seemed to think was offensive.

"I'll talk to Sam and get back with you, Doc."

"I'll be doing rounds, just have one of the nurses page me."

We both nodded, and the doctor turned to leave. Paul kissed my forehead and rolled off the bed, following him out into the hall. They spoke quietly amongst themselves, and I watched them from my place on the bed, itching to get out and walk around. I was restless.

"Bells, your dad's on his way up I'm going to try and get a hold of Sam. He's patrolling so I have to . . . You know . . ." he made a motion with his hands and growled, making me laugh hard enough to wince at the pain from the stitches that littered my stomach.

He sobered up and stepped into the room as I pushed down my blankets and lifted he hospital gown I was wearing. My stomach was a gruesome mess, I'd been spared the sight of my arms thanks to the gauze and bandages covering them, but my stomach was less covered and I could see the scars marring my skin in jagged lines. The red head may have been gone, but she sure as shit made sure she'd never be forgotten.

"It's not as bad as it looks, baby."

"I look like a fucking carving board," I wept covering my face with both my hands. My subconscious was going to torture me enough. I didn't need to see her every time I looked in the mirror as well.

"Bella, look at me," he said gently. When I dropped my hands and looked up at him, he lifted the scrub top up and tilted his head to the side. "Scars don't define the person. You told me that. Shit, scars on a chick are fucking hot anyway."

I gave him an incredulous look and rolled my eyes.

"Too soon?" he chuckled, leaning down to kiss me.

"No," I smiled against his lips, and cupped his cheek with my hand as his forehead came to rest against mine. "And you're right, scars don't define people. I'm alive, and I have you, that's all I'll ever need. And if you think scars are hot, then I'll parade around naked every chance I get."

"I'm the luckiest son-of-a-bitch around," he laughed, pressing his lips to mine in a deep lingering kiss.

"You'll be even luckier if you go talk to Sam and get me the hell out of here."

He guffawed at the statement but kissed me again, leaving his lips against mine. "I love you."

"And I love you."

"I'll be right back."

I nodded and swallowed the urge to call him back to me as he headed out the room. All the while six words played over and over in my head.

_I'm going to marry that man._

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><p><strong>Nostalgicmiss:<strong>A bit of fluff for ya lol! Well at least she was able to say goodbye to Edward and he accepted it. Well if I remember rightly, we only have the epilogue left! I'm gonna miss Paul and Bella! Thank you so much to all of you who read, alert, favorite and review. I will respond to the Reviews soon I promise but work is crazy! I love all you guys for accepting these characters and their story. You're amazing! Sabi... You're my best friend and I feel so lucky to have you in my life Twinnifer. Writing with you is an honor. You make it interesting with your amazing ideas. Love ya bestie!

**Sabi'sSookie:** Yes, and I am very sad this is coming to an end! I think we all know how I feel about Paul, so saying goodbye to him is never fun! At least I'll still have Running Home to tide me over for a while… once we get all moved and unpacked that is! You guys all blow us away with your thoughts on this story! The love you show by way of alerts, favorites, and reviews warm our hearts! I love you all, even though I haven't had much of a chance to tell you lately! Weezy, you are beyond amazing and I have missed you so much with all this moving crap! Thankfully, I am hoping it will be over soon and we can get back to our chatting schedule! You are the bestest BFF and PIC a gal could have and the thought that I may get to see you in person soon makes me all giddy! Imagine all the plot bunny'ing that will be going on! Love you, girlie!


	22. Epilogue

**All recognizable names are the property of Stephenie Meyer. We just like playing dress up in her shoes.**

**This story is not suitable for those under the age of 18. It is rated M, so if you're not old enough to buy a pack of smokes… we don't wanna know!**

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><p><em>Time it took us<br>To where the water was  
>That's what the water gave me<br>And time goes quicker  
>Between the two of us<br>Oh, my love, don't forsake me  
>Take what the water gave me<br>**What the Water Gave Me by Florence + The Machine**_

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><p><strong>Bella Epilogue<strong>

**Six Years later . . .**

"Graham, umm you may wanna . . ." It was too late, their five year old, Jack, had already poured the bright red cool aid down the crisp white shirt he was wearing.

I watched as Graham eyed their son and then looked to Leah speculatively. Leah just laughed and kissed him on the head as she took Jack's hand and led him back toward their home.

Things had changed so much in six short years.

Leah had become pregnant before I had even graduated high school; we'd managed to develop a friendship after she'd met Graham. We'd bonded over my healing, because she'd insisted on being the one to help me bathe while I was so incapacitated. I never minded Paul doing it, but having Leah help out had given Charlie a piece of mind.

Behind the brash exterior, Leah was actually fun to be around. She had a dry sense of humor and her sarcasm could have won awards. By the time the cast was removed, she and I were as close as two girls could be. Paul had always been on the line about our friendship, but once he saw us together, he relaxed and seemed happy that I had someone so close.

I'd learned she was pregnant before even Graham had the honor of knowing. She'd always thought that she'd been given the wolf genes because she couldn't have kids, especially considering how messed up her visits with Aunt Flo were. She'd confided in me that Graham seemed to get super horny around her just before it happened, and after a little research we realized that her body had adapted to the wolfs fertility cycle, meeting Graham had triggered it.

She freaked at first, but with time, adapted and grew excited. When Jack was born, I'd come home from college immediately to spend time with them.

That was just the start.

After that, Emily got pregnant, and then Kim, and eventually Jacob's imprint, Megan, found herself in the same situation. Paul had joked that we were next on more than one occasion, I could see the hunger to start a family with me, and I had the same drive, but I needed time. I wanted to graduate college and get a house on the reservation before I even thought about it, and Paul was more than willing to keep up with the practice.

College had definitely been an interesting affair. The pack had agreed to let Paul and I live off the reservation for the four years, as long as we checked in on the weekends. So I applied to UW in Seattle, and that's where I went.

Paul lived with me in a small one-bedroom apartment off campus and actually managed to get himself accepted as well. He mostly took trade courses, but he loved it. He didn't, however, love the attention he seemed to think I was getting from classmates.

Unfortunately, he didn't seem to see the adoration he was gaining from the female populace at the school, and walked around obliviously while growling at any guy that so much as looked at me. At the end of freshman year, it had become a game to point out exactly who was looking at whom.

Paul proposed to me at the end of freshman year, and I accepted, on the condition it was a long engagement. In true Paul fashion he'd told me he'd told me he'd wait for an eternity as long as I wore the ring that showed I was his. I should have seen that coming, but I knew it was only because he loved me, and it would give him piece of mind. He trusted me implicitly. It was just the "drove" of guys he said approached me constantly that bothered him.

By the end of sophomore year, I was arranging a wedding. Charlie had been hinting at seeing his baby making an honest man out of Paul, and I was tired of fighting off the female attention Paul seemed to get. I was hoping a ring on his finger would maybe make them think twice at throwing themselves at him. I finally realized exactly what he was talking about, because it wasn't him I was worried about, college girls can be very persistent.

I was pregnant when I walked at my graduation, but the gown hid it nicely, even when Paul became obsessed with rubbing my stomach and having conversations with my belly button. I hadn't thought much about my scars since it had happened, there was one scar that stood out and colder than the rest of my body, and that was where Victoria, then Edward had bitten me. As they stretched over the growing child in my womb, I became more and more self conscious about them, especially when everyone in the pack wanted to play with the bump Paul had named "Qahla." It meant sun in Quileute, because he said that the baby and I were the dawn of a long night for him.

Charlotte was born a healthy seven pounds and six ounces and was the most beautiful creature I'd ever laid eyes on. She had my hair and eyes, and Paul's skin tone and mouth. Her tiny features were utter perfection and Paul had been enamored ever since.

"Bella," Paul's voice pulled me from my ruminations, in his arms Charlotte, or Charley as we referred to her, was squirming with fits of giggles where he was tickling her. She was eighteen months old and still just as beautiful as the first time I'd held her. He mahogany hair sat in gentle curls barely touching her shoulders, and the little dress I'd put on her was scrunched up in her Daddy's arms.

"Hey! It's my two favorite people," I grinned as I pressed my lips to Paul's, and then Charley's cheek. I was still in love with my husband as much as I was from the moment I'd laid eyes on him, and dressed as he was right now in slacks, with a white shirt, and a black tie, I was having trouble keeping my hands off of him. Of course he'd be more inclined to blame it on my hormones. I was only three months pregnant but my sex drive was off the charts, we had yet to break the news to anyone.

"Hey beautiful, Faith's asking for you," Paul said, his eyes dipping down the very low neckline of the dress I was wearing. He was killing me, my whole body reacted to looks like that and he knew it.

"Must be that time," I replied pinching him on the arm as a warning. "Go find dad and get him where he needs to be."

Paul nodded and gave me a searing kiss before handing me Charley who immediately gravitated to the cubic zirconia necklace I was wearing. Her chubby little fingers tugged gentle as she mumbled momma over and over again.

"You look beautiful, pumpkin. Give momma some sugar."

Charley pushed her hands on either side of my cheeks and gave me a big sloppy kiss only a child her age could ever give. I made my way across the beach toward the house Dad and I had shared after the attack. He'd rented out the house in Forks, he'd wanted to sell it, but I couldn't let him do that. It had been in his family for generations and was a part of him. Whatever had happened in there, I couldn't let him give up such a huge part of his history.

"Knock, knock," I called out as I stepped into the house, smiling at Embry who was looking very uncomfortable in his suit. He was tugging at the neck of the shirt.

"Oh, Bella, thank goodness you're here. My son is useless."

"Still sat right here, ma." Embry grumbled, shaking his head in humor.

"That was the point, Bells, could you give me a hand?"

"Sure," I laughed as Charley reached out for Embry, her little fingers opening and closing like little lobster claws. Being the only pack member to not have imprinted, Embry still had the most time on his hands, and the kids seemed to love him. There were times I'd come home from running errands and Embry and Paul would be sat on the couch drinking beer, while Charley was fast asleep snuggled into Embry. He had a natural ability with kids.

"Do you mind?" I asked as he reached for her.

"Are you insane, it would be a pleasure, especially if it means . . . " he lowered his voice, " I don't have to deal with that mess."

I laughed and gave my little girl a showering of kisses before heading back to the master bedroom. Faith was stood in the middle of the room looking like she was attempting a contortionist act and failing.

"Let me help you," I laughed, heading toward her as she straightened up. The cream colored dress made her skin look beautiful in contrast, and her straight black hair was loaded on the back of her head in a complex twist.

"Why am I so nervous? Wait. Don't answer that, I already know the answer," she babbled, eyeing her reflection in the mirror. "Shit, the white orchid. I was supposed to have Sue put it in my hair I forgot, because I am a nervous wreck. Bella are you sure you're okay with this?"

I took Faith's hands and led her to the bed, patting it gently so she would sit. For a moment she looked like she would refuse, but she finally relented.

"Faith, my dad loves you, you love my dad. This is a perfectly normal progression. You make him happy, and that's all I've ever wanted for him. Stop panicking and think about him, don't think about anything else other than him and you'll be fine. It worked for me."

Faith cupped my cheek before pulling me into a hug. "Your definitely your father's daughter. It's exactly what he'd tell me."

"Let me get that orchid for you. You stay here and just take deep breaths. You've given me good advice over the years. You should really start listening to yourself."

I made my way to the refrigerator and picked up the orchid before watching Embry and Charley play chase around the coffee table. It was hilarious to watch a guy Embry's size trying to run slow enough for a child to catch him. The minute she stumbled, his hands stopped her from hitting the floor.

"You got your mom's balance kid," Embry laughed, lifting her over his head as she giggled.

"Oh man, don't say that," I laughed approaching them and reaching up to tickle Charley's belly. "You need balance like daddy and uncle Embry."

"Uncle Embry? Has a nice ring to it huh?"

"Well you're going to be my brother in about forty minutes. Get used to it," I teased, patting his shoulder as I headed back to the bedroom.

I helped Faith with the orchid and made sure everything was in place. When Leah popped her head in to tell us they were ready, Faith took a deep breath and linked her arm through Embry's, while I gave my little angel her basket of flower petals.

The ceremony was beautiful, amongst the bleached white trees and sand. As the summer sun set on the horizon it set a warm glow over us all. Charlie had never looked happier, Paul and Billy were both next to him, and I couldn't keep my eyes off Paul. The last time I'd seen him in a suit had been our wedding.

I mouthed I love you and he reciprocated with a smile that made my knees weak and my sex drive going into over time. By the time Mr. and Mrs. Swan were introduced I was ready to steal my husband and ravage him, but I knew I had to wait.

The bonfire on the beach licked the darkening sky as the party begun, and I waited as long as I could before giving Leah a pleading look. She was the only one other than Paul that knew about the pregnancy and I knew she understood the drive. She stole Charley from Paul and pushed him toward me with an enthusiastic smile. The moment our eyes met, I knew he was cluing himself in.

He didn't hesitate, and only made one detour to talk to Jacob before he jogged over the sand and picked my hand up. He pulled me toward our home that was, blessedly, only two down from Charlie's lining the beach.

"We have about an hour before the toasts and speeches. Jacob is going to knock once if we're needed."

"Man I love you," I laughed as he lifted me up the porch steps with ease and pushed the door out of his way.

The moment we were inside and the door was closed, he kneeled before me, his hands working their way up my legs under the floor length dress. The moment he hit panties, he tugged them down my legs and let them pool at my feet.

He kissed the inside of my thigh and I let out a moan of pure pleasure.

"We don't have time for that baby," I sighed as his fingers ran along my lips. "We'll get to that later. I need you!"

His teeth dug into my thigh before he stood up, still holding the edges of my dress in his hands. He handed them to me as he unbuckled his belt and dropped his pants and boxer briefs in one swift move.

His hands gripped my thighs and pulled my up his body, leaving my hands free to grasp his shoulders. We were getting good at this, and even quickies like this never lacked the passion we'd had the first time.

He pushed into me and we both gasped before our lips tangled into an intricate dance of give and take. Grabbing my ass he picked up his temps as the two of us grunted and groaned with the pleasure it afforded us. He moved us gracefully to the couch, him lowering himself to sit as I took over the tempo. He knew what I like and he knew how to make it beautiful.

Pulling my dress down with the strapless bra, he liberated my breasts and took a nipple into his mouth, sucking and nibbling until I felt the waves of euphoria rolling over me. His hand moved from my hip to between my legs as he worked the orgasm out of me.

"I love you," I moaned.

He didn't respond, but he didn't need to, his actions spoke volumes. He rolled me onto my back and made slow love to me until we both came. My orgasms were always more powerful when he was reverent like that.

Both of us had a sheen to our skin when he collapsed on me, his breath washing over my bare chest. My hands brushed through his hair as I lay in a reflective silence.

When I'd decided to move in with my dad almost seven years ago, I'd expected my life to change. It was an inevitability. I had uprooted myself and landed in a town I'd hated as a child. I'd never once expected to find myself, or the piece of me that had been missing here, but the moment I met Paul, my path had changed. He gave me a reason to breathe, he taught me so much and gave me a life I'd never been smart enough to dream up for myself.

Knowing I would have a lifetime with him still didn't seem like enough, but I knew I would cherish every moment of every day with him.

**Paul**

"Well, old man, looks like she finally made an honest man out of you!" I clapped Charlie on the back as we both looked at our wives.

"Looks that way." He took a swig of his beer. "So, when were you two gonna' tell us she's pregnant?"

I spit my beer out making my father-in-law laugh loudly.

"What makes you say that?"

"Oh, please, I'm her father, and far more observant than you give me credit for. Plus, Jake told me. You of all people should know that her scent would change to the pack. Really, when was the last time that you phased?"

It had admittedly been a while. We hadn't had any leech activity since the Cullens left. They called to check in occasionally. Alice was constantly sending things for Charley. Her room was filled with the most frilly, fru fru shit I had ever seen thanks to the little pixie. Her mate and I still talked regularly as well. One monster to another he really helped me when I would retreat into myself, or doubt my ability as a husband or father. This happened far more than I would have liked. Even though I had gone through years of therapy with Faith, and had my angel at my side, there were still days where I felt like I didn't deserve to be happy or so fucking in love. Jasper always talked me down telling me that he often felt the same way, but that I had to stop looking at it that way. He said to look at it like I'm a lucky son-of-a-bitch, and forget all the rest. Never thought I'd become friends with a leech, but apart from Bella he was the one being I felt closest to. Even if he did smell like shit.

Jasper even showed up at UDub once, claiming that Alice had a vision of Bella alone crying, telling Charlie I was arrested. Since I had stopped phasing she was able to catch glimpses of me in her visions. I hated it, but it had come in handy that time. It just so happened that was the same day that I caught some fucker checking out her ass. Jasper calmed me down and reminded me that Bella needed me and I would not be any use to her in jail. He was right, but I still wanted to kill the little fucker. Jasper made a compromise with me and photoshopped the guy into a very compromising position and posted the picture all over his dorm. Turns out, he was the school's peeping Tom and the pictures exposed him as a perv. It didn't stop me from wanting to kick his ass, but it made me feel a little better. And we had performed a public service while we were at it, so it was win-win for everyone!

Edward, unfortunately, stayed in contact as well. I didn't rest easy until we got an invitation to his wedding. He had met his mate in England while traveling. I never thought Bella would leave me, but the fear that I might screw up bad enough to cause her to was always there. Edward being single just rubbed me the wrong way, and I think I was as happy as he was on his wedding day. I still growled when Bella hugged him, but his mate growled back. She was a feisty little blonde with the strangest violet eyes and Bella adored her. I loved her just because she took away my tightest competition. She was a handful and nothing like what I pictured Edward's mate would be, but she kept him on his toes, and for that I was thankful.

"Jack!" Graham's voice cut through my reminiscing. Jack had Faith's garter around his head and had removed his pants. A boy after my own heart. I loved being naked.

"Wun, Daddy! Wun!" He squealed as Graham chased him.

"Jack!" Leah's voice cut through the air making them both freeze. "Don't you know that all the girls can see your willie? Look, even Charley is laughing at you."

Jack contemplated that for a moment.

"Don't she have one too?" He asked making me choke on my laughter.

Graham talked lowly to him, Jack shaking his head and looking very serious. My angel sidled up next to me and wrapped her arms around my waist.

"Is that what we have to look forward to?" She asked.

"Ah, you're still determined it's a little boy?" I asked. I would be happy with whatever, but girls had changed my life. I was just a tad partial to them.

"Oh, I know he's a he. And if he's anything like his daddy we're going to have our hands full."

"Ain't that the damn truth?" Charlie chuckled.

"Daddeeeeeeee!" Charley squealed as Embry spun her around.

"Toss her Embry!" I yelled. Bella hated it when we did that, but seriously, like we would let her get hurt.

"Eeeeeeeeeeee!" She squealed as she flew through the air and into my arms.

"What do you think, princess? You think Mommy is having a little brother or a little sister for you?" Bella smacked me and I gave her a look that told her everyone already knew.

"Bubba," she said, happy that she had learned a new word. "She clapped her chubby hands and said it over and over again. "Bubba, bubba, bubba."

"See, told ya'." My angel smirked and I kissed her soundly. Well, she was always right, even if I never admitted it. Had to keep her on her toes.

As I looked around and our family that seemed to get larger every day, I couldn't help but be in awe of what we had created together. Remembering what I once was didn't cause me pain anymore. In fact, I had even been to visit my father in prison. Faith said I needed closure or some shit. My angel insisted on going with me and when he looked at us, tears filled his eyes. He apologized and while it would never make up for what he did to me, I realized that once again my angel was right. He was just a sick, miserable man, and he would live the rest of his life with what he had done.

As for me? I lived an amazing life, with an angel and a beautiful daughter. Not to mention that I was surrounded by people who loved me. Nothing was perfect, but it came pretty damn close. That night when Bella and I lay in bed, after making love to her twice, I didn't hold back in telling her just how much I loved her before laying my head on her stomach and listening to the heartbeat of our son. As I did so I remembered a dream I had when I thought a life with Bella wasn't really even a possibility. A little game of Cowboys and Indians with my son. I fell asleep with a goofy smile plastered across my face and thanked God for all the good in my life, and for my own personal angel in Bella.

* * *

><p><strong>Sabi<strong>**'****sSookie:** Am I the only one blubbering over this being the end? But I love writing Paul all happy and stuff! And you guys have made this journey so amazing with all your love for this story! You are all amazing with your alerts, favorites, and reviews! We have both enjoyed the shit out of them! And I must say that I am especially grateful for those readers who usually follow canon or vamp stories only that decided to give this fic a chance! I think I may have Weezy addicted to pack fics! LOL! And speaking of Weezy… bestie, you are so amazing, there aren't even words for how much I adore you! You are the best friend a girl could have, and writing with you is always so much fun! You make it easy and I am so glad that I decided to be a total fangirl and message you over a year ago! Love you, bestie!

**Nostalgicmiss:** I have the Boyz 2 Men song stuck in my head now! You know the one... End of the Road! Don't worry Sabi, it's bittersweet to me as well. I'm happy that Paul and Bella got their HEA, but it's sad to say goodbye to them. Thank you all of you for being so amazing throughout this whole thing. You really are inspirational with your words. I will get to the RR's soon, work has been insane and I've not had much time to think but I will answer them all later this week when things die down a little. And yes, Sabi did indeed get me hooked to Pack stories, my current Leah is definitely a product of her encouragement ;) As for Sabi, she is not only the most amazing BFF on the face of the planet, but she's also like a sister to me! believe me I have never been happier about being anal of RR's in my life lol! You're amazing, funny and all around awesome. Now I am gonna say bye before I get all weepy lol! I have been blessed to have you in my life girl! I love ya Twinnifer!


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